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BigDave

Having a crazy night (I need to re-vent stuff, sorry)

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So I need to get this off my chest because I’m really struggling to work through this. If you guys can bear with me, I’d really appreciate it. 
 

So I vented one issue earlier this week about brushing against things but the biggest issues I have I think involves urine, semen and feces. I feel incredibly uncomfortable with this stuff. Particularly, I’m very uncomfortable about spreading it, whether it be on my clothes, furniture or other items or people. Consequently I find it extremely difficult going to the bathroom or anything sexual. I also have an overactive bladder and I think often get urine on my legs by accident. Sometimes I get distracted and forget to wipe them and then I’ll blow into a huge panic when I realise I’ve walked into my room and I’ve spread onto everything from my bed to DVDs. Now I know we have spoken about this before but I need to re-understand what I’m meant to be doing. Wiping anything is never easy because it’s always wiping and then washing hands and when ever I do that, I think. Have I spread this on something else? If I leave it, then I feel incredibly uncomfortable and I have to wipe everything. If I defecate, wiping myself is very difficult mentally. I’m also wondering if I have touched my t-shirt or shorts and I can struggle to figure out what to do when it comes to pulling up my trousers. Consequently afterwards, touching my trousers also becomes something of an anxiety provoking issue. Touching my underwear is always a no no and should anything sexual happen, I literally panic about everything I touch. The idea of getting any of these substances on anything are horrifying. Please can someone talk through this with me?

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Whilst I don’t panic about this particular issue, I do have contamination fears a lot so I can really sympathise about how it ties you in knots. It is truly awful. I also know the answers: carry on and act as normal - the anxiety will eventually subside. Short term pain for long term gain. Doesn’t really make it any easier though does it? It’s horrible and scary. I’m afraid I don’t know how to get through this bit without the pain other than not too quickly so it isn’t totally unbearable. I’d be interested if anyone else knows how to make it a bit less painful? 

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Dave, I know this bothers you greatly. We've been here quite a few times before. You know what you need to do. You know that it is your compulsions that are causing your grief. The more you do them, the more the thoughts bother you and the more anxiety you feel. 

I know you don't want to go there, but you have to slow down and stop your compulsions. You have to stop believing your ridiculous thoughts that tell you a little bodily fluid is a 10 alarm emergency. It's not. I know it feels like it is but OCD lies, ALWAYS. 

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@PolarBear is right. It is annoying accepting that we can’t have the certainty and reassurance we crave, but the sooner we accept that and do the painful therapy required for long term improvement, the sooner things will improve. I still find it annoying the world is an uncertain place, but I have to accept it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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I sympathise Dave, especially around semen. however as PB says its OCD telling us falsely that bodily fluid is some kind of emergency. its not. 

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By the way, since everyone’s been washing their hands more, has anyone else noticed the peanuts they give you in the pub have lost their flavour?

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I swear to God I constantly feel like I’m stepping in pee whenever I use a bathroom because my brother pees all over the place. I had to urgently wash my hands and there were drops on the floor I didn’t notice and walked in. Not sure if my foot or slipper touched but I’m just annoyed I have to go through this. It’s probably nothing but I feel sick :(

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Note: you did NOT have to urgently wash your hands. Your mind may have told you that (obsession) but you had a choice to wash (compulsion) or tell OCD to take a flying leap.

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Whilst it would be grim, I really wouldn’t be worried if I got down on all fours and licked the floor around our toilet tbh. You do have a choice to let your tolerance to this fear increase (by not engaging with it).

Edited by OxCD

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