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This is such a lovely heartfelt post Tired20 . I really agree about the core beliefs causing ocd and about self compassion -these are the two things I am working on . This forum has helped me so much in my darkest hour . I don’t know here I would be with out it . I do know that my children would be very messed up from seeing me so distraught had I not had you guys to turn to . For that I am forever grateful . I will definately be posting on your thread it feels caring and positive ! Just what we need! well done on the job Cub . I’m planning to quit my job of 14 years cos they treat me so badly but the leap is scary . I’ve been doing voluntary work for 6 months to get more skills for cv . I was terrified before I started but the amazing feeling I got after pushing myself was invaluable . New jobs can be daunting , but you will be amazing and proud for doing it ! !!!!

Wine

I hope you make a speedy recovery from your op / procedure. I hope you can come to see that you don't need to pay the ocd worries any time. Best wishes.

Thank you Ashley, ocd777 and Bev53 very valid points. I think when I'm feeling better I forget how bad it has been at times and would maybe do well to remember that. Yes, sometimes we need compassion mixed with a little motivation. I definitely have a tendency to bluntness. As I have mentioned quite a few times, I think I have slight autism in that I do struggle with nuance in speech and can be very literal at times. Other times I "get" things right away. Oh well, can't find shrugging emoji. Anyway, thanks again "guys".

Hello. Thank you for responding but I’m unclear. I guess I’d really like to know if other people try and get rid of intrusive thoughts in the same way. As in try and carry on with their day but trigger themselves in situations they are aren’t comfortable in. Situations if they weren’t ruminating or struggling with obsession they wouldn’t be in eg a cup of hot coffee would ordinarily ring alarm bells and I’d have to quickly go and move it but under the strain/desperation of an intrusive thought I get hooked on I then react to an actual danger in a completely alien way to how I would normally thus creating something else to obsess about.

I will keep trying, I am so tired and I've been under Anastasia today, as it kicked in I felt finally free of worry only to wake with worry yet again. I am gonna try and recover. I need to not listen to it's what ifs and know I haven't changed and it's all human emotion mixed with ocd and nothing was intentional. The guilt really does eat away at me and the fear tho and the doubt it's like it's all in a mess up in the air x

Madeira

I am you, you are me. Hugs!

Thanks for this. I could do with a bit of compassion to self - I'm starting a new job on Saturday and I'm feeling stressed and can't settle to anything. I'm terrified of sabotaging myself and ruining everything and just want to get it over and done with but I can't relax and am just counting down the hours until I can start. It's really hard to chill and the fear of self-sabotage - of having bad thoughts on purpose, of having promise thoughts etc just to give me something to worry about - is intense. I just cannot settle to a single thing and feel incredibly tired but unable to relax. I guess it's all been a bit of a shock; I wasn't expecting to get the job! I'm terrified of messing up on my first day by oversleeping etc (which is something I've done in my current job a fair...a fair few times, yeah). Thanks for the compassionate thread. I'll try to be good to myself. Maybe another cup of tea and some scotch pancakes with butter.

Why drag up a ''none event'' from 20 years ago? Typical OCD reaction if you let it get a hold. Dont let it get a hold. Because you got on with real life.

Cake

Hello. Similar to a previous post but I had no response so I will try and reword as it may be confusing. So my ocd has pretty much been in remission for 3 years and it’s been bliss. The last 4 weeks I’ve seen a relapse and been very ill which has involved lots of compulsions. I’m just coming out of the other side but it’s really made me think about my ocd in the past and the things I’ve done. I’m confused. So traditionally my ocd has focussed around harm. I had a child 20 years ago and that was when my ocd really kicked off terribly. So things like this would happen…… I’d have an intrusive thought, one I remember distinctly is when I was getting my little one dressed for nursery and I had a thought what if I strangle him with his jumper. The thought horrified me and I spent a lot of time very upset trying to work it out. Whilst trying to work it out I would almost lose my ability to parent at full potential. I don’t mean I didn’t care but I would stress less over things I would normally whilst I was worried about the thought I’d had about the jumper. Eg hot cup of tea on the side I would usually panic but I risked my child near it as I was so wrapped up in worry about the jumper. I’m not sure if this is part of ocd or it’s careless parenting. It was as though I was testing myself to be more relaxed. It was a really awful time in my life and looking back I don’t know how I survived and how I managed to raise my child as a single parent without any harm coming to him under the circumstances with risky compulsions. I feel really awful about it. It upsets me massively. All I ever wanted was to be a mother and it was a dreadful experience.

Chocolate

I’ve had OCD for 30 years - though it’s been in check for most of that time. I had one very bad spell when I was a teenager, and have been bad over the last five years or so - beginning with COVID. I’m a sensitive empath and extrovert and love learning and talking to people so never considered I may have ASD as well - but recently some professionals have recognised I have a lot of these traits too - eg demand avoidance, hyper-focus, repetitive behaviours and sensory sensitivities. Has anyone else experienced this?

One author I found helpful is an american doctor David Burns... His 'Feelingt good handbook is really good. It is available on ebay, as it is quite an old book... I dig out my copy occasionally for a refresh. It is very easy reading... Terry 123

That's a good idea thank you I might try that

It has been hectic this last week or so... Now I have the internet back on, I hope to have this weeks babble ready for tomorrow night... Terry 123

I do writing too. Some years ago I was suggested to do a learning journal for studies. It worked well. I bury it in secret files on my computer. I look at things like that to show me the progress I'm actually making... Not every day... But most days... Terry 123

Hi, it's good to hear from you on here. It proves that we all have a decent chance of beating this OCD. You are most definitely right... We can do this. We share something that ordinary people simply cannot understand. We live with it every day. It is almost an affliction. I've just moved home... One of the most stressful things we can ever do, so it leaves me open to all sorts of stuff. I'm back on a small amount of tablets... I don't mind it makes things liveable. Welcome! Terry 123

Excellent advice thank you !

I don't think Brain lock is the ultimate book in your situation. Sounds like you are ruminating a lot and mindfulness and attention training can be helpful. There are a lot of mindfulness apps. Or you can set a timer, focus on your breath for five minutes twice day - it's not easy in the beginning. It's about practice. You will drift away, and then you gently redirect your attention to your breath. It's about training the "coming back muscle." You learn that you can put your focus where you want it to be, again and again.

Hi, I’m also struggling with this big time - it’s the worry that I haven’t fully disclosed everything and have full evidence that I have done so. My biggest fear is that I will be worrying about it for years afterwards awaiting the repercussions for not giving full disclosure (even though I have done everything possible) and also that people will think I have intentionally mislead them. I completely understand how you feel (though I don’t have any obvious ways to help). If you put the onus on your lawyer to give you clear advice on what you need to disclose, this should at least give you someone to share the sense of responsibility with. just know that you are a good person and you are also human - unfortunately humans are not perfect - life would be so much easier if we were!!!

Me too. I think this is usually why. I'm also not great with words so worry I come across as a bit blunt at times. And sometimes we don't realise we are seeking reassurance...until it's pointed out. 100% agree

Yes. The annual conferences have been held online since Covid, but this year it's going back to the in person style. I believe it's going to be just 1 day (rather than the usual 2 day event) as we don't know what take-up will be like on tickets after several years 'away'. There's usually a chance to socialise after the presentations end, and of course you might find others who are going want to go out for the evening afterwards, or whatever people decide together that they want to do. I see you're a paid up OCD-UK member, so keep an eye on the Members Section (bottom part of the forums) as any updates will be posted there first.

Hi all I've been reading a lot of your messages, and I would like to extend my sincere good wishes to those who are suffering at the moment. Having suffered intrusive thoughts for nearly 50 years and recently having a relapse after a long period of no thoughts at all, I'd like to offer some guidance that might help. The best advice is not to nourish the beast of OCD. What do I mean by this? 1 Do NOT try to rationalise the thought. You'll NEVER win. OCD will always have a counterargument 2 Keep active. Exercise. Go for a walk or do something more vigorous 3. Eat well and minimise your alcohol intake. Alcohol does not help 4. Try to reduce stress in your life 5 Acceptance is the key to dealing with the beast of OCD. Trust me, I used to think I was responsible for harming/killing numerous people. I believe I should be on "Britain's most wanted." I had many sleepless nights worrying. If I read something bad had happened, I believed I was responsible. 6 If you believe something bad has happened, NEVER check if you have. Accept the uncertainty Acceptance of the thought can be a painful experience. I know I've been there. But trust me, the thoughts/images etc will fade if you don't nourish them in any way. It's tough but you will get to a better place.... I have. You can do this Best wishes and good luck