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Rarity

Bulletin Board User
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About Rarity

  • Birthday 22/09/1988

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    In recovery

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
    Denmark
  • Interests
    science, technology, video games, history, nature

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  1. Well I would too suggest trying to complete your degree as it will provide you with a lot of opportunities even outside the topic of law. But since university is causing you to feel exhausted and even relapsing I would also suggest prioritizing meaningful activities a lot and maybe not going for the highest of grades! Maybe you can find a balance in it somehow. And maybe later on you can go for another field of studying. Is it a bachelors degree or masters? If it is a BA then you could go for a different MA/MSc which is compatible with your BA ? (for example I have an MA in history but I am currently taking an MSc in data science!). When did you start to feel that law was not interesting anymore? The reason I am asking is just to make sure that it is not a potential depression causing you to lose interest in your studies and hobbies ? But I understand that it is more the other way around. Soo my advices to hang in and maybe find an area of law you find most interesting and write your thesis about it and really put some effort in your other interests/hobbies. I hope that you will find a balance!
  2. I totally understand this is a really hard decision to make. ? And the worst part is that only you can make the decision. Maybe you should ask yourself: "Do I see myself living where I live now in 10 years?". I mean you mentioned there are some issues with your current location in regard to noise etc. But if you like it where you live now despite those problems it doesn't matter what others think. The good thing is that today your choice must me made and sometimes we just have to make such choices even though they seem impossible. Not matter what you do you may end up seeing benefits from it! So there is no "wrong" choice. That is how life is I guess! Sometimes we just have to "toss a coin" mentally. When we have OCD we don't like that we must do that because we are afraid of the outcome. But nevertheless it is an inevitable part of our lives.
  3. Hey Julie and thanks for posting ? I find your post really interesting because I believe this thing about decision making issues is quite an overlooked topic in regard to OCD. But there is no doubt that it is an important part of the emotional response to OCD urges and the choices we make. The thing is I really used to have this problem that I couldn't take a single choice! I had to redo everything and then go back and do it the first way once more. This is all a part of the OCD cycle I am sure. OCD makes you believe you don't know what you want! So here it is important to follow the rational approach. Soo.. How did you initially feel in your guts? Do you really love where you live now? Or are you afraid of making the change? I mean.. why did you think about moving in the first place? Is it possible that all the way deep down you really feel like moving even further away from where you live now and try something totally new and "dangerous"? Maybe I am just confusing you even more! But I felt the same way about choices I had to make. And you know what? I just made the choice and had to stick with it. Because both choices could be beneficial in their own way. So my advice would be to go for it!! Try being a bit crazy and take the chance because we only live once! OR you could flip a coin and let that decide the outcome ? I hope I could help you in some way with my weird reply! ?
  4. Gosh @snowbear I am really sorry that I did not see your reply until now!! I mean that is really really late but somehow I missed the reply. Thanks a lot for your insightful response! It all really makes sense now you explained it in regard to nature. And to be honest I believe I am actually learning to see things that way instead of the typical "perfectionist" way. I am getting much better at it. And I noticed that I accomplish things much more effectively this way. I guess that is because of the way nature works. For a long time I have been in this constant search for the "final result" in regard to my life. Which was totally wrong because life is so much more than that. We are all in our own personal evolutional process! Yay Your reply is really awesome and I will keep going back to it whenever I need to revise it if I forget this way of seeing things Thanks again!
  5. @Slowcoach thanks very much for your interesting reply with your example. I am very sure your dad did suffer from OCD because his perfectionism was related to great amounts of tension and possibly even anxiety. It is also interesting that you mention drinking as a comorbidity because I have been using alcohol in the past to help myself cope with my OCD and perfectionism. I am 31 now BTW. It has been years since I used alcohol in such a manner and I totally agree that it is such a dangerous path to choose. I hope you manage to keep it at bay! ? Also, kudos to you for your great effort and even getting through such a difficult period with your OCD related to perfectionism. So how is everything going at the moment? Thanks for your story and advice!
  6. @Nikki79 I am really sorry I haven't seen your message before now. I have had quite a rough time here. So how did everything turn out? Be aware that sometimes you can be assigned to certain medications which were intended for other use. However, they still can be used on OCD. I experienced that before. But always good to check up on it ?
  7. Thank you so much for your insightful reply, @UpsAndDowns. We sound like we are much alike! I guess you are totally right. Exposure is the only way forward although it may sometimes be good to know the reason. I do fail a lot at it and sometimes make compulsions. I really know what you mean by the "feels" right situation. There are things I don't like doing under certain circumstances. But I guess our task is to do it anyway I guess and habituate to that feeling of distress? What we need to accept is the learning curve. We must accept that we are evolving over time. And even though we are good at something there is always the possibility of imperfections and nothing is wrong with that I guess. But it surely is difficult! I also like your statement that we made the rules and therefore we can change them again. ? Your advice are most appreciated and I will definitely get back to them now and then whenever I need to catch up on it. Thanks guys for your replies! ? PS. you are always welcome to message me!
  8. Thanks for your helpful advice on this matter, @angels and @PolarBear. You are right, that the reason for this "topic" could simply be that studying is what is important right now. Fortunately, I do get better at recognizing symptoms of compulsions and get by using the knowledge I have gained during the years with OCD ? I will try to be more present in what is happening and avoiding stepping into the compulsion trap once again. I guess this is about eliminating those compulsions and that is what matters. I also noticed that the "topics" can be everything but it is always related to some imperfection/flaw/error that I can't tolerate and then it becomes "stuck" in my mind and all I can do is obsess about that imperfection which causes me a great deal of anxiety and depression. Actually this specific "phobia" can be related to everything I am doing which is important "at the moment". I do compulsions to avoid imperfection in all possible areas. An example is BDD-related issues with selfies/social media culture. I used to have other types of compulsions related to other things than perfectionism but I believe I eliminated most of them and this is what is still left. It is the top of the mountain I am climbing! I will now focus on this last area of my OCD because it is keeping my disorder alive. For that, I am going to use ERP and screw up some things! ? Thanks again for your kind advice.
  9. Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't really posted anything lately because of my busy studies. However, I would like to share a few advice regarding recovery so far as well as ask for advice on some matters. I have suffered from OCD for about 15-20 years. However, in varying degrees and in such a way that I have been able to achieve some of my personal goals which helped me stay on track. I found out that what really helps me are the methods from CBT as well as implementing the mindset from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I am getting much better at Exposure and Response Prevention and one of my latest breakthroughs: Getting back on track quickly whenever I get some sort of "breakdown" from taking the "wrong" decision regarding compulsions. I realised that it is impossible to completely avoid compuslions when you are used to them for 20 years. However, I do manage to get rid of more and more of my old compusions. And it made a lot of difference to me to finally accept the fact that you can always continue following your path in accordance with your values even though you made a mistake regarding compulsions. However, I do have some persistent areas of avoidance and compulsive behavior which are still causing me a lot of problems, sometimes interrupting my everyday life. I found out that perfectionism is the core issue for me and the part that is causing me the most suffering. I simply can't accept making errors and assignments that have flaws and imperfections. Which is a hard thing to avoid as a student at university. If I have to hand in something during an exam which is far from perfect but still well enough to pass, I am troubled by those imperfections for months afterwards. My worries even keep me from certain tasks (procrastination). How can it be that this particular subject is still causing my so much pain? I have the feeling that I am not fully understanding the mechanics behind this phobia of imperfection and that this may be the reason for the persistence of this topic. Any advice regarding my perfectionism? Should I just keep moving straight on with exposure or should I do more to uncover the "truth" behind my fear of imperfection? Thanks in advance and I apologise for my block of text! ?
  10. I dont' at all want to scare you from trying Anafranil but I do remember having quite some weird side effects from it back when I tried it. Specifically I remember having trouble feeling my legs. However, it could have been some weird thing I imagined back then. I did stop using it though. But yes, you must be sure to get ECG's regularly because tricyclic antidepressant tend to have more side effects. I hope you will have benefits from your new medication ?
  11. First of all, I really appreciate your insights on this matter! It is a relief to hear that I am not the only one thinking that it is not all that helpful to hear that you can't do something about your issues simply because you are unable to uncover this "root problem". And I totally agree. Even though we may find out about the origin og our sufferings, I believe it wouldn't really do much for is regarding the compulsive behavior itself. I see this as a problem that has grown on its own during the years and I think it is somehow a problem in itself! I totally believe that the solution is to face the problem here and now. I somehow made a mistake in my description because I forgot the distinction between CBT and ERP (which is a part of CBT) ? Fortunately, I did learn a lot of useful methods and insights from CBT in general. But now that I look back on my progress through therapy I actually do believe I could use a brush up on some aspects of CBT. Thanks for reminding me about the B/C ratio! ? Wow, the internet surely is confusing whenever you are searching for new methods and perspectives on OCD and anxiety treatment. I will stick with my existing methods that are working well and practice more CBT in addition to that. Thanks again ?
  12. Hello out there! Well, I guess I have a question and a concern which is bothering me. And I would love to hear your opinion about it ? I have been suffering from OCD since 2007. It evolved gradually in the 2000s and I believe it peaked around 2017. That was the time I decided to really do something about it as it was completely ruining my life and career at that time. With the help of my psychologist and by using methods from ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) I succeded in treating it and claiming my life back (to a certain degree at least!). I believe ERP and ACT are the solutions for me personally because I experience very positive outcomes from those treatments. Something ten years of medication was unable to do for me. That said, I still experience some fallbacks and serious challenges. Today I am functioning quite well and I am back at university finishing my masters degree and I even manage to maintain my job at the department of science along with my studies there. However, I am still bothered a lot by OCD, mostly in relation to shame and perfectionism. Then, yesterday, I watched a video about recovering from anxiety. In this video, it was stressed that in order to reach full recovery, one must uncover the true reason for ones anxiety. This was described as "the root of the problem" and that it had to be solved in order to get any further. This concerns me because I have tried everything to search for a potential issue, without any luck. I even tried hypnotherapy ? Could this really mean that I can not succeed by using ERP and ACT alone? This made me quite concerned as I practice this on a daily basis! ? I would love to hear your opinion on this matter. Thanks in advance (and for reading my story)!
  13. I totally know how you feel regarding the Corona crisis and isolation. It is totally natural that we feel worse during these times. However, I do have an advice for succeeding with ERP. For me, the inclusion of ACT methods were important in order to "empower" and apply ERP methods in a much broader perspective. I highly recommend checking out the book "You are not a Rock" by Mark Freeman. Also, check out his YouTube channel :) Whenever I have periods of my life where I really succeed in applying ERP is when I commit to living my life and following my goals. Otherwise, it is impossible for me to achieve the benefits of ERP.
  14. I believe the answer isn't that simple. Because dreams will change over time ? They are not stationary. They will move as you evolve. it is a great thing to have dreams that can help us navigate and maybe you will end up the place you wished for. But a lot of details will change during that journey towards it Hope it makes sense!
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