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Hi guys not here for reassurance, for sympathy or pity or anything else. Just wanted to share with you guys that I’m doing well, I’m doing what I should be doing and not giving the thoughts importance. Yes it’s difficult but it can be done. Eventually we can be well once we keep trying. Much love and courage  to all of you who are on a similar journey to mine. X

I do have one question that has come up for me. So I’m using the 6 steps Recognize, Just Thoughts, Accept and Allow, Float and Feel, Let time Pass and Proceed. This 6 step plan lets me identify the thoughts and gently disengage. My question is around one teaching in it. So under Accept and Allow it says; ‘ Stop trying to look for the answer to a problem that has no answer, furthermore it is not a problem’.  How would I understand this to mean? It’s totally clear to me. Thanks guys. 

Edited by Nikki79
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I think it refers to the fact that OCD asks us to figure things out when we don't need to - for example, for me it could refer to a problem I have with drinking glasses in that no matter how long I look at them, I can't convince myself they are clean. this step would mean I should stop trying to solve an unsolvable problem - I will NEVER be 100% sure it's clean. The second part would remind me that it's only a problem because my OCD says it is, not because it actually is :) I hope this makes sense! 

Where did you come across these steps? They sound really helpful and I'd love to find out more! :D 

I'm glad you're doing well - that's wonderful to hear! :D  

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16 minutes ago, ivybasil said:

I think it refers to the fact that OCD asks us to figure things out when we don't need to - for example, for me it could refer to a problem I have with drinking glasses in that no matter how long I look at them, I can't convince myself they are clean. this step would mean I should stop trying to solve an unsolvable problem - I will NEVER be 100% sure it's clean. The second part would remind me that it's only a problem because my OCD says it is, not because it actually is :) I hope this makes sense! 

Where did you come across these steps? They sound really helpful and I'd love to find out more! :D 

I'm glad you're doing well - that's wonderful to hear! :D  

My therapist gave them to me. She is a Psychologist so I’m not sure exactly where she got them originally.

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Hey Nikki,

I'm glad you feel better. Stick with your plan. You'll do it! Trust me. No matter how worse you'll feel. No matter how hard it seems to right now: There is an end to all of this pain, you suffer from.

Regarding your six steps plan:

Well, I can't say for sure what the author of it meant by those terms, but my interpretation would be as following. To make sure you understand what I mean by intrusive thoughts, I also want to explain it here once again:

Intrusive thoughts

  • Intrusive thoughts can be manifest in different forms: words, feelings, images, ideas, urges, sensations and whatever.
  • Intrusive thoughts are egodystonic in their very nature, which means, that hey do not reflect your values, but in fact the very opposite.
  • Intrusive thoughts are extremely common and everybody does experience them.
  • Intrusive thoughts in themselves are not the issue. Our reaction to them is.
  • Intrusive thoughts will get worse and worse, the more you argue with them.
  • Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of people, who suffer from OCD.

Some people claim, that you need to be desensitized by your intrusive thoughts content. This is just ridiculous. Don't do that. You don't have to agree with them. You shouldn't agree with them, if they go against your values. Instead, you just accept that intrusive thoughts in general are something very normal to experience. Everybody does have them. You therefore are not going to fight it, nor are you going to accept their content. That's not the way. You just accept their presence, and you accept them for what they are: Intrusive thoughts, that will fade away again, without attaching any meaning to it.

Now let's talk about your very plan:

Accept

  • Accept that you do suffer from OCD, without doubting it.
  • Accept that you're therefore suffering from its irrationality, without trying to find a reason in it.
  • Accept that it is constantly trying to bombard you with all the intrusive thoughts, without defining yourself by them.
  • Accept that intrusive thoughts are normal and that everybody does have them, without doubting that they may differ for others.
  • Accept that intrusive thoughts are nothing else, but intrusive thoughts, without denying this truth.

Allow

  • Allow the intrusive thoughts to enter your mind, without fighting their presence.
  • Allow them to be part of your consciousness, without attaching a meaning to them.
  • Allow them to be present in the very moment, without trying to get rid of them.

 

I wish you the best of luck, Nikki. You'll do it.

 

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12 minutes ago, discuccsant said:

Hey Nikki,

I'm glad you feel better. Stick with your plan. You'll do it! Trust me. No matter how worse you'll feel. No matter how hard it seems to right now: There is an end to all of this pain, you suffer from.

Regarding your six steps plan:

Well, I can't say for sure what the author of it meant by those terms, but my interpretation would be as following. To make sure you understand what I mean by intrusive thoughts, I also want to explain it here once again:

Intrusive thoughts

  • Intrusive thoughts can be manifest in different forms: words, feelings, images, ideas, urges, sensations and whatever.
  • Intrusive thoughts are egodystonic in their very nature, which means, that hey do not reflect your values, but in fact the very opposite.
  • Intrusive thoughts are extremely common and everybody does experience them.
  • Intrusive thoughts in themselves are not the issue. Our reaction to them is.
  • Intrusive thoughts will get worse and worse, the more you argue with them.
  • Intrusive thoughts are a symptom of people, who suffer from OCD.

Some people claim, that you need to be desensitized by your intrusive thoughts content. This is just ridiculous. Don't do that. You don't have to agree with them. You shouldn't agree with them, if they go against your values. Instead, you just accept that intrusive thoughts in general are something very normal to experience. Everybody does have them. You therefore are not going to fight it, nor are you going to accept their content. That's not the way. You just accept their presence, and you accept them for what they are: Intrusive thoughts, that will fade away again, without attaching any meaning to it.

Now let's talk about your very plan:

Accept

  • Accept that you do suffer from OCD, without doubting it.
  • Accept that you're therefore suffering from its irrationality, without trying to find a reason in it.
  • Accept that it is constantly trying to bombard you with all the intrusive thoughts, without defining yourself by them.
  • Accept that intrusive thoughts are normal and that everybody does have them, without doubting that they may differ for others.
  • Accept that intrusive thoughts are nothing else, but intrusive thoughts, without denying this truth.

Allow

  • Allow the intrusive thoughts to enter your mind, without fighting their presence.
  • Allow them to be part of your consciousness, without attaching a meaning to them.
  • Allow them to be present in the very moment, without trying to get rid of them.

 

I wish you the best of luck, Nikki. You'll do it.

 

Hi Discuccsant. Thanks for that. I feel like my head is wrecked at the moment. It’s constantly with the worry I want to go away. I try to recognize it and let it go but can’t really seem to let it go. How better could I be doing this D?

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45 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

Hi Discuccsant. Thanks for that. I feel like my head is wrecked at the moment. It’s constantly with the worry I want to go away. I try to recognize it and let it go but can’t really seem to let it go. How better could I be doing this D?

You know what to do. There is no other way then letting the intrusive thought alone. Literally alone. No reaction to it at all. Let it there.

You just continue with your life. What would you normally do in those situations? Continue with that, without giving your OCD anything. Live, as if it wasn't present.

There is no more to that.

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Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, discuccsant said:

You know what to do. There is no other way then letting the intrusive thought alone. Literally alone. No reaction to it at all. Let it there.

You just continue with your life. What would you normally do in those situations? Continue with that, without giving your OCD anything. Live, as if it wasn't present.

There is no more to that.

Thanks man. I just want it gone so bad I guess.

Edited by Nikki79
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21 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

Thanks man.

I may add that it feels really hard to do so. All the emotions you're feeling. You will feel horrible, guilty, distressed, anxiety and suffer. But despite all of that, you just continue your life, as if those feelings weren't present at all. It will get easier and easier with time, as those negative emotions are going to be lesser and lesser. Don't worry. The start is hard, you may feel bad here and then, but you'll feel better, you'll feel happy, and you'll stop thinking about it.

One advice I want to give you:

There are moments, where you feel like as if you're “normal” again and stronger than your OCD. This often leads to the false conclusion, that you can now ruminate over everything, as you are over it. But that's just an OCD trap. You should avoid to fall into this trap. You just don't engage with it at all, no matter how “confident” you feel — There is no need to feel confident to begin with, as there never was any kind of threat at all. It's just OCD altering the sufferer's perception of things.

You know that you're over your OCD, when you literally stop thinking about it. When it doesn't affect you at all. It may seem strange to you, how I, for example, can easily talk about my past episodes and laugh about them or make jokes. Well, it's because I didn't think about them for a long time and my OCD lost so much grip on them, as it was just starved to death. My non-ocd affected consciousness treated those episodes, for what they, every time, really were: Silly. Nothing.

Whenever I speak about my past episodes, I swear by god, I don't feel any kind of emotional attachment to them. Nothing. At least, in the sense, like people who suffer from an episode would feel. For me, it is, as if I talk about the weather being good or bad. I'm not feeling any emotions towards them at all. Maybe regret, that I wasted so much time over ruminating and that I threw away several years because of all the compulsions. But nothing else. Not even the slightest feeling of any kind of anxiety. Just nothing.

And you will feel this as well, Nikki. At some point. I promise this to you. All you have to do, is following all the advice you got from your therapist, the forum and us. There is nothing more to do, but doing that. Be hopeful and don't worry, this too shall pass.

Edited by discuccsant
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8 minutes ago, discuccsant said:

I may add that it feels really hard to do so. All the emotions you're feeling. You will feel horrible, guilty, distressed, anxiety and suffer. But despite all of that, you just continue your life, as if those feelings weren't present at all. It will get easier and easier with time, as those negative emotions are going to be lesser and lesser. Don't worry. The start is hard, you may feel bad here and then, but you'll feel better, you'll feel happy, and you'll stop thinking about it.

One advice I want to give you:

There are moments, where you feel like as if you're “normal” again and stronger than your OCD. This often leads to the false conclusion, that you can now ruminate over everything, as you are over it. But that's just an OCD trap. You should avoid to fall into this trap. You just don't engage with it at all, no matter how “confident” you feel — There is no need to feel confident.

You know that you're over your OCD, when you literally stop thinking about it. When it doesn't affect you at all. It may seem strange to you, how I, for example, can easily talk about my past episodes and laugh about them or make jokes. Well, it's because I didn't think about them for a long time and my OCD lost so much grip on them, as it was just starved to death. My non-ocd affected consciousness treated those episodes, for what they, every time, really were: Silly. Nothing.

Whenever I speak about my past episodes, I swear by god, I don't feel any kind of emotional attachment to them. Nothing. At least, in the sense, like people who suffer from an episode would feel. For me, it is, as if I talk about the weather being good or bad. I'm not feeling any emotions towards them at all. Maybe regret, that I wasted so much time over ruminating and that I threw away several years because of all the compulsions. But nothing else. Not even the slightest feeling of any kind of anxiety. Just nothing.

And you will feel this as well, Nikki. At some point. I promise this to you. All you have to do, is following all the advice you got from your therapist, the forum and us. There is nothing more to do, but doing that. Be hopeful and don't worry, this too shall pass.

Thank you again so much. I know what you are talking about as there are plenty of ‘thoughts’ let’s say I’ve had in the past that I don’t get entangled with now. At the time they were the worst ever, now I look at them unattached. Actually even my current obsession I was able to somehow ‘forget’ for months until it returned again. 

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Just now, Nikki79 said:

Thank you again so much. I know what you are talking about as there are plenty of ‘thoughts’ let’s say I’ve had in the past that I don’t get entangled with now. At the time they were the worst ever, now I look at them unattached. Actually even my current obsession I was able to somehow ‘forget’ for months until it returned again. 

Excellent. You were once able to overcome this episode. What did you do back then? Do exactly the same. Do whatever lets you think about something else. Hey, think about how awful our political issues are, or read yourself into the Afghanistan misery. Start a new hobby, you really wanted to. How about learning a new instrument? Just focus on something else. Whatever gets enough of your attention, to forget about it.

I'm pretty sure you'll do it 🤗

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Just now, discuccsant said:

Excellent. You were once able to overcome this episode. What did you do back then? Do exactly the same. Do whatever lets you think about something else. Hey, think about how awful our political issues are, or read yourself into the Afghanistan misery. Start a new hobby, you really wanted to. How about learning a new instrument? Just focus on something else. Whatever gets enough of your attention, to forget about it.

I'm pretty sure you'll do it 🤗

I don’t know what I did back then only it just seemed to leave me but maybe I stopped engaging with it and lost interest I don’t know or can’t be sure. I think D I just need to get up and just live my life and take it back. That means just minding my child and partner. Doing some exercise, enjoying life and eventually going back to work. 

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5 minutes ago, Nikki79 said:

I don’t know what I did back then only it just seemed to leave me but maybe I stopped engaging with it and lost interest I don’t know or can’t be sure. I think D I just need to get up and just live my life and take it back. That means just minding my child and partner. Doing some exercise, enjoying life and eventually going back to work. 

Well, there it is. The answer. You stopped engaging with it and lost interest in doing so 😉

Yeah, do that. That's a good starting point!

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7 minutes ago, discuccsant said:

Well, there it is. The answer. You stopped engaging with it and lost interest in doing so 😉

Yeah, do that. That's a good starting point!

Yea I guess so. D I have got so much information on what I should be doing that I get worried that I’m not doing all the things right. Is there any way I could simplify what I need to do to get better?

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Woah it’s tough, the thoughts keep coming and coming no matter how busy I am. I notice when I feel low or upset about them that I’m obviously thinking about them so I have to deflect straight away

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