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Delight

Pride

Yes.. OCD can manifest in every possible way you could imagine, and it morphs it's way of making you question yourself over time. I have had 'I'm going to do it' 'I want to do it' 'I need to do it' 'I must do it' 'the only way to stop these thoughts is to do it' (that was scary) 'I want this (insert bad thing) to happen' .... and many more just like this, ranging from the blatantly horrible, to the downright warped and bizarre. Whatever your going through now, it's all exactly the same as your previous troubling thoughts or ruminations, it's simply differing content. You get them because your scared of getting them and what you feel it means about you... it means nothing about you by the way, well.. it means you have OCD, and that's all it means.

I suffer with contamination OCD. I managed to start meds and have therapy which really helped but it’s been a year now and I’m beginning to struggle again. I have this issue where I’ll start cleaning and I just can’t stop. I can’t tell which parts are me being obsessive, and which are just me being hygienic. Today I had to skip lessons because I couldn’t stop cleaning. By the end of it, I feel awful and drained. I will start panicking from being overwhelmed with everything to do. My hands are dry and hurt. Something that would take someone without OCD half an hour ends up taking me 3 hours. How do I figure out the difference between cleaning obsessively and just cleaning?

Hi was was gonna start to do meditation to try clear my head little from all the thoughts wonder how people find this and if you guys know any good apps to uses thanks

Is there such a thing as intrusive questions/ questioning ? i am asking this as all the thoughts Ive had over many years has changed from what if I did this or that horrific thing that I would never do or want to do, to would you ever think , want, wish, pray for those horrific things to happen, which of course I never would and I know it sounds ridiculous but the words just keep popping into my head, then I find myself sitting in the bathroom screaming out at the OCD monster in my head No, No I wouldn't ,, leave me alone. has anyone had anything similar?

I am struggling to let something someone said go. Its getting me down because it has triggered my ocd theme all around my character. ive been battling to refocus, let it go its been a few weeks now and i hate that i keep falling it ocd traps. Logically i know opions are not factual but based on perspective but i cant sake it off. Its like i will know this is my ocd then it shifts i feel a little better then i will hear his opinion like the ocd doubt. I cant wait until it shifts i am seeking reaasurance from others and googling compulsions. I need to get back to work and refocus its a difficult disorder at times i for a lift and a break.

I think you've put your finger on the exact crux of the problem: It is never possible to be sure that the fear is unfounded. If it were there would be no such thing as OCD. It would be trivial to stop avoiding a danger you knew to be non-existent. Usually it isn't entirely unfounded anyway. Most people with OCD seem to fear real dangers, but disproportionately. Like there is a real risk of getting ill from bacteria on your hands but it is relatively small compared to all the other unavoidable risks you have to take every day. Human intuition about relative probabilities is really poor, even in people without OCD, so the uncertainty is normal. It only becomes a big problem when it gets mixed up with so much fear that you can't accept it. I don't think anyone else is going to be able to give you the certainly you are looking for. I sometimes fantasise finding an expert in toxicology, neurology, psychology etc. to decide for me what is safe. It doubt it would work though. There would always be the possibility I had miscommunicated or forgotten to mention something vital, and there is a constant supply of new dangers to worry about.

Hello everyone, I am 29 years old woman and I am in a relationship with my 26 years old boyfriend since two years and a half. I suffer from OCD since I can remember. I had harm OCD. I had P OCD, I had relationship OCD, I had self harm OCD. I've always suffered and over analysed every thought, every experience and everything that l've went through in my life. Now, I experienced something with my boyfriend, that is making me think all the time that maybe I was sexually abused by him, even though I know that it actually didn't happen, but you know when OCD kicks in, it just makes you very sure that what you're thinking, actually is what happened. Maybe you can help me, I know that this is seeking reassurance, and I know that this is not gonna take me far but I just need an opinion on this. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend initiated sex with me. It's important to say, that we We don't have any safe words or anything like this during sex, because if one of us says that we are not in the mood or says no, we immediately stop and it was always like this. However, my boyfriend initiated sex and I was not super in the mood. He started kissing me all over my body and I tried to get into the mood, but since I was not, of course, I was super dry down there. I didn't say no or stop, because I normally get in the mood during sex. And sometimes I also just go through with the sex and act like l'm into it because I like to do something nice for my boyfriend. My boyfriend is very nice during sex. He always ask me if he's hurting me, if I'm fine, if we have to stop, and if everything is alright. he's always super respectful and attentive. However, the day I was very dry and when he tried to put in his P**** of course it was sort of a barrier because he had to push a bit more in order to get in. I still didn't say no or asked him to stop. But i was super uncomfortable and I felt a bit violated in that moment, ~ . didn't say anything. My boyfriend noticed that I was quiet and not reacting and he asked me "are you okay? You didn't want me to do it?" But I said „yes babe, continue i'm fine" Then I acted I felt like enjoying it until he came. Afterwards i felt totally lost and bad cause i felt violate cause he didn't notice i was dry. However i got eventua. over it and we did it multiple times and i was happy and without any negative thoughts but now again my mind is telling me „He is bad, he assaulted you" I tried to talk to him and he was devastated. He said „i would never hurt u or violate your boundaries." We are always honest to each other and if we dont feel like it we don't do it. He never pushed me. And I know cause he never really did but my brain is convincing me its all a lie ???? I just want to die cause i love him so much but my brain tells me I shouldn't cause he is a bad person Please any help?

That sounds very familiar. I am feeling the just same at the moment about breathing smoke coming in the bathroom window while washing my hands yesterday. I don't think there is much you can do after one of these attacks except avoid things which will make it worse (like frantic googling, or checking yourself for symptoms). Sometimes it helps to find something different to get involved in. Like if I can't face studying because it feels like my brain isn't working any more, I read about something completely unrelated and if I can get interested in that the dread seems to recede.

People are different. What is tolerable or even desirable to one person can be unbearable to another. One person might be quite content living on a traffic island so long as they had company, while another can go weeks without speaking to anyone so long as they have a garden to walk in. Modern towns can be pretty hostile places. They are full of noise and exhaust fumes. Some people can learn to live with it but I don't think everyone should be made to. I tried to live in Birmingham and couldn't stand it. I had to return to the house I left because it seemed intolerably contaminated. The trouble now is everywhere is turning into a town. Each year there are more housing estates and more cars on the road. I live in a village but the place keeps getting bigger and bigger. We had town pigeons appear for the first time three years ago. You see tiny hamlets with traffic jams of Range Rovers running through them. @jo5: I can only suggest that the unsatisfactory solutions you are being offered are not permanent. Moving doesn't stop you moving again when you find a better alternative. You can easily stop claiming benefits if you manage to secure another source of income. OCD isn't permanent either, thought it seems to be when it is at its worst. I have often noticed when things change in a way I find intolerable, there is a very difficult period of adjustment but then things gradually become manageable. It's a combination of habituation to the new source of stress and learning ways to live around it. The latter isn't helpful for actually getting rid of the OCD, but it does mean the situation is never as bad as it first appears. We are all far more adaptable than we think. I don't know what to say about the housing problem. I don't like where I live. The roads are horrible and there is a constantly smoky chimney just opposite, but there is at least a nice garden to look at on. I can see blossom trees from my window, and blackbirds feeding their chicks. It makes the pollution and the daily stress more bearable.

I think children are incredibly smart and one approach as well as what snowbear suggests could be; just be honest with your children. Explain that your wife has started to get over anxious about germs and contamination. I'm sure they will be aware of this and may be even be joining in to support and reassure her. So rather than trying to protect your children from wife's anxiety about germs, ask them to help you to try and help your wife. So for example with the trainers/ i pad, explain to your children that it would help your wife if your eldest child wore the trainers and used the i pad. That by doing that they would help your wife realise that nothing bad happened and no one got ill because they acted normally. (In reality we need a certain amount of exposure to germs because that helps strengthen our immune systems, but I'm not sure if they are old enough to grasp that yet).

As someone whos been on OCD forums for like 3 years, everyone here has heard absolutely everything, and no one is judgemental, there is no end to how vulgar or scary OCD can be. Everyone here is here to listen and support

Hi David, This must be very distressing for you. Sadly it's not uncommon for parents with OCD to be in denial that their children are being adversely affected. Happily, as the non-OCD parent there are things you can do to limit the damage. I'll warn you upfront that your partner won't like it - but for the children's wellbeing it's important to stand up to the OCD as earlier as possible and not to be dissuaded from that by pleas and threats from a distressed partner. You need to tell your wife what you are going to do first and ask if she wants to be there or not. Remember, it's not about whether she wants this to happen or not - just whether she wants to be there. Then you need to sit down with the children and explain that mum is not well. That she sometimes thinks things aren't safe to touch when they are, and that sometimes she behaves as she does because she's not well. Give examples of the trainers, ipad and post. You might like to have those items present at the talk and demonstrate that dad isn't concerned by touching them, even touching them to your face or touching your face and clothes all over after touching the post, trainers etc. Do it with a smile. Show them that there is nothing to be scared of. Tell them that mum may act scared of these things while she is ill, but that mum won't be scared of them either when she is well again. Tell them that if they aren't sure if something is safe to touch because mum avoids it, they can ask dad. And after the talk if you see any avoidance or OCD behaviours in the kids, tackle it head on there and then. Keep it simple and light. Are you scared to touch that? Shall we touch it now together, so you know it's ok to touch it? And then do so. If they get distressed then you'll have to accept they have started thinking in an OCD way themselves and are no longer just copying mum. Don't force them. It's about choosing the right way to behave because they understand for themselves there is no threat. Any OCD behaviours that persist in spite of your reassurance and demos will need to be sorted as a separate issue, same as you would if the child presented with OCD themselves. (There are books for parents and the charity runs support groups for families. We can put you in touch with them if needed.) Expect some kickback and resistance from your wife. Her denial that the kids are affected is how she squares it with herself to keep behaving as she does. At some level she'll be aware of how it affects them, and likely feeling a lot of guilt and shame which only adds to the burden OCD places on her. So you'll want to be honest with her and say the kids mental health has to come first, but that you know it's also not easy for her and you'll be there to support her too. But you can no longer stand by and allow OCD to destroy the family. Make it clear that the enemy here is the OCD, and you, your wife and the kids are fighting it together. This isn't family versus mum. Mum is not her OCD. What help has your wife had with her OCD? How much insight do you feel she has at present and would she be willing to engage with a therapist to get to a better place? Let us know how these initial steps go, and if you have any further questions just ask.

Hi. My wife is suffering with OCD quite badly. For example saucepans that were used to bring hot water upstairs to the bathroom when the boiler broke can no longer be used for cooking. My kids are 10 and 8. My oldest is a SEN student. My eldest is scared to touch post because my wife is. She's scared of a particular pair of trainers because my wife is. She was scared to touch her I pad for 4 weeks because she didn't wash her hands properly. This all stems from my wifes behaviour. It is terrifying me. I have asked my wife whether she realises that her ocd is affecting the kids and she denies it. Any advice would be greatly received. thankyou

Yes I do like the Unthanks, simple and complex with the voices harmonising and also being able to hear their accents. I'm glad I guessed the band, it was sort of whirring away somewhere in the back of my mind and yes they produced some good music. I think it was the BFI archive they got to raid for samples. I like it that young fans now get to hear about Gargarin and Spitfires and all the other historical events they reference. Samples of astro/cosmonauts are common. As I'm sure you know; some of the early pioneers of electronic sounds were Delia Derbyshire at the BBC and Daphne Oram. How British is this>

^I particularly like the first photograph, it really captures the space. A sort of majesty. Looking at the roof and knowing the Normans were originally Vikings, it looks like the inside of one of their boats. (my ancestors were Normans, they had a big influence here and in France).

Yes I think a large part of managing ocd is keeping our stress levels low. I had a quick research and you'll be okay(unless you're an antonly joking of course). It only causes minor problems if you ingest a fair amount and any you breathed in will naturally be expelled by your body.

Loved this and then watched Stomp live Part 1 - Brooms - very clever and accomplished - brilliant. Am currently watching Part 2 - matchsticks! I suppose that's called performance music?

Yeah, thanks Howard. I was just looking through some old tickets and found another one for Martha Tilston. Actually, I've just remembered that a few years ago I saw the Unthanks (you mentioned them) do the poems of Molly Drake. They had set them to some wonderful music and Gabrielle Drake (actress and Nick's sister) was there speaking the words of her mother Molly in her beautiful voice. They have an album called Diversions and this below is the first track off it. Yes, it was Public Service Broadcasting – well done! I'll have to listen again to them.

My mindset is different to yours. I have lived in places which would be intolerable to you. Places without gardens in inner city areas. Friends have had places above betting shops, restaurants and chicken and chips shops. Also I have seen doctors for mental health problems and at times have received money from the DWP. I have even received therapy. I do now live in place with a garden with bees and birds and the trees are now showing leaves. It’s great the fresh smell. The lack of noise. In control of my own space without the unsocial intrusion of neighbours with their noise. The thud of stereos. The rat and mice infestations from neighbours in the terrace. The lack of communal maintenance unless I arrange it and having to deal with the hassle of non payment from co-occupiers. It is pleasant living in a pleasant space. But millions don’t. You say ‘I went and looked at’ supported living places. So you can escape from your self imposed house arrest. Build upon this. You have been very lucky. So what are you going to do. For me I would change my mindset.

Rainbow

Colour

Red

I think that's the one where she goes round the streets on the back of a truck with a loudspeaker calling out "pull yourself together!" – It's priceless. A pictorial record would be fantastic for yourself and your psych for if you didn't have the words, or even if you did, as a record. But the thought of the DWP .........ha ha!