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Chels

I can’t stop confessing!!!!

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I feel so guilty for my thoughts because I feel like I’m doing something wrong and I literally CAN NOT stop confessing! I feel myself slyly getting it in to the conversation without actually saying it! And I know exactly what I’m doing I literally can’t help myself it’s driving me insane! If I touch my genitals (not in a sexual way) just in general if I’m lying in bed or something, if I’ve scrolled past an image on social media of a guy it will stick in my head and I’ll convince myself I am doing it over that image! And I can’t not confess. I literally feel so sick of myself at the moment I just want to STOP!! It’s so much easier said than done I tell you! It’s difficult! My boyfriend can’t understand why I find it so hard not to! But to me it’s the most difficult thing ever! 😫. Please someone point me in the right direction of making me stop before I drive my boyfriend away forever 😪

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You stop by stopping. You can slow things down and you can stop. It will be an uphill battle because you keep doing it snd now it's ingrained.

Try delaying doing your compulsion. Tell yourself you won't confess for an hour. When the hour is up, reassess if you feel you need to do it. If so, go ahead. But if not, delay again.

Keep trying.

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Hi @Chels. I had confession OCD when I was a teenager and it was awful, I had to tell my parents anything I’d done that i felt might have been remotely wrong. I’d confess something then feel so relieved until an hour later something else popped into my head that I thought needed to be confessed. So I can truly sympathise with what you’re going through.

Like @PolarBear says though, the only way to get over it is to stop. At the time I didn’t have a clue it was OCD, and I really wish someone could have told me as it ate me up for years. You’ve got the benefit of that knowledge now, now it’s up to you to get yourself over this. It won’t be easy, as with any form of OCD. But you’ve got to have faith in yourself and be ok with sitting with the anxiety without confessing. You’ve already said you’re at risk of pushing your boyfriend away, so the rational part of your brain is already engaged and is telling you to stop. This will fade eventually, but you need to sit with the anxiety for a while to break the cycle.

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@Chels I relate to this a lot so can sympathise. I relied a lot when my sexuality OCD and relationship OCD started on telling my boyfriend as a way of alleviating how I felt. I didn't realise at the time that this was OCD type behaviour and I have also gone through many phases of my life when I've done the same with my parents about other concerns and thoughts - confessing to them.

I've tried my hardest to stop as I've come to realise that a) it's a compulsion and I'll only prolong the agony and b) I did start to feel guilty over sharing this stuff with my boyfriend and the thought of him having to hear what's going on in my head, even if it's not actually factual things.

It's hard though - I feel quite alone in that I can't really talk to anyone about what I'm feeling, but at the same time I guess that's the paradox if that I do talk to people (ie. my boyfriend) then it's a vicious circle. I don't know if anyone has any advice on that one.

Sorry if I've not been as helpful as other posters - reaching out moreso to say you're not alone in this and I hope that helps in some way. x

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I have to agree with Polar Bear. There is no halfway house when it comes to OCD. 
You stop by stopping. Best advice I’ve heard. Just stop.

We all come back with;

“what if” doesn’t matter, stop!

”does it mean I’m” doesn’t matter, stop!

Most posts on here are in essence reassurance seeking. If the person posting doesn’t agree with the response, which should always be, “it doesn’t matter, it’s ocd - stop”. 
They come back saying, “but” - “what if” - “I’m a monster” - “it can’t be ocd” - “I like it”.....

Its ocd folks. That’s all it is. The clue is in the forum name.

I suffer with it, read my posts, you can always tell when I’ve “spiked” and typed faster than I can think...... what I should be saying to myself is, stop! It’s ocd. That’s all.

 

Hope PB doesn’t mind me expanding on this?  Oh, and I’m not seeking reassurance. 😂
 

 

 

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@PolarBear it’s a lot easier said that done but it HAS to be done I don’t really have an option. My OCD has caused so many problem in previous relationships I need to change something otherwise I’m never going to be happy. Thank you I will try and am trying my hardest but it’s so difficult I think I will try your advice of leaving it for an hour and seeing if it still seems like such a big problem! Thank you 

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@Doubt_It hi and thanks so much for your reply. I was the same at a young age I confessed everything and I didn’t realise up until I was 19 that it was OCD I always thought I was just weird! But it all makes sense now. I just really struggled with confessing it’s such a Huge thing for me and I have always always sought reassurance throughout life so it’s getting out of that ! Thank you I’m going to try my hardest like I say I have no choice if I want to keep my boyfriend, I understand it must be terribly hard for him to hear the things I come out with. He can’t understand why I feel the need to tell him he thinks it should just be easy to keep it to myself because he can no problem but I can’t fully get him to understand how I feel inside x

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@cashewnutsandraisins hi and thank you, no you have helped and I appreciate your reply to me! I’m exactly the same I sort of tell him thoughts that pop into my mind and it’s not easy for me to say these out loud but he can’t understand why I can’t keep them to myself as he says it’s hurting him and I can understand it as id be the same but I feel so much guilt that I just feel myself coming out with things seeking reassurance. Those that don’t have OCD can’t get their heads around why it’s so hard for us to keep things to ourselves and not worry. It’s something that my current boyfriend really struggles to understand. It sounds like such a simple task ‘just keep it to yourself’ but it’s so difficult. Our head is such a scary place at times! I hope one day I can learn to control this. I am getting better as I get older but it does get hard :( xx

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@dimmerswitch hi thank you for your reply, no your totally right. I don’t even have any ifs or buts because I know it’s what I need to do if I want to move forward and unstick myself from this habit! It is so difficult and seems like a simple enough task but it’s hard! I have to be strong and keep implementing this and continue to put this in place. Thanks again everyone! Much appreciated

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It is hard. I’ve had nearly 30 years of this, so I don’t always take my own advice do I 😂

 

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Don't know if you mean the same as me but i have been incapable of lying for the last 20 years now. Its tiring when trying to just talk to people, especially those who are unfamiliar with it

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