Nobody knows whats wrong with me ???

[bruces]

I just wanna cry

[Caramoole]

Come on now Bruce......Stop this and try another way.

Start tonight, and every time you're tempted to start this introspection, this self-loathing, this rumination....get it in check, pull back from it, change it. Some of these thinking patterns do actually become habitual. It's like if you constantly roll a pebble over rough soil, eventually it will form a track, there will be less resistance and in time it will be easier to do than when you first started. Your negative thoughts flow like that, you've literally set up pathways with little resistance......but thinking can be re-trained so that you can set up those same pathways (over time) with more helpful thoughts......but you have to start, you have to be prepared to make those small changes

Just repeating negative statements on the forum isn't helping you, the forum isn't helping you in this way, is it?

[bruces]

I don't help myself I know that but with such a list of problems I don't know where to start I can't do my job because of the checking I wish I hadn't left my last job,my psoriasis gta me down the list is endless I could go on and on I see no positives

[Caramoole]

I could go on and on I see no positives

No Bruces.......You don't go on, don't even necessarily look for positives. Stop looking. That looking becomes part of rumination. For now work on catching yourself doing it and make an effort to stop and resist the urge to delve further.

No more self-loathing, negative posts tonight. Actively be your own watchman and catch the enemy.

[bruces]

It's the whole circumstances

[bruces]

How do you live when in terrible misery?

[Caramoole]

How do you live when in terrible misery?

Sorry Bruces.......not going down that road :no:

You're just continuing on the same path. You have to make changes to get out of the misery but it has to come from you first

[bruces]

Can't believe it was only a few years ago I was going on holiday with my girlfriend and I had a job unfortunately all that has gone now it's funny the difference a few years makes

[Caramoole]

A few years is a very short time and just proves that you're capable of finding enjoyment.

Are you just going to continue with the introspection Bruces or are you going to even try and change things?

[bruces]

I'm embarrassed of myself and I wished I'd never existed

[Caramoole]

You're just continuing to post the type of negative, harmful statements we've talked about. Only you can make those changes Bruces or pretty much stay stuck where you are.

I'll leave it with you to think about......but you could make a significant difference if you try. It's up to you

[bruces]

I shouldn't be here really

[bruces]

Changing my thought pattern is unlikely to suddenly make me competent in my trade and worthwhile

[Caramoole]

Not suddenly, no......but you have to start somewhere. Continuing as you are will see no improvement or benefit, just more anguish

[bruces]

I always thought I'd be good on my line of work not like this

[PolarBear]

It's not working for you bruces. You just go on and on about how bad things are and how bad a person you are. It's all guaranteeing that you remain stuck in the rut you're in. You can change it but you have to be willing to make the change. Or you can just sit around on the forum for a few more years, typing out self deprecating statements that get you nowhere.

[bruces]

What do I do ??

[PolarBear]

You've been given advice for years. You have yet to take any of it on. You just give an excuse why you can't and you start with the self deprecating comments again. It's an endless cycle until you choose to end it.

Today you've been given sound advice. Stop calling yourself names. Stop with the negative comments. No, it won't fix things right away. It's just one piece of a much bigger puzzle that you need to solve. But you can certainly start there.

[bruces]

I have depression ocd and psoriasis and I'm pretty much unemployable

[bruces]

That's enough to ruin anybody's self esteem

[bruces]

I have no chance do I

[PolarBear]

Self esteem comes from the self. You can begin to make a change by stopping the negative talk and starting to integrate some positive talk into your day. It's a small change but it could make a profound difference.

Or you could just sit in front of the computer for a couple of more years and rattle on about how bad things are, in which case nothing will change for you. The choice is yours.

[ACE]

Bruces things can change in a matter of no time really, I know it's really tough but you need to re-train your brain so to speak yes it's very difficult but certainly not impossible.It takes so much hard work but you got put yourself on the line& it won't be easy but you can do it just like anyone else can trust me :original: .For example like mentioned you really need to go urgently to your GP or another one & demand to see either your treating specialist or a new one & in my opinion seek hospitalization immediately because the way you're I think that is what is required.I know it's not easy going into hospital trust me & the reason why I'm saying this is because I know being like this is what is really needed that way you can get immediate urgent care :original: .

[bruces]

I don't know what to do to help me feel better

[Caramoole]

This thread is just going round and round and feeding your low mood Bruces. It's not helping. The next steps, even if they're only small ones have to come from you.