my daughter

[Mel1971]

well things have got absolutely horrendous, she is coming up to me saying 'your going to die' then askingme for reassurance that i wont

she isnt doing her reading projects from school because if she hears a word 'wrong' in her head then she has to start again or something bad will happen

she got in trouble today for rearranging the Teaching Assistants pencils, thenn when the TA touched the pencils Lorna got really angry (thats why she got in trouble)

I feel like a can of worms has been opened and its horrendous, her behaviour has gone off the scale - wheres my nicely behaved little girl??? on tuesday on her birthday we had to physical restrain her from rearranging the lit rainbow coloured candles on her bday cake, it got that bad that i had to rearrange them in the right sequence before she would blow them out.

day by day things are getting worse and worse, we do have a initial appt with CAMHS but its not till middle of April - i may have to go back ot the doctor, she has drawn a picture of 'the monster in her mind' her school counsellor is very concerned so hopefully we will get somewhere soon, all i need on top of suicide threats from my estranged husband as well - life is hell atm!!!!

[Guest legend]

Sorry to hear this mel. it must be so hard for you at the mo. xx

Does the school have a senco too.

Lorna will get better hun, because shes got a mum who can guide her in the correct way x

thinking of you all xx

[Mel1971]

thanks leg, i will try and find out aboiut the senco i think there is one as lornas bestmate has Aspergers and theres one for her x

[Guest legend]

bit of a stupid question re senco, all schools have to have one, but its paramount that the

school are aware of her problems and that they are accomodated accordinally, and ensure

that the senco works with you xx

[Guest legend]

Actually i think its important that a child with ocd, is helped with there school senco,

Edited March 4, 2010 by legend

[Tink]

Mell, from one mum to another BIG HUGE HUGS XXX You will get through this Mell your on top of situation and aware of it so thats huge plus .Go back to docs and say mid april is too long to wait as situation is spiralling out of control.

Wish I could offer you words of wisdom but only thing I can say is hang in there .People like Legend know what to do lot better than me as Im still finding my way .If you need a chat let me know .HUGS Tink xxx

[Mel1971]

thanks leg and tink,

i will go back to them as i think it wont wait that long, she is worried about her 'worries' and worried because she feels its not 'nornmal' and people wont take her seriously,

she drew quite a spectacular monster that she says is on her back all the time, she drewit in her worry book that school gave her, so i will show her teacher tommorow and ask about the senco thanks xx

[Caramoole]

Hi Mel

Have you shown Lorna the Jolly & Grump download HERE, it might help her to see that other children have monsters they're afraid of and how OCD makes us frightened. Here's another by an 11 years old.

Bang on as many doors as you can to get her some help ASAP

Caramoole

[Guest Chardonnay]

Hi Mel,

So sorry to hear your daughter is getting worse. Gosh, you do have a lot on your plate, with your estranged husband too! I agree that mid April is far too long to wait for an appointment with CAMHS. Maybe you could go back to your doctor and stress how your daughter has deteriorated? I know it can seem like you're waiting forever when you're first referred, until you get into the system.

I agree that Jolly and Grump on here can be good to show to a child. I think it was Hal that recommended that to me, and my daughter found it quite comforting. Also, have you thought of having a look at any self-help books while you're waiting for your appointment? I know it can't match seeing a psychologist, but I found the one I read quite helpful and read bits of it to my daughter too, to let her know that she wasn't the only one to suffer this horrendous condition. I think children in particular must feel so alone, and so frightened that they're "going mad" so it can be reassuring to know that other children suffer too. The book I read was "Freeing your child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder" by Tamar E Chansky, and you can order it on Amazon and get it delivered pretty quick if you're desperate!

My daughter has had some really bad times lately (she's 14) but is on an upward curve at the moment,(please let it last!) so don't despair, though in your darkest times you really can feel desperate, I know that! I hope you can get her the help she needs soon. Look after yourself too! :hug:

[Mel1971]

thanks caramoole and chardonnay

I have shown her jolly and grump and she was geniunely surprised at the similarities, she then felt a lot better. She actually opened up a lot more and i could see she was very surprised, she said 'this is about me, thats what i do' and she had never seen it before. So i wil print it off, and I have given details of this site to her Teaching Assistant who had never heard of ocd, and wanted to find out more to try and help her.

She drew a monster called Frank, Frightening Raging Anxious Niggling Krazy monster, (her words) that causes tummy twists that ache and teardrops for eyes and worries that never go away - me and her teacher were nearly in tears looking at it.

The headmistress saw me on thursday evening in passing (although i think she meant to find me!) and asked if i had a referral to CAMHS i said yes, and she seemed relieved she said 'we are all very worried about Lorna'

Marc is going to see his gp tommorrow because unfortunately his mental state has very much deterioated, and hes feeling suicidal. Although i have offered and offered to ring up and get him another psychiatrist (his retired at the end of last year) he wont do anything about it, and had last week off work, which is not like him, one of his ocd things is that he has to go to work and has to be there at least fifteen minutes before he starts work. He was put on a mood stabiliser last november which helped but because he hasnt been back to see anyone - the medication has ended.

At the moment access is not on the cards, she gets too upset at the thought of it, and he cant cope with it, so we will see how things pan out.

thanks again, i will look up those self help books unfortunately i am on very limited funds until we sell the house so may have to find some pieces out of marcs ocd books, to let her read, 'imp of the mind' and 'overcoming obsessive thoughts' xx

Edited March 7, 2010 by Mel1971

[Caramoole]

What about getting her to write a little book?

Using Jolly & Grump as an example, you could play a bit of reverse pyschology and say "Hey Lorna, you're good at writing and drawing....why don't we start to write a little book so that when you're feeling better, you can help other children understand about all of the things that made you frightened"

It just might help all of you, Lorna to get some of it out of her head and for you to be able to glean more about the sort of things that are really worrying her.

Has this all worsened since the breakup with your Husband?

Caramoole

[Guest worriedmum]

I am so sorry that your daughter is struggling so much. It must be so hard for you but it's good that she sees she has a problem and can identify with the Jolly and Grump book. It helped my son too. He also drew a monster. I think it's great she's able to talk about this with you.

With regards to senco... my son was JUST under Senco when in primary school, as he had very slight problems with learning and was behind. I was able to meet with the school psychologist and the school said that if I wasn't able to get an appointment soon enough they would put their full weight behind the referral and use senco to put the pressure on for a quick appointment. If any disorder disrupts learning and behaviour at school then senco can step in apparently. It did help to meet the lady although she had no idea about OCD.

However, in the end it was me who called CAMHS telling them my son was losing his mind and the waiting was just too long for him. They were very understanding but said that's the way it was, everyone needed help and didn't I realise that some were waiting up to a year. I replied that although I appreciate there are others in the same boat, I am only responsible for my son and he was desperate and a year waiting was ridiculous for a child. They were able to get me an appointment two weeks earlier than they had said before. SO do keep trying if you can.

I ended up working through some CBT booklets at home with my son before his actual assessment and it did help get things under control a bit. I am sorry to hear Marc is also struggling right now. My heart just goes out to you. Hang in there. You will get through this.

[Mel1971]

thanks caramoole and worried mum,

caramoole - it has worsened since her problems with her father happened, we asked a year ago for the school counsellor to see her about her anxiety, luckily that started last November and she sees her once a week, and has a Teaching Assistant she goes to twice a day to talk through any problems, now its like a floodgate has opened! the book idea is fantastic, she loves drawing and writing, she read about the ocduk kids magazine and is really interested in contributing - thanks again

worried mum - thanks! it is good that shes happy to talk about it, she wasnt at first, she still refuses to talk about her father, and i am not pushing her atm. Lornas school has been very helpful, her everyday teacher is fantastic, Lorna went down a maths group recently - she was ok to be in the higher maths group intellectually but she couldnt cope with the doubting that she wasnt any good, she had no confidence and thought the teacher ( a different one) hated her and kept staring at her, so she had a bit of a meltdown and was put down to her everday teachers lower maths group, where shes at ease.

Thanks for your advice re camhs, its spurred me on to get help quicker! Marc saw his gp today, and was put on Quetiapine to help him and has been referred back to psychiatrist.

[Mel1971]

ok we had the asessment today (brought forward) and she was diagnosed as having ocd, but she has to have a second assessment to see if there are any other mental health concerns, we still have to keep the April appointment but the child psychologist i saw today said that Lorna would probably be ok to pass through the other assesment, (its to do with behavioural problems apparently) they are going to start cbt as soon as they can, and send letters to the school and social services x

[Caramoole]

I'm glad things have started moving for Lorna. It's horrible enough dealing with OCD as an adult, it must be terrifying for children.

Hope things go well

Caramoole

[Guest worriedmum]

I am SO glad you got the assessment brought forward and you have a firm diagnosis, although I know it came as no surprise! But I am so relieved for you that you are now on the way to getting her help and that they will start CBT soon.

I really hope that she responds well to treatment and that you will soon have your little girl back to how she used to be and that she can be free of this horrible illness. Do take care and keep us updated on how things go. Hang in there.

[Mel1971]

thanks caramoole and worried mum, we were very lucky to get in so quick, apparently the gp and school had been on to them! And luckily the facility is about 15 minutes walk from where we live so very fortunate,

[Guest legend]

good news mel. and one hopes that the cbt helps, and life improves for you all...x

you really are a SUPERMUM. X

Legend.

[Guest Chardonnay]

That's good news, Mel! Although no one exactly wants their child to be diagnosed with OCD, at least it will get her the help she needs, and it's great that she'll be starting CBT soon. Really hope she starts to feel better soon!

[Mel1971]

aww thanks leg, thanks chardonnay,

i do feel more postive now and she knows help is at hand, i saw the solictor today and have petitioned for divorce, so its all happening

[Mel1971]

ok an update again lol dont feel i am getting anywhere tho

the senior mental health practioner at our local camhs thinks that lorna needs to be assessed by a specialist mental health unit five miles away, which is great that they are getting on and doing something, but i dont drive, have very limited funds and work so its a bit of a nightmare, so will hvae to investigate the buses and how much they cost.

but onwards and upwards!!

[whitebeam]

Hi mel,

Sorry to hear that things are so tough for lorna at the moment. I remember her as a lovely, bubbly little girl and hope that soon she will be feeling better from the awful burden of OCD fears.

I'm glad that you are getting the appointments now and that soon appropriate treatment will be found.

Take care, both of you :hug:

whitebeam

[Mel1971]

Thanks Penny

She remembers the camping trip with great fondness, you and Tony were so kind to her. I get glimpses of that bubbly happy girl, like when we went down to lyme regis last monday with the school, she ran around the beach like the other kids laughing and shouting. Unforuntaely the bus broke down just before we got going home and she thought that was an omen that we were going to crash and that i was going to die, so she got all worked up and nearly made herself sick.

But onwards and upwards as I said before

thanks again xxx

[Guest worriedmum]

Hi again. Just stopping by to say hi. Glad to hear your daughter is getting an assessment with a specialist but sorry to hear about the travel costs. Not wanting to ask personal questions... but if you get help with things like prescriptions (like with tax credits/exemption certificate etc.) you can also claim back on travel for medical things. Maybe it doesn't apply to you but I thought I would say. Not everyone knows that travel can be claimed back. I haven't done it personally so not sure of the procedure, but someone I know has.

Also just re-reading your posts about her dropping a level in maths because of her doubting. My son was and still is to some extent VERY MUCH like that. He had trouble a few years ago with this one teacher as it drove her mad him always asking for reassurance and not having any confidence with his answers etc. It was probably OCD back then! But even still now... I see glimpses of it as he's doing his homework and is asking me about it. He'll research something on the internet and get the right information but then he'll say to me "do you think this is right? I am not sure. What if it isn't?" And "I think my teacher said this or that... but not sure...maybe I heard it wrong" and of-course WE don't know as we weren't there! SO we try to stay firm and say, well think it through. But it's the nasty doubting creeping in, the 'what ifs'. It's very subtle in things like that because sometimes kids don't pay attention & don't actually know but with Josh he DOES know it deep down and we have to instil the confidence in him to trust that original thought. Stupid OCD.

Keep us updated on how things go. Are you going to Chessington by the way?

[Mel1971]

thanks so much worried mum,

you know thats exactly what lorna does, it was just maths but now its spread to other things, she has had doubting problems with maths for years and looking back i can see it was to do with her ocd. I do hope that youre son improves and that he can see that he is good and gets that confidence. As with your son Lorna is really good at maths and KNOWS the answers but wont accept that they are 'right' she needs reassuarance all the time.

Her newest fear is now that teachers at school can 'see' her at home with a camera so she worries constantly that shes said something bad about them by mistake (even tho she doesnt).It seems to be a new worry or direction every day typical ocd running rampant at the moment. Ho hum lets hope this treatment starting next month starts to help push it back a bit

thanks again xx