Hello

[Olli95]

Hi everyone, 

im new to the forum just wanted abit of advice!

dont exactly know if I suffer from ocd but believe I do in some way or form. I’ve always been an individual who over thinks everything to a worst case scenario.

at a young age I had a habit in which I would constantly wash my hands to the extent that they would crack and bleed.

a few years back I had distressing thoughts everytime I would drive that I may have harmed someone or hit someone, had a habit of going back and checking. 

I don’t do these things anymore, which is what is confusing me whether it’s ocd.

 but at the moment I am having intrusive thoughts that I have harmed someone that just constanstly play in my head. 

I have my days where I feel good and bad suddenly but it comes and goes. 

Dont know how to feel about these thoughts just confusing me making me go in circles in my head. 

Would appreciate any advice! 

[taurean]

What you experienced before and are experiencing now are typical of OCD. 

The way forward is to believe that.  The obsession is the harm thoughts, or threat thoughts, the compulsion  trying to work it out  trying to stop them, and this leads to the disorder (distress, upset anxiety). 

I am a fellow harm theme sufferer who would also get looping repetitive intrusive thoughts. 

Just think "oh that's my silly obsession",  work towards stopping carrying out compulsions, and gently - but wilfully - shift focus to something else interesting and involved. 

Don't connect with or believe the thoughts - leave them  be. 

With harm OCD the illness takes our core character values, such as love, care, and alleges the opposite to be, could be, true

That is all you need to know. 

I found allowing myself to feel love and kindness towards myself (we are NOT bad for experiencing these thoughts)  and learning simple mindfulness techniques helped me to gradually shut down the repetitive thinking.

All the best 

Roy 

[Gemma7]

Hi Ollie welcome to the forum

Your problems sound like OCD and cognitive behavioural therapy is the answer for how best to deal with it. The self-help book Break free from OCD is where I would start. It will teach you how OCD works, what maintains it and how to challenge it. If this isn't enough then seeing your gp and asking to be referred for CBT with a therapist would be the next step. 

[worriedjohn]

Just to say that I am also a fellow sufferer. My obsession is that I have harmed someone in past. Have benefited with mindfully observing the thought and distraction.

[taurean]

Just to add re the mindfulness and repeating thoughts. My (clinical psychologist) therapist, who teaches mindfulness-based CBT for OCD, said this is how it works in OCD.We do all of our obsessing and compulsing in a part of the brain she calls the active "doing" part, which seeks answers and won't let go till they are found.

When we switch to thinking in the benign"just being" part of the brain, our thoughts are clear and we are just thinking in the present in the moment. 

It does work when you get practised at it. It changed my life around by steering me out of that repetitive thought loop.  

[Olli95]

Thank you everyone :-) 

its good to know i am not alone! Great advice. Will definitely try implanting all this advice to try get back on track, I do want to get better and do want to be able to overcome this  

[dksea]

Hi Olli, welcome to the forums!
 

15 hours ago, Olli95 said:

I don’t do these things anymore, which is what is confusing me whether it’s ocd.

Our minds are complex and for as much that we do understand, there is a lot we don't understand about them and about mental disorders in general.  Changes in our life, both internal and external (such as illness or stress) can affect things like OCD.  While its fortunate that the issues you have previously dealt with have not stuck with you for a long time, that they keep happening, and the specifics of them definitely do scream OCD to me as well.  Even if it sometimes goes away on its own for awhile, I echo the advice above to take a pro-active approach to treatment and recovery.  Break Free from OCD is a good book and good starting place as Gemma recommends.  Also probably worth discussing with your doctor and seeing about a referral to a mental health professional with experience in OCD if at all possible.