Lacko'zeds

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet (Shakespeare). It's all semantics, but the term client smacks of ££££ signs, the term patient elevates the status of those below the status of doctor, so, pressured for choice, I would choose my name: Mr Smith, and the respect that goes with uttering it.

Hi, VekiQantas We, in my house, can identify with everything you've written. My wife, Lynne, has been taken to hospital no less than eight times since November - three of those were by blue flashing lights. She has had every heart test available, and was placed on heart tablets that almost filled a carrier bag, particularly for angina; most proved to be ineffective, and have since been stopped. Lynne was wired up for remote monitoring yesterday, which was removed for analysis today - we shall see! Depending on the results, she may have expended all channels in the Heart Department, and, later this month, has an appointment in the Gastrology Department. Lynne's symptoms have been quite similar to those described by you, even to the discomfort of hearing her heart beating loudly all day long. During one of her many examinations, they found that she has a hiatus hernia, and this condition causes chest pains, palpitations, feeling of pressure on the chest etc., and can also cause poor sleep patterns, aspecially when lying on your side. If your sleep is constantly being disrupted, then you're in a state of shallow sleep at best, which is certainly a cause of 'bad dreams'. Anxiety is a function that nature installed in each of us to make us alert in times of danger, but, as usual, it wasn't given to us in equal measures; some given little, and others overdosed. The problem many people have is letting go of that anxiety when there is no danger. You state that you've had 'all the tests', and you do not have a heart problem. You also state that you have a hiatus hernia, a condition that is less serious, though being one that can cause consternation before diagnosis, due to its effect on the heart rate. Despite being fully aware of your problem, you appear to be in a self-destruct mode, in which you are dwelling on what could have been your problem instead of the one you actually have. We shall be overjoyed if they find that Lynne's problems are a result of hiatus hernia, because, for the past few months, we've been faced with the possibility of a more serious illness. You've faced the same possibilities, but, instead of being relieved, you appear to be preoccupied with something that doesn't exist in reality. You have been proven to be healthy, so why can't you accept that fact? Your illness is genuine, but your perceptions of it appear to be distortions, even illusions, created by the other person living within you - the OCD beast. Living with the stress of an illness you don't have must make you one of those that nature has overdosed, and that must be very stressful indeed. Best regards

I forgot to add that I hope you make the right choice. :original:

You have a choice of whichever stress you wish, and nobody can deny you that choice. You can choose the stress you’ll experience when opting to study a subject you don’t really like, but doing it because you feel it may lead to better things. You can choose a lesser stress by selecting a subject you really enjoy, because the more you like a subject, the easier it becomes to absorb the material. You can, of course, opt for the greatest stress by doing nothing at all; thereby having nothing positive in your life, and no dreams of the future. Other than the well-being of loved-ones, sitting on ones hands is the greatest stress of all.

Hello, EndThis, It’s clear from your wording that you are American, and that two of you are sharing the same seat when travelling around the world. OCD is commonly known as “The Secret Illness”, and you’re a classic example. It appears that you’ve kept your illness a secret from everyone; even your parents. I doubt that you would have posted at all were it not for the comfort of anonymity, and altering this must be the first step towards change. You MUST discuss this with student services, so that your University can consider mitigation – if they don’t know about your problems, they can’t provide you with help. You appear to be living alone with your illness – just you and the bad guy. The bad guy being Swartzenegger, and you’re Danny DeVito. There is no way that Danny can fight Arnie alone, so you have to make friends with someone like The Hulk; the Hulk being a good therapist. You must, however, start mentally preparing by unburdening yourself of secrecy. Let your parents know the full extent of your illness, and how its effects are making your life an absolute misery. Have a chat with Grandma, to see if there’s anything that she may be concealing with her “negativity.” You appear to be making a big issue about achieving perfection. I’m in my late seventies, and I can tell you, with some authority, that there is no such thing!!! What do you perceive as perfection? Imagine two trees: one short and twisted in all shapes, and the other tall and straight – which is perfect? They are both perfect. They are living quite happily as nature intended, but we – human beings – try to categorise them. We are the only creature to consider perfection as a possibility, but we’ll never achieve it because it doesn’t exist. The product of continually worrying/striving for something that can’t be reached is anxiety and depression – triggers of OCD. I’ve just realised that I mentioned Arnie, and Danny. They were together in the film called Twins, and one was referred to as perfect, and the other as ****. Which was which – I can’t remember – I must remember which one was perfect, or I’ll go out of my mind. Please help – where are my pills? You are the only person to have hands on the wheel that’s steering you to your future, so, on route, make sure you re-fuel yourself at the right places. You have my very best wishes.

I understand what you're saying, but I'm not a psychologist who can drum up appropriate answers, though I have been around longer than most, if not all, in these forums. I can tell you that whenever I make a statement, there will always be someone who disagrees with it. You and I differ in that, other than a momentary display of contempt for their stupidity, I will give them zero amount of discussion time. I really don't care what people think about my opinions, because their opinions, like mine, are nothing more than opinions. Who cares? Next week there will be something else! We could, of course, differ in another respect - depends on whether there's a possibility that your ideas could be wrong.

We can all understand this problem. The problem being that whilst we want people to understand our illness, we want others to step forward and do it for us – it’s not called “The secret illness” without reason, and secrecy prevents understanding. I don’t really know what advice to give you because I have no knowledge of ‘the Act’, but I know that, at some time, we will all have to stand up and declare to the world that we have OCD. I believe that secrecy is one of the biggest of triggers to an anxiety melt-down, and this potential appears to be evident in your post. What if? What if? What if? It really boils down to the type of illness. Some types of OCD, such as intrusive thoughts, may never be detected, whereas repetitive actions and contamination will be detected by an employer at a very early stage. In such cases, should you fail to advise an employer beforehand that you require certain allowances, then that employer can’t be blamed for adverse reactions should your work be affected as a result. The way things stand at the moment is down to the individual applicant and employer, but until such time that people open up about their illness and explain it to others, it will continue to be misunderstood, even considered something laughable, being nothing more than people with a fetish for tidiness. If your illness is visible, then attempting to conceal it at work is a stress you can do without. I’m retired with a part-time job, and a young woman, who had been there for a couple of months, said to me “Big things don’t bother you do they but little things do?” I told her that I didn’t know what she was talking about. She then said “If I did this – it would annoy you, wouldn’t it?” She folded a page of my notepad, and made a sharp crease, which did annoy me very much. So, as stated, if your problem is visible, it will be found out eventually. I understand your industry because I was an area engineer responsible for contracts within Wales and SW England. These mostly involved large contracts, such as reconstructing RAF airfields, new hospitals etc, and though it is a tough place to exhibit OCD symptoms, I’ve always found that people changed their attitude to me after in-depth explanations – ignorance was the villain. I’ve read that OCD only affects intelligent people, and that idiots have immunity. Well, I don’t believe that at all, but it could be worth fostering that myth as a selling-point to a new employer.

Hi NNL, I have OCD, but so mild that others can’t detect it. My son, however, has it quite severely, and this household functions very differently to the way it did in the past. There are many areas in this house that are contaminated, which can neither be touched nor have anything placed on them. Some other things, such as the washing machine, certain door handles etc, may be touched, but we have to wash our hands immediately before touching anything else. We no longer have visitors because of these ‘must/must not’ rituals and, other than the rare phone call from my wife’s sister, we receive zero contact from any of our families. Do we care? Sod them all!! I state that because if one’s own family can’t be bothered to read up and learn about this most dreadful of illnesses, then there is little chance of those not affected making the effort. Specialists are there to promote cures, and we are there to provide support. A person can’t pay lip-service to support – it must be constant and unconditional. Any hardship felt by those who support are miniscule compared to the pain of a tortured mind of a sufferer. You’re not being selfish by admitting that you’re finding things hard, you’re just being honest. My wife and I find things really hard, but we’re both on the same surfboard riding the waves together, and shall continue to do so because we care. To ‘care’ is the superglue of a family, and is all that’s required for support. Your post suggests, to me, that you’re the right sort of guy, and I wish you well.

I have a similar problem - though, I don't consider it to be one. I think of a word, then try to see how many other words I can make. When I'm driving, I look at registration plates to see how I can calculate the maximum sum, or I'll recite the square root of 2 to over one hundred places. I look a patterns in paper or tiles to find recurrences etc, etc. It annoys my wife, and she annoys me when she tries to break my concentration. Fifty years of marriage and she still complains. C'est la vie!

Thanks, Legend. I don't think I'm on the mailing list

You said you had a message - I can't find it.

Hi, Pink Fairy! I feel that your greatest problem is going to be over-analysis. You must not fall into the trap of thinking that every repetitive action is OCD. He will probably place toy cars in rows regularly - copying what he observes, not as a result of possible OCD. All children carry out repetitive actions, especially when playing alone, so don't start playing the psychiatrist by assuming you're seeing things that are, in reality, nothing more than normal behaviour patterns.

I'll do my best to be there, Ashley, but I don't know if I'll be up to a gruelling 8 mile journey