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Has anybody else has this


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Hi everybody, 

I don’t usually struggle with relationship OCD however it’s very recently been at its peak with different thoughts about other people ?, I convinced myself I fancied my friend and that i even liked my own therapist??! It’s such an awful feeling but I do think it comes down to because I tell them so much, I love my boyfriend dearly and i know it is intrusive thoughts and feelings so it is easier to separate it. However I’m only having CBT for the harm thoughts and social anxiety because i get thoughts that I think I fancy my therapist. It’s only came on tonight so does anybody have any advice on what I can do to help this? I don’t actually see my therapist that way of course it’s just my OCD talking and I’m not even a lesbian or bisexual at all? 

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1 hour ago, Summer9173 said:

It's only came on tonight so does anybody have any advice on what I can do to help this?

As you've already said, you know that this is your OCD talking so you have to try and stop separating it out into different sub-types and treat all of these doubts under the one global heading OCD.  When we don't you're on a constant treadmill of dealing with potentially thousands of different doubts as they crop up.  Also, there does come a point where we also have to give up on the "Does anybody else get?" type of questions.  Of course it seems very understandable at first to seek out clarification and answers but it doesn't take very long for that to become a reassurance seeking compulsion.  Treat it all as OCD and try to put aside the separate labels :)

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22 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

As you've already said, you know that this is your OCD talking so you have to try and stop separating it out into different sub-types and treat all of these doubts under the one global heading OCD.  When we don't you're on a constant treadmill of dealing with potentially thousands of different doubts as they crop up.  Also, there does come a point where we also have to give up on the "Does anybody else get?" type of questions.  Of course it seems very understandable at first to seek out clarification and answers but it doesn't take very long for that to become a reassurance seeking compulsion.  Treat it all as OCD and try to put aside the separate labels :)

@Caramoole Thank you for your reply, I just get nervous as I rely on what my therapist is teaching me to help me get through, but it’s the fact I’m getting these OCD doubts about if I fancy my therapist now which is so time consuming. Like you said it’s like being on a tread mill I totally agree, I know over time this will get better and I have to help myself while the time passes, I just wanted to know if anybody has had any similar experience’s under relationship OCD. Thank you for your reply and advice though, I hate how real intrusive thoughts and feelings are :( 

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I know it’s not real and it’s just doubts I’m my mind from my OCD, it really is so time consuming though. I can’t wait to finally put what I’m learning in ERP to practice :) I’m just not sure how I can use this when it comes to my brain thinking ‘what if you like this person’ because I have a boyfriend, I’ve never really dealt with this before as mine has always been based around harm and magical thinking 

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Hey Summer, 

One way to tackle OCD thoughts is to just not give them any importance. 

It wouldn't really matter even if you did like your therapist. You're not going to physically act on it, and it's natural to admire people that are knowledgeable and can help us. 

It doesn't matter how, what or why this thought cropped up. 

So tell that OCD thought it can't scare you :)

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The train of thought is an understandable one.  We come across somebody (a therapist) who us kind, who listens to you, who smiles at you, who understands you, who normalises things, who you feel safe with, who you like (who might even be attractive as well but not necessarily) and you really like that person.......and then BANG "What if I fancy them?" .....and as an OCD sufferer that worries you, it starts going round your head and so it goes.  An OCD reaction to an understandable set of feelings.  Accept it as such and try to apply the normal rules regarding compulsions, particularly rumination and trying to work it out :) It's a hazy memory but I vaguely remember having a similar worry briefly

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19 hours ago, Summer9173 said:

@Caramoole Thank you for your reply, I just get nervous as I rely on what my therapist is teaching me to help me get through, but it’s the fact I’m getting these OCD doubts about if I fancy my therapist now which is so time consuming. Like you said it’s like being on a tread mill I totally agree, I know over time this will get better and I have to help myself while the time passes, I just wanted to know if anybody has had any similar experience’s under relationship OCD. Thank you for your reply and advice though, I hate how real intrusive thoughts and feelings are :( 

Two things.

Why would it be time consuming? You are making a choice to take these thoughts and ruminate over them, churning them in your head and trying to figure out if they are true. You could choose to leave them alone and do nothing about them.

Intrusive thoughts and feelings are not real. They feel real but they are not real. They are completely irrational. They are lies... every single one of them.

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