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My boyfriend and OCD


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Hi everybody, I just needed some advice about my relationship :)

We have been together for a very long time, however he went on holiday with friends and they all ended up meeting girls out there our age (he added them on Instagram etc.) he said there all just friends however they don’t live to far from me, I noticed him and he’s friend was where in the area they live (they were going around driving on an adventure apparently.) His being so off with me too and things aren’t the same, I don’t know how to confront him without coming across as a psycho :( 

I ask to call a lot, he never calls, I’m always the one initiating when where going to see eachother. I feel like he’d rather see his friends more then me and I feel completely disrespected.

i’m having a lot of trouble with my boyfriend at the moment and I really don’t know what to do. I’m going through a period of really bad OCD and intrusive thoughts however I feel as though even though I have told him I’m struggling, he just hasn’t been there for me.

Thank you for any advice given x

 

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Hi There.  I'm sorry that you're going through a bad time but we can't really help with general relationship problems on the OCD Forum.  It sounds as though you're having some real problems that need resolving.  Any stress and raised anxiety will tend to make OCD worse.

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9 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

I ask to call a lot, he never calls, I’m always the one initiating when where going to see eachother. I feel like he’d rather see his friends more then me and I feel completely disrespected.

As Caramoole said, the forums are only for problems that are OCD related.

That said, you come across as maybe lacking in self-confidence and I think this is your problem rather than OCD, at least where your boyfriend is concerned. Nobody should put up with a relationship where they feel disrespected. Also, when one person is doing all the running it's not a balanced/ healthy relationship, so you might want to review that balance as you move forward.

9 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

I don’t know how to confront him without coming across as a psycho :( 

I think your own feelings about having OCD might be an influence here. Although there shouldn't be any stigma around mental health these days, people often do feel shame or worry what people will think of them.

Try not to let having OCD sap your confidence. Remember the issue has nothing to do with you having OCD. There's nothing to stop you from confronting him about his behaviour in a normal, rational adult conversation.

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On 25/11/2021 at 22:56, snowbear said:

As Caramoole said, the forums are only for problems that are OCD related.

That said, you come across as maybe lacking in self-confidence and I think this is your problem rather than OCD, at least where your boyfriend is concerned. Nobody should put up with a relationship where they feel disrespected. Also, when one person is doing all the running it's not a balanced/ healthy relationship, so you might want to review that balance as you move forward.

I think your own feelings about having OCD might be an influence here. Although there shouldn't be any stigma around mental health these days, people often do feel shame or worry what people will think of them.

Try not to let having OCD sap your confidence. Remember the issue has nothing to do with you having OCD. There's nothing to stop you from confronting him about his behaviour in a normal, rational adult conversation.

Thank you. I do feel like me having ocd will come with a lot of people judging me, I just want people to see me as not my illness but I know a lot of people I have told do have this judgmental side about it, as I’m not obsessed with cleaning but of course with social media OCD in the media stereotypically is cleaning related etc. I just wish there was more awareness around it. 
 

My ocd does not help my confidence either, I have currently started CBT therapy to hopefully help. I just feel like the situation with my personal relationships can really stress me out and make my ocd compulsions worse so people won’t ‘leave’ me.

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