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  2. Yes I do very common with ocd guessing everything
  3. Know the feeling we here for you
  4. It crops up out of nowhere making it really challenging
  5. It's difficult looking for a job with ocd the stress adds to it. thoughts come
  6. Ha i think my mum used to watch the tennis without knowing the rules!!!!!! Well i think i saw Yoko Ono at the Summer exhibition -
  7. Today
  8. I am fortunate to be in a position where money is not something me or my family have to worry about (I live with my parents still). my family have always said that there will always be a place for me here. That kinda makes it harder for me to justify in my mind when applying for some jobs. I don't have the option to tell myself "well, I really need the money". Volunteering is an option, but I would really like to start earning money. I did look for jobs at charities and NGOs and unfortunately there just aren't any applicable jobs in my area. In regards to what I was asking for, I was hoping that someone may have compiled a list of tips for people with OCD and looking for a job. I have told my mum that I'm struggling since posting this so hopefully we can work something out. might go to the doctors too since I feel I've been suffering in lots of little ways since my CBT which I just don't remember anything of.
  9. I am beginning to see I have no control over these horrible attacks, I don't ask for them, I shouldn't be living worried about when it'll next "get me" I don't want any of these thoughts in my head, and yes I agree when stressed this is when they get even worse! It's a horrible illness but when you're already down it likes to jump in and make it twice as hard to get back up. I hate the fact it is always lurking but I'm trying to just trust that it is illness.
  10. Thanks for sharing Simonsky. I do get you on this. "Bathed in that stuff" - exactly the feeling. We have to remember that we have a very creative imagination.
  11. Sorry to hear you're struggling again. As well as reaing it's head in times of stress, OCD also seems to crop up when we start to feel like we're gaining control. By keeping some of our compulsions 'we leave the door open' so to speak. Be kind to yourself, accept that you're having a set back, however there's no reason why you can't get back to where you were again. Could you maybe try delaying or reducing the compulsions....small steps, to try and break the cycle? Get busy, make a plan for your day. It is draining, so be kind to youself, indulge in something you enjoy.
  12. I think @snowbear mentioned in a post the other day something along the lines of 'it's an OCD worry, it happened because I was stressed, I don't need to give it any more attention'. I think that's the key. Then get busy with your day. Honestly, it does get easier.
  13. Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I needed to post here but I am massively struggling at the moment. Things have got bad over the last week or so and I don’t know how to break the cycle. I had been managing my ocd for a while. By no means had it gone but I was able to work around the checking, counting, repeating actions until they felt ‘right’ but the last week I have been having to do so much more. I don’t know what’s changed or even how I managed to get it to fade before but I’m worn out both mentally and physically. I just wanted to share with people who understand xxx
  14. I can't really comment on the OCD itself as this is still something im struggling to get my head around myself. However, I feel this in particular. Something I have noticed is that if I’m tired, worn down or stressed in general OCD affects me far more than normal. The same can be said of if I haven’t been outside for a while or eat particularly well. Having lived up to the last few years with little to no exercise, staying up too late and eating whatever I want with no consequences, I’m beginning to realise looking after yourself is actually critical in talking OCD. I guess what im trying to say is, don't forget to look after yourself. Despite the OCD.
  15. With my contamination OCD I would probably have had a,similar response to you @Christina. Often the contamination fear that OCD creates can be based on mere proximity which OCD then whips up into the feeling one has bathed in the stuff. For example, a few days ago in the city centre I got off the bus and near the stop there was a rubbish bin which had something around its base that looked like vomit. I didn't step in it but because of proximity I felt it was on my shoes and I was spreading it everywhere. I managed to avoid the compulsions around disinfecting my shoes (which would have caused other compulsions around the disinfectant ). In fact it might not have been vomit but a discarded take-away. So I think your fear is around the proximity issue. I often cross roads to avoid walking past skips in case they have some questionable materials in them. So now the OCD is telling me that because I related the story about the possible vomit it makes it more likely it was vomit, the OCD madness never ends. "Yer gorra laff" as the late Cilla Black might have said. Thuogh OCD ain't funny.
  16. Just wanted to check in as I've been trying to avoid rumination the last few days or so, obviously there's always a sense of ocd lurking, waiting to set me back and make me feel worthless, I feel like it's very very easy for it to bring me right down, is this normal when battling it at first? Some days I feel more rational and logical other days I just don't know what is realistic and anxiety comes on super bad again. I have tried to come to a logical brief mantra in my mind and I hope I'm doing it correctly. I have narrowed it all down to a short brief set of lines in my mind when it strikes, I try to cut it off and distract. It's hard. - I got frustrated - normal human emotion especially under stress and when anxious. The situation I was in was the only reason for it to even begin. - Ocd came in to make things worse - not my fault. - which in turn set off more thoughts and visuals in my head - can't control this. - then I had a reaction, unplanned, super in the moment, no intention. - now ocd is questioning me about what I did, it made me go from "normal" to suddenly fearing I'd done the worst, creating immediate doubt and making me question everything instantly, a slight reaction to a thought which was automatic in the situation and it's got me feeling so guilty. - i couldn't stop these thoughts, images, and responses they were over so quickly and if it was intentional I'd know exactly what happened and what I wanted out of the situation, but none of this was intentional or wanted in any way. - if we think things we don't mean in a moment of anger it's not the end of the world no matter the subject, it's something we can't control 24/7. - i haven't changed who I am or what's in my heart in a split second, I didn't become a different person just because ocd decided to attack. i know i said brief haha but this is just it fully explained, i try not to delve too much into it and am trying to trust the professionals etc. i hope this is right.
  17. They shouldn't be expecting you to be calm while doing exposure therapy. The whole point is to trigger your anxiety.
  18. Yes you've got it...sorry I should have said you can change the letters around in the word if you want to, but only include 1 new one My next word is: Peas
  19. Thankyou Handy for your very thorough reply.
  20. In all walks of life there will be moral dilemmas. There are certain jobs that I would rule out in say the unofficial job market such as being a mercenary or being a member of a criminal gang dealing in drugs. Most people work to get money to put a roof over their head and food in their belly. Most of world does not have social security systems and if the extended family system cannot provide money then the future can be quite bleak. Why not begin by volunteering in a organisation whose cause you consider moral? I did a lot of volunteering when young when the organisation provided food and shelter. I learnt a lot. There will still be moral dilemmas. Such volunteering will build your CV and provide references for gainful employment.
  21. Sending best wishes eco This can be very isolating, so try to be kind to yourself and remember, there's plenty of us out here battling alongside you ️
  22. Emmm, not 1,800 on this topic Handy. Do whatever helps you ecomum whether posting, helping others or reviewing.
  23. Ok I think I get it… Heap
  24. I’m confused To change Balm into Beam you have to change two letters. And Team into Time…
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