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  1. This is definitely OCD. I'll probably get told off for saying this but tell you mum what happened. She can then decide what to do about the situation. I'm sure she won't be phased by it. You know you are not purposefully putting her in danger. The reason you posted this is because you are trying to save her from infection. It's just OCD rearing its ugly head again. Be strong and keep fighting it!
  2. I agree with what you say dksea but would like to add my own experience. It is not just the fact of it not feeling right for me, it is also if I have a bad thought while I'm doing it - and of course the more you try not to think of something, the more it pops into your head, so compulsions can be a lengthy process. I used to find it so difficult when my compulsions were challenged because of all the anxiety and stress it caused. It made every day hard to bare. It was of no help at all until I started to get professional help and started ERP and was given the tools to be able to cope and understand why it was necessary to be challenged and not be helped with compulsions. What I am trying to say Hopefull1 is make sure your son gets the appropriate professional help that he needs and that he understands that you are trying to help him. As dksea says, encourage him gradually to get over his fears. Offer to help him, be with him eg turning off the switch might be a good starting point. Unfortunately, the road to recovery can be long and slow but with your obvious love and support, I'm sure you'll get there.
  3. If it said 'Even though you're disabled and I have to look after you, I still love you', how many people would find that acceptable?
  4. Hi Tomi Part of my OCD is exactly what you are suffering. I had it with my own children and it eased a little as they got older. Now I have grandchildren it has reared its full blown ugly head again I have had OCD for as long as I can remember too (and that is quite a time!!) and there was no help around when I was younger. However, now there is. Take Polar Bear's advise and look at CBT and especially, what worked for me, ERP. It helped me immensely. Unfortunately I had a really bad trigger and all the OCD came flooding back. I am now waiting for an appointment for more ERP therapy so that I can get my life back on track again. Believe me, you can control it with professional help, I contacted my local MIND who were really quick in getting back to me. A telephoned interview followed and now I am just waiting to for treatment to start again. ERP IS hard work but well worth it. Please get some help quickly. I know nothing I can say is going to make you stop. I really feel for you. I can just let you know that when I stopped doing the compulsions before, nothing happened to my loved ones and if it did, I knew it wasn't my fault. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It would help if you can find someone to talk to. I kept mine a secret from my husband for years but coping has been so much easier since I told him and now my sister knows too. It is good to confide in someone, especially when you are having a really bad time of it. Keep posting on here too. There are loads of us who can try to help but professional help is the key. If I were you, i'd look into today. What always helps me is to remember what I read a while ago. YOU made all the rules for your compulsions. So because they are your rules, you can break them!
  5. Hello So sorry to hear about your situation. A really hard one to answer. When I married my husband he didn't know about my OCD although he said he always knew something was wrong. I kept it a secret for years which is something I regret now. It is so much easier now, knowing that he understands and can help. I remember vividly how much more anxiety I suffered hiding it. I also went for counseling which has helped immensely and am waiting to go back this year. You don't mention if you are getting professional help. If not, I would strongly advise it. I feel sure it would certainly help you with your relationship issues and feelings of guilt and worthlessness. OCD is much more understood and talked about now than it ever was and I am sure there is someone out there who would understand what you have, and are, going through. I hope this helps a bit. You may not have a partner at the moment but remember, you are NOT alone in your suffering.
  6. It sounds like you need some professional help - and quickly. Try phoning MIND or the NHS help line 111 (option 2). Good luck and don't give up!!
  7. With regard to compulsions: You made all the rules so you can break them!
  8. Thanks Jumbo, Hope you get the help you need quickly too. It makes me so cross, If you had a bad back you wouldn't have to wait so long to get help or be told to get treated online! Good luck
  9. It definitely sounds like OCD. Non OCD sufferers would have kissed and hugged their brother, felt a rush of sibling love,embraced it and forgotten about it. OCD won't allow you to do that, It takes everything out of context and builds on it. We all have feelings of love for siblings, our children, partners etc and we should not feel guilty about them. They are natural so don't beat yourself up about it. What happened was NOT bad, just normal.
  10. Hi Jumbo I have just read your post. Have you tried the charity MIND. They have loads of branches. I phoned them on Wednesday and have set the ball in motion. They asked when I would be available for a telephone consultation which leads to going on the list for therapy. When i did this before, I had to wait about eight weeks before I was able to be seen but I did get the appropriate therapy from a proper therapist. If you google MIND it tells you on the website where you closest one would be. Hope your OCD has calmed down and good luck with everything.
  11. Thank you dksea for your response. i know what you are saying is true and sometimes i can ignore the intrusive thoughts and control the compulsions. Today is just so much harder. Almost anything I do comes with an intrusive thought and I think how can I go into a new year with having that thought about that person. Your comments have given me a kick up the proverbial though and helped me to be a bit stronger in dealing with this. Also, your comments on the culture etc of New Years day almost mimicked what my husband has been trying to tell me today. I know it makes sense but my OCD mind is telling me this is my culture and today is the last day of 2019 for me. But believe me I am trying to see it as just another day and it is helping. 1.1.20 I wrote this yesterday and when I went to submit reply my computer crashed and I have only just managed to sort it out. Well as you can see I survived, with a lot of hard work. Coping much better today. Again, thank you for your response. It really helped.
  12. Jumbo, don't feel guilty or sad. Be thankful that someone cares enough to come see you tomorrow. It is what they like to do and chose to do. They'll be starting the new year by helping someone. How good is that? Make the most of it - the next step to recovery! Good luck
  13. It sounds as if you need a therapist who understands and specialises in OCD because the ones you've had certainly don't seem to have. Yes, your parents are right about washing your hands, but we all know that. We know the stuff we do is irrational but the OCD just keeps prodding us on. Something I read once really helps me. It said that we make all the rules for our compulsions. It is our game, so we can break those rules. So instead of washing your hands eight times, break that rule and try 4 times. When you've managed that try washing them twice or whatever is comfortable for you. Small steps but it does work. Maybe explain to your parents why you have to do it and tell them that you are working on it but they need to be patient with you. good luck with this and all the other stuff you are coping with.
  14. Hi Jumbo, Very wise words from dksea. I know how you feel when you try and it just backfires on you. Part of my OCD is preventing people from dying because of things I do or thoughts I have. When I was 16, before all the information and help there is available now, I was sent to see a psychiatrist. He was really nice but on my fourth visit there was someone different sitting there and you can guess what had happened to the first one. That set me back so far. Also a few days before I had my last session of ERP a few years ago, I had a massive spike happen and when I asked the therapist if i could have a few more sessions to help me through he said I had all the tools I needed to cope. I knew I needed help to get through it and no matter how I tried, the downward spiral began again. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I am still here and getting through because I keep using the ERP i learnt as much as I can. Don't give up on trying the ERP on your own. What happened is one setback. There'll be many that'll help. I really wish you luck and hope you don't have to wait too ling to get your CBT.
  15. Hello awiemiegeht. I really feel for you. It is so difficult when those around you don't understand. I have had OCD since I can remember (I am 62 now!) and hid it from my husband for years although he said he always knew there was something wrong. He would moan about my constant hand washing in a similar way and all my peculiar behaviours but is very understanding now that he has an incite to what I am going through and is helping towards my recovery. After I found the courage to tell him, I found as much information as I could devised for people living with OCD sufferers and he said this helped him immensely. There is quite a lot of stuff out there for them. Get your parents to read the information about it on this site too. Don't just tell them about it. Get the information for them and present them with it and tell them you want them to understand what is happening to you. It is hard for people who do not suffer to understand. If you had a broken leg they could see it but when it is the mind, nobody can see it and only you know what is happening to you. If you are seeing a therapist ask them to talk with your parents too. If you are not, try to find one as it really helps with coping and eventually getting as better as possible from OCD. I hope this has helped a bit and that you get your parents sorted soon.
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