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Phil19

Going back to CBT this Monday - Intense anxiety (Merged Thread)

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16 hours ago, Phil19 said:

My ocd has been playing up again. A tiny piece of used toilet paper I kicked it in the bathroom and i put my foot on the table my fear is germs have spread the coffee table has drawers so I worry the contents are dirty. I already feared the table is dirty and never replaced it after my mum done a wash at her house and never washed her hands and touched the table. Could the contents of the drawer be dirty? The contents being my keys wallet and iPad 

On Tuesday you asked how you can think more clearly.

Here is a perfect example of where you can apply steps to do that.
First, stop posting these detailed descriptions of your latest worry.  Its a compulsion.

Second, recognize these worries for what they are, OCD.

Third, actively decide to handle them differently than you normally would, as best you are able (at first that'll be hard, but you need to start somewhere and you need to keep doing it).
That means, when you start to think things like "I wonder if X has become dirty now" you stop yourself, you remind yourself that such fears are drive by OCD and that you DONT need to answer them.  Then you sit with the anxiety as best you can for as long as you can, the anxiety feels bad but it can't hurt you.

Fourth, if you REALLY want to make a difference in your OCD, start putting things intentionally on the "contaminated" table and use them.  Put everything you own on the table, "contaminate" it all.  If the "contamination" you fear was real you'd be dead by now from it anyway.  

 

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It’s very hard to see clearly. Contaminating doesn’t help as I just end up wanting to replace. The iPad hit the table today and the urge to replace came. I replaced my SIM card 3 times. The issue is I believe what ocd is saying yes sometimes I ignore it but sadly various times in a day I believe what Ocd is saying. It feels real and the contamination seems real. I am finding it hard to accept the toilet paper crum hasn’t contaminated the table. Problem is no matter what the subject is it’s always something new. 

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So what are you going to do about it? Or are you going to keep foing the ssme old thing and stay in the same negative place? 

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On 21/09/2019 at 08:54, Phil19 said:

I replaced my SIM card 3 times.

And it didn't help, just like it hasn't helped in the past to replace things, you are still stuck.  How long are you going to keep doing the same thing?
 

On 21/09/2019 at 08:54, Phil19 said:

The issue is I believe what ocd is saying

Yes, this is an issue, but just saying "The issue is..." all the time isn't going to change anything.  What are you going to DO about the issue?  How are you going to act to change things?
 

On 21/09/2019 at 08:54, Phil19 said:

It feels real and the contamination seems real.

I understand, my own fears "feel real" too.  Thats why OCD is a problem.  If these things didn't feel real we would ignore them.  You know they aren't real, you know that they feel real, you have a choice to make, are you going to keep trusting the "feeling" or are you going to make an active choice to change your situation?
 

On 21/09/2019 at 08:54, Phil19 said:

Problem is no matter what the subject is it’s always something new. 

This is unfortunate, yes, but its not the real problem, the real problem is you aren't doing what you need to do to change your situation.  You keep coming back to the same thing.  Nothing you've posted today is new, its all a repeat of things you've posted dozens of times over in this thread alone, not to mention the previous pages long threads.  And nothing we tell you is going to change, its all going to be the same advice, because its what works, whats clinically proven to treat OCD.  You can either listen to it and start to work on following it, make a plan and put it in motion, or you can remain stuck.  You have to choose.

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Since I got my new phone I have worried about six times. Tonight I worried I had not been to the toilet all day and my backside had a slight strain so I worried my phone has poop on it as it was in my pocket with my wallet too. It’s difficult to control these issues as I could buy a new phone and it could happen again. It probably has happened before but my ocd is sensitive as I have a new item. My ocd has went on the journey how everything I touch after my phone could have poop germs?

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10 hours ago, Phil19 said:

Should I go back to Cbt a third time despite it costing a lot?

Going back will not make a difference unless you are also willing to do the work.  Thats likely going to include ERP and doing things that make you feel very uncomfortable, like touching a bin, etc.  CBT is the gold standard for treatment for OCD, its been clinically proven to work, your only real other alternative is medication, but you will likely still need to do CBT (and should) even with medication.  If you are willing to try medication it might make it easier to do the CBT, you don't have to commit to meds permanently.  But ultimately whether you go or not is up to you.

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On 25/09/2019 at 22:54, Phil19 said:

Should I go back to Cbt a third time despite it costing a lot?

I can’t really add too much to dksea’s advice Phil, but have you completely ruled out going through the NHS?

I have a vague memory you’re based in Scotland (forgive me if I’m wrong) so self-referral’s not a goer for you, but would it be worth talking through your options with your GP... both in terms of accessing or possibly re-accessing CBT and the pros/cons of taking medication?

https://www.ocduk.org/overcoming-ocd/accessing-ocd-treatment/accessing-ocd-treatment-through-the-nhs/scotland/

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One issue I’ve had for a few months now is I won’t go on my parents car reason is they parked close to the green bin so I worried about the toilet germs the passenger door was swung open I mean the other sides of the door are fine but I still refuse to go on the car and I fear I will need to wash my hands each time. How can I tackle this worry the ocd says touch the handle and bin germs will be there?

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10 hours ago, Phil19 said:

How can I tackle this worry the ocd says touch the handle and bin germs will be there?

The same way you need to tackle any OCD worry, to stop treating it as real.  If you want to get over this you need to do the steps we have told you about before.  If OCD says "don't touch the handle, their might be germs", then you should touch the handle anyway.   You MUST train your brain to stop treating these fears as worth worrying about.  The way to do that is to ACT as if they aren't important EVEN though you still feel anxiety about it.  A therapist can help guide you through this process and give you a framework and a plan to follow, but unless you are willing to do the steps, unless you are willing to act in opposition to your OCD, nothing will change.  

You can keep posting your fears, you can keep asking us what to do, but our answer isn't going to change.  You have to make a choice.  You have to touch the handle, touch the bin, touch the whatever it is that you think is contaminated this time.  Thats the only way forward.

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22 hours ago, dksea said:

The same way you need to tackle any OCD worry, to stop treating it as real.  If you want to get over this you need to do the steps we have told you about before.  If OCD says "don't touch the handle, their might be germs", then you should touch the handle anyway.   You MUST train your brain to stop treating these fears as worth worrying about.  The way to do that is to ACT as if they aren't important EVEN though you still feel anxiety about it.  A therapist can help guide you through this process and give you a framework and a plan to follow, but unless you are willing to do the steps, unless you are willing to act in opposition to your OCD, nothing will change.  

You can keep posting your fears, you can keep asking us what to do, but our answer isn't going to change.  You have to make a choice.  You have to touch the handle, touch the bin, touch the whatever it is that you think is contaminated this time.  Thats the only way forward.

Yes I understand but I could continue as I am as a way forward I am not saying that’s the solution but it’s very hard to do exposure cbt .

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1 hour ago, Phil19 said:

Yes I understand but I could continue as I am as a way forward I am not saying that’s the solution but it’s very hard to do exposure cbt .

Yes, its hard, but its far from impossible.  And yes you could continue as you are, but that seems pretty miserable and limiting.  

If you want to recover from OCD, the proven course of action, the course of action chosen by NICE in the UK, and similar organizations around the world, is CBT (possibly in conjunction with medication).  You are free to decline that, its your life after all, but thats all we really have to offer.  Continuing to respond as you post about your latest worry is only fueling your compulsions.  At some point we're all going to stop responding if thats all that happens because its not helpful for you OR us in the long run.
 

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A trivial issue I have is at work the toilets got blocked both male and female ones but I worry they use plungers I worry they touch the hand soap and if I touch it transfer the germs to my phone? The risk is when I unblock toilets at home I se old soap I don’t use hand soap to transfer germs? It bothers me less as I can’t see it happening but enough to make me feel uneasy?

I had washed my hands when I got home but I still worry the germs could be on me I mean toilets may get blocked in say pubs or malls but I don’t see how they wash there hands?

Edited by Phil19

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7 hours ago, Phil19 said:

The risk is

There is no risk, not for what your fear is.

 

7 hours ago, Phil19 said:

make me feel uneasy

Feeling uneasy happens, it doesn't mean you have to do something.

 

7 hours ago, Phil19 said:

I had washed my hands when I got home but I still worry the germs could be on me I mean toilets may get blocked in say pubs or malls but I don’t see how they wash there hands?

Germs probably are on you, they are on most things most of the time.  The world is not sterile.  You will never be able to live in a germ free environment.  As long as you keep trying you will fail.  You can keep trying (and failing) or you can decide you are going to accept the world is imperfect and live your life anyway.

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