gingerbreadgirl

How are you feeling today Roy? Hope you've got some nice things planned x

Fantastic achievements well done

I think this is a great approach and I think the things you've described are massive achievements! You are well on your way to getting on top of this. My day isn't too bad thanks

This is a great thread - well done on your amazing achievements today

Do you honestly think you're the only person here to have suffered like this? Perhaps check out the name of the forum as a reminder.

What is the purpose of reminding yourself of this? To soothe, to comfort? What if you said to yourself - maybe it does have something to do with me?

I think caramoole is right that compulsions are the issue and I think you need to really have a look at that. Your biggest compulsion to me is that you fight so hard to control the nature of your thoughts. We've said this many times but you seem to not really hear or gloss over it. The more you try and get rid of these unpleasant thoughts the more powerful they will become. You need to let them happen - and if you really wanted to tell OCD to get stuffed, you could embrace the loop, try and make it even "worse".

Great post really helpful

The vicious flower is maintained by compulsions - and thought blocking is a huge compulsion x

Hi Roy - I would strongly advise against this sort of thing - or others reading this. Attempting to control or overwrite your thoughts will just make them proliferate more. If you just let them happen then they will become less important over time

Ok but Roy your OCD is centred around your thoughts: they feel unpleasant, they loop, they're negative, they're from the past, they frighten you - understandably. But when your obsession is centred around not wanting to have certain thoughts, then trying to control your thoughts (which is what this is - you want to have nice thoughts) is a COMPULSION. It's keeping it alive. Sure CBT can be around reframing and challenging thoughts etc. Washing your hands is also recommended for hygiene purposes. But If your obsession is centred around contamination, you will need to sit with the discomfort of not washing your hands if you want to move past that obsession. Similarly, if you want to move past your obsession around unpleasant thoughts you need to sit with the discomfort of not doing compulsions. And that means not trying to control or improve your thoughts. You tend to have a kneejerk response to any post like this. Being brutally honest it seems that you would rather be "right" than potentially consider something that might improve your situation.

I agree with this. I think all these processes are a compulsion around trying to control your thoughts/mental environment. As others have said - I think you need to just leave your thoughts alone, let your brain do whatever it chooses (whether that be negative, looping, the past, whatever it wants) and get out of your head. Stop treating your thoughts as so important and they will stop feeling so important.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this summer. My advice would be to stop messaging this person in any way. They're clearly a bit of a **** and getting a kick out of your reaction. If you don't react they will get bored and go away. I can understand it making you Anxious but from the outside this just sounds like a rather pathetic person trolling you, and they need to grow up. But that doesn't mean they're a threat to you.

I agree with this jonesy. The thing I would say though is that Howard's picture was not unpleasant in any way, it is a simple landscape with a character, it isn't like it is a violent picture or has any negative themes at all. For what it's worth I think it's a lovely pic @howard

I personally think it can be a slippery slope if we try to police what other people post on the grounds that we find it triggering. Where does that end?

My general view is that investigating signs your partner may be cheating on you is not a healthy thing to do either for OCD or for the relationship. People google random things. Also I think Google sometimes completes your search based on other common searches (not sure about this). But regardless there is really nothing here. If this was a relationship forum I would be inclined to say that lack of trust is the biggest issue here. But it's an OCD forum and OCD can jump on insignificant things. you posted it here for a reason even if only deep down. But either way i think that investigating this will do damage in lots of ways. Where you say you have no faith if you should take A sign seriously or not - again I think trust is needed and trust involves an element of risk and a leap of faith, as with other OCD themes.

There's a saying that goes if you think there's a chance it might be OCD, it probably is. As with any other theme - you cannot have certainty. Relationships naturally involve an element of risk and vulnerability. If your partner is having an affair then he's having an affair and no amount of checking or any other compulsion will make this not the case. He might also be not having an affair, in which case the above compulsions could put severe strain on your relationship and demonstrate a lack of trust. The only way past this is to allow it to be uncertain and doubtful. Leave it unfixed. And get on with your day every time it tries to surface again. I know this is way easier said than done but it's the only way out of OCD's mess.

It depends on why the thing is being avoided. If someone avoids something because it's just not their bag then that's a personal choice. But this is an OCD forum - and if they avoid it in order to not spike ocd or anxiety, then that means reinforcing OCD and potentially delaying recovery. Edit - not criticising anyone for doing this, I avoid plenty, but I think it's important we know why we're doing this and the knock on effects on recovery.

Hi lonely girl Sorry you are struggling again. OCD is rough. Unfortunately as with any other OCD theme you'll never get the certainty you crave around this. The only way to move on from this bothering you is to accept that you will always have a little bit of doubt and that's ok. It will feel intensely uncomfortable I know. But it's the only way through. Leave this question alone and live your life. Leave it be every time your brain tries to bring it up. Eventually that gnawing anxiety will fade. I know it sounds trite and I'm not saying it's easy for a minute x

Did you read the rest of polarbear's post Cora?

This is a slight tangent but I am interested in this assertion. Would really most people break up with their partner if they were bisexual? Assuming they didn't act on it? People have all kinds of attractions they don't act on. Eg someone might be married to a tall brunette but also be attracted to curvy blondes but essentially it doesn't matter as long as they don't act on it. I'm not disagreeing necessarily I just find it interesting given the various discussions on the forum about people having their own private fantasies and such. I imagine a huge number of people are sightly along the bisexual spectrum but are in heterosexual marriages, because they have committed to a person regardless of their attractions.

I love this. Video games can be incredibly creative and beautiful I think. I used to really enjoy the Uncharted games and a big part of the enjoyment was the beautiful graphics. I have red dead redemption to play although haven't got round to it yet!

I agree I love seeing this kind of stuff

My go-to "self destruct" thought is that I will wait until my parents are no longer around then it won't matter so much if I'm not here, and in the meantime can just go through the motions and kind of dissociate the rest of the time. The thing is I don't really mean it - and this feeling tends to go away quite rapidly for me and I feel fine the next day - but it is a weird kind of comfort in a warped way. And it can be tricky to talk about because it can make people panic but (for me) I know it isn't something I would ever follow through on. It's just a comforting "get out" clause when in distress. Anyway I think it's good we're able to articulate these things. Also want to second sending a big hug to everyone involved

I definitely have thoughts like this when mental health is bad. And I think this is ok and normal - and also having thoughts doesn't necessarily mean we really mean them. It's just almost like your brain reaching for things.