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ohwhyhello

Bulletin Board User
  • Content Count

    131
  • Joined

  • Last visited

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Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Ex-Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Everything in the book

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Germany

Recent Profile Visitors

522 profile views
  1. ohwhyhello

    Family falling apart - feel like I have no support

    I think the question you need to start asking yourself is: no matter how difficult or hard it might seem, what can I do to help myself in this very moment? You keep saying you "can't" do things. What if you could, even if it was it was very difficult? You are capable for much more than you give yourself credit for. What can you do, say, within the next few hours, to take a step towards a better life, even if it entails facing your fears?
  2. ohwhyhello

    Don't know what I'm feeling

    They don't react to a thought like that at all, they dismiss it and move on with their lives.
  3. ohwhyhello

    Having a breakdown - want to die

    Have you considered taking on the advice you've been given so far on this thread and others? That is an alternative to what you are currently doing, which is clearly not working.
  4. ohwhyhello

    Having a breakdown - want to die

    Nothing is going to change unless you change your behavior. It will continue like this every day of your life until you take a stand against OCD. Why not start today? You need first and foremost to stop involving your partner in your compulsions. That is not fair to him.
  5. So what do you think your next course of action should be?
  6. It can get much, much better than it is right now. You just need to put in the work, and not rely on someone or something (doctors, therapists, medications) to do with work for you. No one can help you but you. Only you can help you. You are so, so capable.
  7. Do you think you are doing yourself any favours with this line of thinking?
  8. Anxiety is entirely tolerable, if you give it a chance. You can't stop thoughts, so just allow them to come. Anxiety can't hurt you; the REACTION to anxiety can hurt you. Disempower the anxiety, and you're gold.
  9. Maybe. Maybe not. Accept the anxiety that that possibility gives you, and carry on. Tolerate the anxiety. It will pass. Do not try to logic your way out of it. Do not argue with the thought. Anxiety may feel intolerable, and most people will do anything to make it go away, but it will pass. Don't try to make it go away. Anxiety feels like ****, but it can not hurt you. Tell yourself: "Yes, someone came to my back door and raped me. He gave me HIV and herpes." And then do NOTHING. Don't argue against it, accept it. If you internalise this, over time, I can guarantee you things will get much, much better.
  10. Do you REALLY believe that you f**cked some guy at the pharmacy? Deep down? You are clearly a rational person. I can't say whether you did or didn't, but I think you know. It took me three sessions with a qualified CBD therapist to get the basic hang of it. Longer to internalise it. You are not untreatable. Simply not.
  11. You know, cognitively, if this happened or didn't. Don't let your OCD feed you lies. To truly recover, you need to get to a place where you can say to yourself: "Maybe I boned this guy in the middle of a pharmacy and he gave me AIDS," and live with that possibility. Tolerate the anxiety and not do a thing about this. I know it's hard to imagine accepting this in the place where you're at. But you cannot even fathom how great your life could be if you submitted to the thought without fighting it. I was where you are. If I had a paper cut on my finger, I'd be convinced that I had contracted HIV by touching the rail on the subway. It's all lies. Maybe you have herpes, maybe you have HIV, maybe you are the biggest secret slut and you don't know it. Oh well. Adopt the "oh well" attitude and things will get MUCH easier. There is a way out. You just need to STOP reacting to alarming thoughts. It's painful at first, but so, so rewarding. You are doing all the wrong things. Cut out the doctors. Entirely. No more doctors. It isn't doing you any favours, it's making things worse. Be smart about this. Do NOT submit. Don't waste time and energy. This is a totally treatable disorder and you don't have to be its slave. You don't. Really. You just need to take responsibility for your own thought patterns. No one else can do the work for you. Medication and therapy are helpful tools, but no one can fix you but you.
  12. ohwhyhello

    Please help

    Not at all. What I'm saying is: what makes you think ruminating and trying to figure out what exactly happened is the way to go? Do you think you eventually arrive at a definite answer? You've not had success with this method. It's causing you great distress. So the logical conclusion is to not do what you've been doing; to do something different. Wouldn't you say? You feel like a fraud and a cheater. Okay, you can't just make that go away in one fell swoop. But you can continue to live your life despite the feeling. Feelings are just that – they can only hurt you if you let them. Anxiety is an awful feeling, but you can still choose to live a nice life anyhow. You sound like you've given up on living because you have anxiety. It stands to reason that right now, the only other option is to live DESPITE the anxiety. It's your choice – make a good one!
  13. ohwhyhello

    Please help

    They don't keep it up! What you're doing now isn't working, so why keep dong it? Give up on trying to find an answer, and live your life despite not knowing!
  14. ohwhyhello

    Worried I Harmed an Escort

    Deleted. On second thought, my initial post was judgy and not helpful. Sorry.
  15. ohwhyhello

    Please help

    Ignore the feeling and do things despite it. A feeling is not running the show here, you are. You can have a bad feeling and still live your life. It’s YOUR choice. Let the OCD sit in the back seat. What do you want to do? Make some plans! Who cares if you start worrying? You’re already worrying so, why not live your life while you’re at it?
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