Ma29

These seem like a great idea and I look forward to attending the webinars that relate to the type of ocd I have :).

Trying to understand your Q… Are you trying to say that to make the thoughts less distressing just believe/accept you are such a person so that they don’t impact you as much? OCD does not work like that and i would see this as a compulsion as you’re trying to give you’re self relief from the distress the thoughts cause you.. it’s not the answer to beat ocd.. you can’t just make yourself believe you’re something that is egodystonic in nature in an attempt to decrease impact they have on you - it’s not the right thing to do, isn’t fair on the ocd sufferer and ocd is far too clever for that little trick. I’d not encourage anyone to do that to themselves for the sake of making these thoughts less distressing.. you need to treat ocd the right way via techniques which can be learnt via CBT.. this wouldn’t be one of them.. I’m sure your therapist/dr would have said something similar (I hope).

@Fredagain I hear you. I find that when I’m in my most heightened state of anxiety, there is just one truth which is whatever the OCD is telling me! It’s really easy to get trapped and fail to see the reality of the situation. My therapist often says to look at the facts of the situation when this happens. This helps me a lot. However do this when you’re calmer so that you’re able to be in a state of mind to recognise the ocd vs reality.

Hey Ellen, Sorry to here you’re going through a tough time at the moment. What you describe are classic traits of OCD. We need the compulsions to give us a temporary relief from the thoughts but in reality we’re making it worse for ourselves because we’re giving the thoughts power and meaning by carrying out the compulsions - that’s what OCD wants. Remember you can’t get rid of the thoughts. Everyone gets distressing thoughts - they don’t make you a bad person. We are not in control of our thoughts. The difference is that an ocd sufferer attaches meaning to these thoughts and may give them power via compulsive behaviours whereas anyone else would be able to dismiss them and not attach any meaning to them. The thoughts we get are distressing in nature because ocd often latches onto the things we fear the most or find the most distressing ect. Yes, it is possible too - it doesn’t matter how long it’s been or how far deep you think you are. With the right tools, we can get better but we must believe that. Are you receiving any therapy at the moment or have you had any therapy in the past?

Yes and also a time when I will see that all these beliefs/rules are what is leading to the intrusive thoughts if that makes sense. For example - I have a belief / rule that hip thrusting is bad which is why when I do move hips I associate that with hip thrusting which I associate as being something sexual / inappropriate which is what triggers the intrusive thoughts and anything that comes after that.

I couldn’t have put it better myself. There have actually been times where I have stood in front of the mirror and thought about how ocd has the ability to distort reality and distort ones perception of themselves too. It’s so scary and actually the more compulsions I carry out the more power I’m giving to it to do just that…which is why I must do everything I can to not give in. This is really important. I have found that when I notice myself about to ruminate or seek re assurance I just take a minute and tell myself to have faith in the process I need to follow (I.e it’s OK not to respond in anyway to the thoughts /actions/feelings). I did today help prepare baby’s feed at 4.30am rather than staying in bed and letting my husband do it ( I need to start getting more involved and every little counts). I also managed to leave the house and go into London to meet some friends which was a big step for me as I haven’t met any friends since well last year. I made sure that when I came back I played with the baby and also gave him a good night kiss despite the thoughts telling me not too.

Thanks everyone - I appreciate all your kind words. @thistooshallpass1996 This quote. I really hope so @taurean as I really need to get back to being the mother my baby deserves. He has been an absolute angel during the last few months. I need to keep an eye out for the sneaky ways ocd may try to trick me because it’s damn good at that. My therapist has suggested that I must make an active effort to get more involved in baby’s care at this stage in therapy for various reasons - and not avoid. She spoke to my family too and told them to make sure they don’t contribute towards any compulsions as there is a tendency for them to do that. She also suggested that it’s important for me to start taking more responsibility as I have become slightly complacent due to the level of support I have. Support is good but it can also hinder progress at times. I have a busy week ahead of me but I am going to try to give it my all. Enough is enough - my baby needs me.

Found today really tough. However I created an achievement log to record anything I do during the day which i am proud of. I managed to.. feed baby, play with baby, wash his bottles and let my nephew come near me whenever he wanted too - it was really hard but I sat through it. I let the feelings pass. Some thoughts harder than others but I refused to get into bed today and just kept myself busy throughout the day.

That’s really kind of you, thank you for the offer . I hope you’re okay and have the right support around you. Let us know if you need anything too.

That’s great @L.M.! My therapist also recommended maybe getting a piece of A3 or A4 paper and writing down everything we find helpful in aiding us to stop carrying out compulsions ect.. or reminders of things we’ve learnt via therapy ect… you can do as many as you like and then have these dotted around the house as reminders when things get tough!

Hey Everyone… I would like to take a moment to say thank you to a few people on this forum whom I have come across whilst going through such a tough time. These people have tried their best to help me and have also had to be harsh to be kind when they’ve had my best interests at heart. Caramoole…Snowbear…Polarbear…Saffron37…Malina…Jan….Determination…Discussant… and anyone else who has commented on my posts to help me… thank you… I feel really grateful to be part of a community of caring, helpful and supportive people who all share one thing in common - ocd.. I don’t say this lightly but I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for many on this forum. My journey with ocd is far from over and I have a long way to go however it helps knowing I have support around me whether that’s family or this forum. As I finish writing this post I’ve also just realised how important it is (in my opinion) to practice gratitude on a regular basis to remind us of everything we’re grateful for. I think this may be a good tool for me to use to help me with recovery. Hope everyone is enjoying their Saturday.

Hey Caramoole you don’t need to be so polite.. I did think of you when I wrote that post to be fair and I agree you have tried to point this out to me in the past multiple times. You have been great in helping me so far

Hello, My therapist said I should be treating these minuscule behaviours/movements as I would treat OCD thoughts because they’re all part of my OCD. The moving my hips that bit faster, the flexing x muscle, the moving my toes, the noticing that I moved my body towards someone when standing next to them - I thought it was an interesting perspective. All this time I had been confusing actions with facts ‘well I did x action so I must be bad or it must mean something’ but in reality the only reason I’m focusing on x action or movement IS because of the OCD. Or the only reason why I’m interpreting x action as bad is because of the OCD. I’m hoping this makes it a little easier for me to understand things.

Hmm ! Have you tried to ask yourself what you would do if you didn’t have OCD? Maybe try that. You’re the best judge of character when it comes to your BF.. if you feel as though it’ll do more harm than good then don’t do it…think about the Gucci trainers you got him and see that as ‘compensation’ lol ?

This is all very interesting. I wonder whether you should link this thread in the family and friends forum - it would be interesting to see if any parents have experience of it.

My therapist advised me to acknowledge the thought and in order to avoid ruminating just gently say to myself ‘ok, I know this is the ocd and I have already attended to this thought in the past so for now I’m just going to let it be’.

Thank you for the reminder! I am struggling to sleep, thinking about the future and how I can recover. I’ve saved this on my phone and I’m going to read this first thing in the mornings. Lightbulb moment - I’m also going to buy some flash cards tomorrow and write down my favourite pieces of advice from others on this forum to refer to when I find myself getting trapped by ocd.

That would be so helpful. Thank you.

Hello… I’m looking for advice - I am so desperate to start looking after my baby again. I want to rush to him in the mornings and give him morning cuddles, I want to feed him, I want to change his smelly nappies, I want to play with him during the day, I want to put him to sleep, I want him to feel all the love and comfort he deserves from his mother. I am starting to feel very guilty that I can’t care for him at the moment. There are times he looks at me wanting me to hold him and I am too afraid. Will it get better? Will I be able to be the mother I wanted to be all along. He is my world, he is my everything - yet I can’t go near him without feeling fearful. I love him dearly. I’m scared I won’t get through this and I won’t get better. I am trying For my baby, husband and family. I am finding it hard to get over the other day when I felt like I rocked my hips too fast for a bad reason because of the intrusive thoughts. Has anyone seen parents recover from this theme of ocd - does it happen and do they manage to live a happy life and be the parent they wanted to be post recovery? Thanks ?

Summer.. only you can answer your own question when you ask whether you should tell him or not. Do what feels right for you and your relationship .

Yes 100% agree, that’s what I meant when I said the obsessions revolving around distressing topics for that individual. What’s distressing for me may not be for others and visa versa . I read an article yesterday about how one man was scared of members of the public slipping on banana skins and so he’d go around looking for them to try to stop this from happening - it was the most distressing thing for him which is a great example of how obsessions can vary from person to person but the level of distress is the same.

Hey Summer, Sadly, its life… we go through experiences which help us recognise the people that are good for us and not so good for us.. focus on getting yourself better and once you’re ready the rest will come into place. If you need support from your boyfriend or relatives right now and don’t feel like you’re getting the right support then tell them how you feel and try to help them understand - that’s the best you can do. Good luck

Hop

Thanks @Saffron37. It is so tough especially when obsessions revolve around such distressing topics for the individual but I guess it wouldn’t be ocd if that wasn’t the case.

Hehe - you knew the answer deep down too. Thank you, it is definitely hard when you try to apply the same logic to your own obsession.