Is this normal procedures?

[Guest jayjay89]

Haha my bad, my phone Didn't show that you already had replies

[Guest HeadAboveWater]

I doubted it throughout my false memory thing and I only said the other day on the forum that my biggest fear is that I don't have OCD. I struggle with it often. It is incredibly common, people say it on here all the time, you know they do x

I completely agree, ginger girl! One of my biggest fears is that I don't have OCD after all.... and that I am just in denial. That is a horrible thought that always keeps me stuck trying to figure out if the thoughts are me or not.

[Guest Saz]

Ok thanks x

[Guest Lyn77]

i still feel that way also...today i was questioning it....and i was at my daughters school watching her school nativity play today aswell xx

[seb79]

Im always questioning if i have ocd.

One day im certain i have it, next day im not sure.

Ocd at its best.

Good luck

[Guest Saz]

So tired. When will it leave me alone. I haven't rang Ashley yet, what right do I have to ring him when there are people who are formally diagnosed with ocd and in distress and I'm so doubtful about it all.

Thank you everyone for your input anyway x

[gingerbreadgirl]

so basically you keep reaffirming that you won't do anything to help yourself until you you're certain it's OCD, even though we've told you that isn't possible?

Isn't it worth taking the risk just in case it is OCD?

[Guest Saz]

I don't mean it like that x

[gingerbreadgirl]

Even if you had a formal diagnosis of OCD ( which btw many people here have never had) I bet any amount of money you'd start to think:

- they could be mistaken

- I didn't explain it properly

- I manipulated the doctor into thinking I had OCD

- they don't understand

- other people with OCD are different to me

- they only think it's OCD because they see people with OCD all the time

- what if I'm the exception

- what if I have OCD and I also did this terrible thing

- what if I'm lying to myself

And so on and so on etc etc etc.

You will never, ever get the certainty you crave. That's the nature of OCD.

[Guest Saz]

Your right ginger I'm just a mess with it all. Think I just cracked a bit the other night and felt dreadful since.

But you know what I'm gonna say if it might not be ocd shouldn't I go to authority.

That's what I'm dealing with in my head at the moment. I don't know if I literally can't tolerate the uncertainty. It's like the other day I hit a bump and knew full well it wasn't a person but something inside of me was screaming at me to check so I reversed back to check. I recognise that as not normal behaviour and that the compulsion was to go back and check but this I just can't x

[gingerbreadgirl]

But you know what I'm gonna say if it might not be ocd shouldn't I go to authority.

This has already been answered - more than once. Maybe read it over again? X

[Guest Saz]

Ok sorry ginger x

[Guest Saz]

I can't find what people have said about that bit x

[Guest legend]

Choice

[gingerbreadgirl]

I can't find what people have said about that bit x

Ok. What do you think our answer might be, based on what you've learned about OCD these past few months? X

[Guest Saz]

That I don't need to do that because I have a mental illness/anxiety thats distorting my thought process and making me believe things that aren't true x

[Guest Saz]

Or not

[gingerbreadgirl]

Ok so feel a bit like I am repeating myself but here goes...

You cannot be totally sure this isn't true. You can't be certain you didn't do this thing - although the evidence suggests it is very improbable. You can't be certain.

does that mean you need to act on the possibility of it being true?

Well. You can't be certain of loads of things. Every day you take thousands of risks - things that may have happened or may happen in the future - and you don't act on them. Why not? because the risk is small. You don't need certainty, you just take the risk.

In this case, you feel you can't take that risk. You have spent a long time telling your brain that this is enormous risk, so much so that you cannot move on until you know it isn't true. But you don't need to know it isn't true. Just like you don't need to be sure an asteroid won't hit the earth today. It might happen - who knows? But you don't take any action because you don't see it as a big enough risk.

You don't need certainty about this to move on. You just need to stop telling your brain it is a huge risk which requires urgent action. Stop flagging it up and your brain will call down and wonder what the big deal was.

[Guest Saz]

Was what I said wrong about the distortions? x

[gingerbreadgirl]

No you were right about that - but when you said "isn't true" that was looking for certainty which you have been all song. The distortions are definitely true - turning a fantastically unlikely scenario into a very likely one x

[Guest Saz]

It's that last sentence that cripples me. x

[Guest nervous]

gingerbreadgirl is bang on here, the search for certainty is our flaw. I'll give you a different example if someone has contamination OCD it won't do them any good to try and tell themselves that something in question is clean, because they will only question again later. They have to accept that it might be contaminated and they are willing to accept that risk.

[Guest Saz]

I just can't deal with the whole 'maybe it's true maybe it isn't' I can't do it I'm so sorry. I think my sertraline has by some miracle calmed my anxiety but the doubt remains strong. Now I just think the tablets are blocking it

[Guest jayjay89]

Are you absolutely certain that someone (anyone) hasn't hurt your children?

100 percent sure that no one has hurt them?

No? 99% sure? You live with that. Why not this?

[Guest legend]

Erp

You have to do exposures saz.

You're still engaging with the thoughts flavour , rather than not, that is, you aren't doing things to test the thought, youre allowing it to test you, because of fear ,angst etc, which makes you, carry out the compulsion.

Unless you cut off the supply, the ocd remains