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I have got some challenges coming up. The reason I'm very wary of toxic chemicals and substances is I used to work as an analytical chemist and about 20% of the work involved determining if samples, including air samples with asbestos fibres, were reaching harmful to humans levels. I'm having a new kitchen fitted but the team that do that won't touch it until another specialist team have been in and removed all the asbestos. This is the high risk old asbestos sheeting that I've been very careful to keep sealed away and not touch. I really would like to go away while that is done but that means leaving my keys with the contractors. It seems that the council have decided to remove anything containing asbestos even the low risk stuff in my bathroom. So I will get to talk to two specialist surveyors who will examine both rooms, will have the latest information and then two different specialist teams will carry out the work. I imagine they will do a good clean up but I can also see me in a mask and overalls having to really do a deep clean. I also spoke to an advisor about having a CT scan of my lungs as part of the screening programme. One of the questions for eligibility, 'have you ever come into contact with any asbestos?'. I know it's a good idea to have the CT scan as early diagnosis gives me a best chance with treatment, but it also means more radiation blasts. I can feel my anxiety about both scenarios growing but know also that it's better to get both things done in the long run.

@Handy So it sounds like ocpd is more embedded if it's part of a person's personality and although I'm not keen on labels it does sound more like my personality. And I don't see; perfectionism, order, cleanliness as a problem. Perfectionism only become a problem when I expect others to attempt it. Thanks Handy, I'll have to look into this more, it could explain why I don't see my personality traits as a problem (as long as they don't get out of control-some irony there) but as something I work with rather than fight against or aiming for something called 'normal'. But like you say there is some possible overlap and treatments are the same.

Spring around here in the communal garden has been particularly beautiful this year and I'm getting interested in painting flowers in watercolour so they stand out more. You're so lucky you could escape – thank goodness you did, and you have your own family too. Freedom and choice means so very much. I definitely identify with the localised control bit myself. Trying to cushion and comfort myself whilst everything else was out of control. I like the Tibetan singing bowls – very soothing.

It's also about education. Arthritis occurs in young dogs too. So, is not an indication of age.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) are often confused due to their similar names, but they are actually distinct conditions. Here's a breakdown of the key differences: **Focus:** * **OCD:** Characterized by intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that trigger repetitive behaviors (compulsions) to manage anxiety. These obsessions can be about anything, from contamination fears to needing things to be perfectly symmetrical. * **OCPD:** Involves rigid personality traits centered around perfectionism, orderliness, and control. People with OCPD may have a strong desire for things to be done a certain way and become very distressed if things deviate from their expectations. **Distress:** * **OCD:** People with OCD often find their obsessions and compulsions distressing and disruptive to their daily lives. They may recognize these behaviors as excessive but feel powerless to resist them. * **OCPD:** Individuals with OCPD typically don't see their traits as problematic and may even find comfort in their rigid routines. They might view their behaviors as simply being organized and detail-oriented. **Insight:** * **OCD:** People with OCD often have some awareness that their thoughts and behaviors are irrational. This can motivate them to seek treatment. * **OCPD:** Those with OCPD often lack insight into how their personality traits affect themselves and others. They may resist seeking help because they don't believe they need it. **Co-occurrence:** * It's possible to have both OCD and OCPD.

ok I think I exaggerated again I didn't mean to...it's not certain death if I don't do something but someone I don't know is suffering badly emotionally and I feel like if I don't help them I'm a bad person

Potatoes

Sorry I just saw this now. But, I’m not chasing now. I’m letting this friend reach out to me if they want to replan, but @snowbear someone else who’s good with me on this told me that it’s probably not good to focus that this friend and everyone else if they cancel and don’t get right back to me when I expect to replan and only talk about other things. It’s not good to immediately focus that they are absolutely out to mentally hurt me to not want to do anything with me and not tell me and it’s not good to think they’ll do it and all others would do it, even if I accept it as that bc of what the one from years ago with the CP did to me

I guess messed up emotionally is sorta an exaggeration, I mean that if it was too much for me it'd shake me up and leave me miserable for a day or two, but I'd recover. But I think that the harm I think would happen if I did nothing is way way worse than the harm I'd have to take, so I feel it'd be selfish of me to not do anything?

What a lovely post to read... Well done Summer...

Well done! Excellent idea. Build your self-confidence by remembering these kind of achievements.

If something you're planning to do would mess you up emotionally then whatever it is is going against your core values. Therefore you'd be wise not to do it, regardless of any pressure you feel to conform, or any guily feelinga about having to do your duty.

I agree with this, KC. Try to chill out and not apply past experiences to the present.

Many, many sufferers report that real life stress worsens their OCD symptoms. It sure did for me.

Roast

Yes but I have the same ocd obsessions with cleaning and contamination, but as I say it's a matter of degree. Three hours for one room is too much and particularly if the OP(and I don't know this) is spending that long because she is cleaning the same things repeatedly. Its usually when I'm stressed that I go over the top.(something I must look into, relatonship between stress-cortisol levels - anxiety).

The difference, howard, is that you likely get a sense of satisfaction from your cleaning and order, while any satisfaction for an OCD sufferer is fleeting. Soon obsessions arise and what was done is no longer good enough.

I think that's the standard ocd response but I disagree. Cleaning, organizing and symmetry whether it's in our local environment or in our lives generally can make us feel comfortable. It's all a matter of degree. The OP's three hour sessions are probably too much but it depends on factors like size of property, amount of possessions, state of cleanliness, etc. I can pretty much deep clean a normal sized room in about an hour and being organised and having some symmetry makes me feel comfortable long term.

Actually one of my concerns about smartphones is that they lead to a sort of dependency(I still haven't put a sim in mine, my internet landline seems to collect scammer calls and I use my old mobile to ring/text people for meet up). @Kcbell92 I think in your first paragraph you are almost getting it right, but you don't need to take an all or nothing approach with friends,> 'if they don’t come through the second time if it’s planned, that’s when I’ll straight out just end the connection with them and won’t do anything more with them'. Just as you say be more relaxed about it. You can't control what other people do and what they do may be no reflection on you at all. When I said try to see things from other people's perspectives, I of course meant from your friends perspectives. The more chilled out you are the less they will see your apparent dependency as a responsibility that they need to make up an excuse to get out of.

Thanks fr replying it’s so exhausting isn’t it it takes over your days and your right it is just taking away the time we should be enjoying buts it’s so hard to ignore and the anxiety/ guilt when u do ignore it is the worst i hope you and your dog are ok it’s nice to know I’m not alone or going crazy I’ve been like this since I was a child not always so bad I just thought I’d have grown out of it by now I’m 38 but it feels worse than ever

BBQ

Bless you, dogs are wonderful, aren't they? Your therapist is right, of course. Your dog won't be with you forever and that's just a fact, as unfair as it is. I wonder if it will help to frame it like this? : when the time comes for your girl to move on, would you rather be able to think back of the lovely time you had with her during her last few years, or realise that you spent them worrying so much about the inevitable that you didn't get the chance to really treasure that time with her? The best way you can take care of her is to take care of your own physical and mental health so you can be there for whatever she needs. Dogs are very sensitive to their owner's anxiety too, so maybe you can remind yourself that working on your anxiety will be to her benefit too. Pets are so special, and our time with them is so special especially because it is limited. I can really tell how much you love her, and if nothing else, you can take heart in the fact that she will know your love for the rest of her days, however many there may be.

Thank you for your replies I have probably had my worse OCD flare up over this issue, compounded I think by no solid sleep for 3 weeks Your definitely right about anticipated grief it's wear im stuck. I spoke to my therapist today and she said you're trying to control the one big thing you can't - death and I know that's true. Managed to get some sleeping tablets from the doctor, hopefully sleep eat exercise and rest and start using my OCD toolkit again My dog however is just the same and enjoying life and snoozing as dogs do

I had this exact OCD thread when I was younger before I knew what OCD was. I'd use to have to pray everyday otherwise my grandparents will die. As I got older my complusions turned to googling and mental checking They eventually died of old age but by then I knew that not saying a prayer killed them - I just don't have that power Death is the ultimate thing we can't control and that's why OCD loves it so much. Turns our love for family and friends against us to attempt to create a certainly we cannot have The only thing that the complusions do is take time away from enjoying your life and possibly spending it with people you care about The way through is stopping or minimising the complusions. It will get worse before it gets back. Like trying to detox from cigarettes or booze. I'm having a relaspe at the moment because of my elderly dog I think I've Googled for about 36 hours it's exhausting I feel your pain

That is amazing! Well done you! This is actually really inspirational to me - and I know exactly how it is when OCD tries to undermine you after an exposure, like it doesn't count! Complete rubbish, just like everything else it says. Anyway, maybe you can print off this post and keep it somewhere to remind yourself what you're capable of when you're struggling. Just an idea, it would be what I would do. Take it a little easier for the rest of the week if you need to, but don't lose the momentum either!