deepblue

Australia

Pants

Ponder

Pleasure

Life

Crackers

Age

Well this seems as good a place as any ? Welcome to the site ?

Inside

softly

Norman

Time

Frying

(of the) Dog

Have you ever heard of the 'helicopter view' to OCD? That's where you try to understand your predicament by looking at your situation as someone else would from above. When I read your post it struck me that you're in the classic trap of OCD. Put simply, you're self doubting and seeking to reassure yourself by checking. Evil masterminds don't worry about doing bad things and certainly don't have a morale crisis over things they've thought or read about. All you've written shows to me is that you're not a bad person, and that the OCD is leading you to believe you're the opposite of who you are. Take care