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BigDave

Knocked the bin over and now in a panic

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Hey all,

I have had a bit of an OCD nightmare scenario. I have a bin in my bedroom that I use to put wipes in predominantly, screen wipes that I use for wiping objects in my room that I think have become contaminated from example things such as accidentally touching my lap or something of that ilk. So in theory, there should be some really horrid stuff in there. And tonight, as my bin was quite fully, I didn't want to push it down with my hand to make more space so instead I tried using my foot and I knocked the bin over and some wipes spread over the floor and touching objects etc. The problem is now that I am not sure I have disinfected every area that the dirty wipes touched. In theory, after a day or so, all the wipes should have been dry anyway barring two or so but still, I feel rather gross thinking that these dirty wipes have spread all over the place. I think what I have to do now though is just to get on with things and accept that nothing bad is going to happen. Because it won't. So really it is just waiting it through but it really is freaking irritating and I am damn upset.

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Ah, bad luck, Dave! I'm sorry you had a relapse. If it's any consolation, I too had a bit of a trigger tonight as well; I went to check out the webcomic of a conservative Christian and found myself panicking, thinking everything he was saying was true and started to pray compulsively. I also recognised, however, the anxiety and the OCD leanings and am now in bed watching Good Omens. 

Distraction will be a good thing - a film you like, maybe or some music? Remember to breathe and drink water, to use the old adage. Of course it's upsetting - it always is when these things happen. The current atmosphere isn't helping too much either, is it? I want to go out for a walk tomorrow but need to get the bus to my walking route and worry about unknowingly having covid-19 and pass it on to a vulnerable person. 

Be kind to yourself - your head must be anxiety-sore. Have a little rest and know you've done your best. :hug:

C x

 

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Blunt time.

Having things touch your lap does not make them contaminated. That is an OCD lie.

The wipes in the bin were not contaminated. That is an OCD lie.

No cleaning up was necessary after the bin tipped over. That was a compulsion and completely useless. 

OCD - 1, Dave - 0

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8 hours ago, BigDave said:

So in theory, there should be some really horrid stuff in there.

Not really.  The odds of there being some "really horrid stuff" in there is extremely low.  Was there some dirt and grime and even germs?  Yeah maybe.  But thats true of everyone around you.  The level of "clean" that you seem to think you are achieving is a myth.  You aren't creating a separation between contaminated and sterile here.  You are creating a separation between a little dirty and a little less dirty.  The biggest difference you are seeing is largely cosmetic.

 

8 hours ago, BigDave said:

The problem is now that I am not sure I have disinfected every area that the dirty wipes touched. In theory, after a day or so, all the wipes should have been dry anyway barring two or so but still, I feel rather gross thinking that these dirty wipes have spread all over the place.

No, the problem is that OCD is telling you that these things hitting the ground are a problem.  The reality is they really aren't.  The actual, practical impact on your health and cleanliness is minuscule from this.  Its something most people wouldn't even stop to think about.  You can get to that point too, but only if you start challenging these ideas that are stuck in your head that the "contamination" is real.
 

9 hours ago, BigDave said:

I think what I have to do now though is just to get on with things and accept that nothing bad is going to happen. Because it won't. So really it is just waiting it through but it really is freaking irritating and I am damn upset.

Thats exactly what you should do, and yes it will be upsetting.  If it wasn't there wouldn't be a problem to begin with.  If you want to quit smoking, you have to fight through the anxiety not giving in to smoking causes.  OCD recovery works much the same way.  Resisting the behaviors that reinforce the situation and pushing through the unfortunate feelings it causes.  Or you can think of it like exercise.  When you start, it hurts because you aren't in good shape.  If you push through that pain, you get to the point where what hurt before becomes easy.

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This all makes sense.

And now for an OCD question to you all.

I presume this is the case but you know I speak about my brother and his hygiene. He'll walk on dirty floors and this and that and the other day, he stood on a pillow, a dirty one. Now I accidentally lay on that pillow a few days later and then slept on my bed without really thinking. So consequently, I think that everything that I've lay on since now has been contaminated. I'm thinking though that is OCD thinking and I should literally touch my hair and touch everything and just be done with it because you can only die once? That's the right thing to do right? Well that's what I am going to do....I think.

 

Cheers,

David

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Literally things are going from bad to worse for me at the moment. I’m sure this COVID stuff is making it worse. I spent £7 on some new dusting brushes and then I think they may have touched my lap. Obviously now I can’t use them. I just feel like crying all the time. 

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Obviously, yes you can use them. What, did your lap come in contact with nuclear waste? Do you have an Ebola factory on your thighs? 

Come on, Dave. You know what this is.

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