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Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

Leaving the house after 7 years

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Hi Lost, 

I'm really sorry for the late reply- I read this and thought I had sent a message. 

That's great news that the biopsy results came back clear! Do you know why they're still keen to operate? 

How is life now? Are you in a hotel/with family/in accommodation? 

How is your Mum now? Have you seen/spoken to her?

I hope things are going okay!!

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Hi BelAnna,

Thank you for your message. I'm really sorry I've only just seen it.

I think maybe there's a very small chance it could turn into something more serious later, but it has got smaller since I went and I've decided not to have surgery as I feel there are more risks with the surgery and general anaesthetic. They were only going to remove the largest lump anyway, so it seemed a bit pointless as well as the fact I really don't think I could cope with it!

I am currently living in supported housing. There's quite a high level of support if you need it. I've been here a month or so, and am finally managing to open up to the support workers a bit more! I struggled at first, but they are very nice. My key worker has a mental health background and is encouraging me to do some gradual exposure work. I went bowling with them at Christmas and I've been on walks and things. Soon it will be to eat out again.

There is still a lot of work needing to be done to my mum's house. She is back living there, but hasn't had a chance to get most things sorted yet as she's had everything with my dad's death to sort out. I'm not sure what her long term plans are as she keeps changing her mind. I think we're probably better off living separately though as I don't think we are good for each other. I still see her and speak on the phone and we get on better that way.

How are things with you?

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I forgot to say, I am being assessed for Asperger's. My therapist thought it was a possibility and my key worker actually recognised it in me before I said anything. She didn't say anything until I brought it up, but I thought that was what she was thinking from some of the questions she asked me and so I asked her and she said she was thinking that.

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Hi Lost,

That's great to hear that you have a new place and that you're getting support there. What are the other residents like? The bowling trips and walks sound good. It's so difficult moving in the first place that it's nice that you've got support there. 

I guess you can have a think about having the lump removed later if you feel more able to have the surgery. Have you been booked in for another ultrasound in six months or a year just to check that it's still shrinking? (maybe it's worth asking your GP for a referral for that?). 

I'm so sorry about your Dad. How are you coping? Is your Mum okay? 

It might be a good idea to live separately from your Mum if things are working out better for both of you like that. You might also have better self-esteem for living independently in your 20s. I'm a few years older and do think that living back at home (I did live in Scotland for several years in my 20s) negatively impacts on my self-esteem and OCD. 

How do you feel about the Asperger's assessment?

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On 14/01/2020 at 18:13, BelAnna said:

Hi Lost,

That's great to hear that you have a new place and that you're getting support there. What are the other residents like? The bowling trips and walks sound good. It's so difficult moving in the first place that it's nice that you've got support there. 

I guess you can have a think about having the lump removed later if you feel more able to have the surgery. Have you been booked in for another ultrasound in six months or a year just to check that it's still shrinking? (maybe it's worth asking your GP for a referral for that?). 

I'm so sorry about your Dad. How are you coping? Is your Mum okay? 

It might be a good idea to live separately from your Mum if things are working out better for both of you like that. You might also have better self-esteem for living independently in your 20s. I'm a few years older and do think that living back at home (I did live in Scotland for several years in my 20s) negatively impacts on my self-esteem and OCD. 

How do you feel about the Asperger's assessment?

Thank you. Sorry it's taken me a while to reply, it's the time of the month when I struggle more. I haven't interacted as much with the people in the other flats as with the support workers, but most of them have been friendly. Some of the men get quite loud when drunk (some people here have problems with alcohol) and I sometimes hear vomiting which scared me at first, but I am getting used to it.

I was supposed to have gone to the clinic to discuss it a few weeks ago, but I cancelled the appointment as it seemed pointless to put myself through an examination just to tell them I didn't want surgery. I may reconsider in the future if it grows larger again.

Thank you. I'm not coping too badly with it, I don't think. I wasn't close to him and hadn't seen him for several years, so it wasn't as hard for me as for my mum.

I'm happy about the assessment, but struggling with the forms and questionnaires I have to fill in. I already had to ask for an extension and new forms as I made a mess of them keep changing my mind about the answers!

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