Really anxious about tomorrow

[Summer9173]

Hi everybody, so I have my occupational health review with my manager tomorrow, who also happens to be head of HR too. I have requested the reasonable adjustment to work from home 2 days a week because I also care for my brother who, as some people will know, was sectioned last year and does need constant monitoring. It’s only me and my mum in the house too and my mum needs to work more hours due to financial difficulties at the moment, we don’t have much support elsewhere so really I need this to support my family. My OCD has also been awful and I just need some time to get myself back on track, being in work has given me terrible burnout which has made my OCD worse (I haven’t told my employer about the burnout side), but I need some time to recover. 
 

All of these reasons you’d think they’d allow me to work from home 2 days, right? Nope, my company doesn’t agree with working from home whatsoever. That’s why I’m extremely nervous as I need this reasonable adjustment in place for my own mental well-being at this moment in time, otherwise I’ll just end up going off sick.  I have been told that they need to give you a proper reason as to why it wouldn’t work out other than ‘the organisation doesn’t like working from home’ but knowing my company I wouldn’t put it past me. I feel extremely anxious and just needed to come on here for support.  

 

[snowbear]

I hope the review goes well tomorrow, Summer.  There's nothing you can do tonight to influence the outcome. So get your mind onto something else and make the most of your evening.

[Summer9173]

Thank you @snowbear, the meeting went as expected and unfortunately they didn’t allow me to work from home.  I’m in the mindset now of what is more important, a job or mental health? I have such a good work opportunity where I can grow, earn lots of money etc, but at the same time i work for a company that brushes of peoples mental health issues and simply do not care. I don’t know what to do?

[Annie x]

Hi @Summer9173 I'm sorry to hear it didn't go your way. Did they give a reason? I'm not sure what to offer you in terms of advice but just wanted to say I hope things work out, and keep reaching out. Take care

[snowbear]

22 minutes ago, Summer9173 said:

i work for a company that brushes of peoples mental health issues and simply do not care. I don’t know what to do?

Are you making that accusation based solely on them not allowing you to work from home, or are there other factors?

From what you've said previously the company do seem to have made it clear that their policy is not to allow work-from-home. That is their choice at the end of the day, and they may have good reason for it. For example, they might have tried it in the past and found producitivity dropped, or people weren't putting in as many hours, or there may have been problems with communication between those working in the office and those at home... lots of possible explanations. If they have a policy of no work-from-home they wouldn't be able to make an exception for you (and your mental health) or they could have all kinds of issues with other staff claiming unfair treatment because they aren't sick!

As to what you should do, you'll have to go with your gut on what is right for you. We're not in a position to advise. I guess it comes down to whether you can keep going in the job without going off sick? You could always consider looking around for an alternative job while you are still in your current one, but I don't know what the job market is like or how much your family relies on your wages. So you'll need to consider everything carefully.

Don't rush into a decision, especially if you're feeling a bit angry after the review. Good luck, whatever you decide.

[Summer9173]

On 21/07/2023 at 19:37, snowbear said:

Are you making that accusation based solely on them not allowing you to work from home, or are there other factors?

From what you've said previously the company do seem to have made it clear that their policy is not to allow work-from-home. That is their choice at the end of the day, and they may have good reason for it. For example, they might have tried it in the past and found producitivity dropped, or people weren't putting in as many hours, or there may have been problems with communication between those working in the office and those at home... lots of possible explanations. If they have a policy of no work-from-home they wouldn't be able to make an exception for you (and your mental health) or they could have all kinds of issues with other staff claiming unfair treatment because they aren't sick!

As to what you should do, you'll have to go with your gut on what is right for you. We're not in a position to advise. I guess it comes down to whether you can keep going in the job without going off sick? You could always consider looking around for an alternative job while you are still in your current one, but I don't know what the job market is like or how much your family relies on your wages. So you'll need to consider everything carefully.

Don't rush into a decision, especially if you're feeling a bit angry after the review. Good luck, whatever you decide.

Thank you @snowbear , In general, our company culture is really bad and it’s quite behind compared to many other organisations. I work in HR and I have tried to put things in place, like mental health posters and small things like that, but it gets declined every time. My manager also suggests ‘people play the mental health card’ every time a person is struggling, it’s draining to hear when you struggle yourself. 
 

I don’t know why I thought they’d be supportive and things would be different for me? I guess that’s where I was naive. I’ve been in an obsessive loop of ruminating about going back in on Monday alongside burnout and general hatred for the job now, I think I’m just scared because I am on a really good apprenticeship where I can grow in the company, but at the same time I cannot cope.

[Angst]

I would agree with Snowbear and do not rush into a decision.

I find that when dealing with dilemmas it is best to talk through your options with somebody who is knowledgeable about the subject. ACAS have info about flexible working. They also have an advice line.

HR departments generate policies - recruitment, selection, training, redundancy and suchlike. So people are broadly treated the same. But it’s good if you are a junior employee to have a mentor to guide you on the organisational culture and the nature of the decision makers.
 

Edited July 22, 2023 by Angst

[Gingham]

I agree that you shouldn’t rush into a decision. What about annual leave? Could you book some time off to give yourself a bit of a rest and then see how you’re feeling? Xxx