Ocd contaminated cupboard help

[Guest Phil10]

What can I do I believe the letter box is dirty and the book feels dirty and I’ve had to wash my hands if I replaced the door I wouldn’t suffer like this 

[bobfish]

4 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

What can I do I believe the letter box is dirty and the book feels dirty and I’ve had to wash my hands if I replaced the door I wouldn’t suffer like this 

OK, so you touched something that came in the letter box - well done! Not only that, but you then touched other things in your house even though you worried about contamination - well done again!

Now you have to make sure you don't reverse anything and you resist all your compulsions. That means not replacing anything that you feel may be contaminated. It's OK that you've washed your hands, even though it was a compulsion - you can't (and probably shouldn't) do everything all at once.

How are you feeling now, Phil? How would you rate your anxiety out of 10? If it's quite high right now, then you have to understand that that's completely normal when you first stop performing your compulsions. You have to keep going - don't do what you did before and give up after just one day. In my case, it took literally months before I noticed a significant improvement. But you have to be prepared to work through the pain.

Yes, I know you're probably feeling very miserable right now, but trust me, it's worth it. Recovering from OCD is not easy, and you need to understand that sacrificing short-term relief for long-term improvement is essential.

[Guest Phil10]

2 minutes ago, bobfish said:

OK, so you touched something that came in the letter box - well done! Not only that, but you then touched other things in your house even though you worried about contamination - well done again!

Now you have to make sure you don't reverse anything and you resist all your compulsions. That means not replacing anything that you feel may be contaminated. It's OK that you've washed your hands, even though it was a compulsion - you can't (and probably shouldn't) do everything all at once.

How are you feeling now, Phil? How would you rate your anxiety out of 10? If it's quite high right now, then you have to understand that that's completely normal when you first stop performing your compulsions. You have to keep going - don't do what you did before and give up after just one day. In my case, it took literally months before I noticed a significant improvement. But you have to be prepared to work through the pain.

Yes, I know you're probably feeling very miserable right now, but trust me, it's worth it. Recovering from OCD is not easy, and you need to understand that sacrificing short-term relief for long-term improvement is essential.

How do I feel about 10/10 anxiety right now. Problem is new front doors are expensive but basically I feel I need a new house again. I had a similar worry to this in my old house the window fitter touched the wash basket I washed my hands every day for a year until I moved so issue was it never got better new windows would have cost a few grand and it would have been mad to replace new windows with new windows? So I washed my hands that’s the ocd At it’s worst but I got angry in my head that the window fitter touched the basket so I worried all year and my life was hell.

I have ocd worries I forget about after a few days but issues like letter box and cupboard are a different level of ocd. It’s strange some of my worries just pass yet some stick around why is this? I blocked my toilet in this house and binned the plunger but I don’t worry anymore. It’s only been a week since the letter box. In this thread some of the worries I forgot about but the original thread was about the cupboard I still FEAR the cupboard and don’t touch that space so the ocd wins I can’t replace a cupboard can I? That would involve rebuilding the house 

[Guest Phil10]

How can anybody reassure me blocked toilet germs are safe and ok? 

But yes the envolope maybe never hit the bin but I have had these toilet germs worries for ages like at work I blocked toilets I won’t buy out the shop as the cleaner mops the floor and I worry she uses same mop as bathroom 

[bobfish]

20 minutes ago, Phil10 said:

How can anybody reassure me blocked toilet germs are safe and ok? 

But yes the envolope maybe never hit the bin but I have had these toilet germs worries for ages like at work I blocked toilets I won’t buy out the shop as the cleaner mops the floor and I worry she uses same mop as bathroom 

I mean, there's faecal matter literally everywhere. Have you ever gotten sick from your blocked toilet in the past?  I won't respond in any more detail because I don't want to give you too much reassurance. But you need to start recognising that your OCD is making you think there's a danger when in reality it doesn't exist.

Quote

I still FEAR the cupboard and don’t touch that space so the ocd wins I can’t replace a cupboard can I? 

The OCD is only 'winning' because you're giving into it. You could combat it by deliberately touching the cupboard and then sitting with the anxiety until it drops. That's the way to learn that there's nothing wrong with your cupboard and you don't need it replaced.

[PolarBear]

We are not going to reassure you. That would be us giving in to a compulsion. You need to learn to live with the possibility that the envelope was in a dirt bin.

The rest of us do. No one knows wxactly where all their mail was on the journey to our homes. None of us. And we are okay with that. You are not because you have OCD.

Your brain is lying to you when it says there is a major problem.

[Guest Phil10]

2 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

We are not going to reassure you. That would be us giving in to a compulsion. You need to learn to live with the possibility that the envelope was in a dirt bin.

The rest of us do. No one knows wxactly where all their mail was on the journey to our homes. None of us. And we are okay with that. You are not because you have OCD.

Your brain is lying to you when it says there is a major problem.

Yes but not knowing where stuff has been or where it has been before doesn’t bother me really or what happened in this house before. My mind is only focused on what happened in my head in this scenario I don’t even know for sure it happened. The only proof I have is the envelope wasn’t dirty in appearance that’s my only proof.

I don’t worry about getting sick I worry I’m touching a book that has come Into contact with toilet germs my head says if I got the book from the shop it would highly unlikely have toilet germs. 

[PolarBear]

And as i said, your mind is lying to you. It is incredibly unlikely that the door slot is contaminated with toilet germs, let alone the book. 

But even if there were a few toilet germs around, so what? It's just not a big deal to the vast majority of people.

[Guest Phil10]

5 hours ago, PolarBear said:

And as i said, your mind is lying to you. It is incredibly unlikely that the door slot is contaminated with toilet germs, let alone the book. 

But even if there were a few toilet germs around, so what? It's just not a big deal to the vast majority of people.

I’m glad others think these germs are ok because I don’t. I don’t know why I just don’t like it in the same way I hate thunder storm. It makes me uneasy, I get intrusive thoughts and I think how other people’s houses are more clean. Yes there’s germs everywhere but that doesn’t bother me my only concern is situation > contamination > anxiety then > complusion. Nothing else matters I could win the lottery that wouldn’t matter the letter box would still in my mind be tainted. 

These thoughts matter to me that’s the problem. Im still annoyed she put the money in that envlope I go over it in my head on repeat. Then my head says well nobody is real anyway my ocd is on hyperdrive this week all I can think of is me and these thoughts and how my life is ruined by these germs. My theripst is trying to figure out is it all about me or do I fear others with the germs or other houses but it’s not. She wonders what it says about me but I have no idea. 

Like I say I basically just don’t like the notion. I couldn’t care what happened to the letter box before I only look at the situation in my head that happened when I stayed here a situation I can’t even confirm. I mentioned I had envolopes in the past and never worried because 1. It was my old house 2. The envolope never said “dad” but it may have come from a bin but I never had the thought therefore it was never an issue. 

I read an ocd book it mentioned contamination and how the ocd makes you seperate stuff or even dispose of stuff and this is what I’m going through. Understanding it doesn’t help I only on compulsions and that would be a new door or mail box. If not everyone coming in the door will cause anxiety so ocd wins. Really the only way is a new door when I replace something I try and tell myself the new item will be better anyway even if it is bad on fincanes. 

I fear going round in circles endlessly worrying about Mail under I either move house again or get a new door. There is no escape from these thoughts.  

 

 

[St Mike]

2 hours ago, Phil10 said:

 

I fear going round in circles endlessly worrying about Mail under I either move house again or get a new door. There is no escape from these thoughts.  

 

 

There will never be an escape from the thoughts. The objective of therapy is to change the way we perceive and respond to intrusive thoughts.

Thoughts can never be stopped, triggers can never be avoided but we can change and condition our minds to treat them differently and thus behave differently in response to them.

[Angst]

Hi Phi10.  When are you seeing your psychiatrist again? I remember that in a previous post you mentioned that your psychiatrist had stopped you getting psychological therapy on the NHS after your breakdown and you agreed it would be a good idea to clarify with him/her whether this was a temporary ban. It might be useful to talk about this along with the problems you are currently experiencing. Be easy on yourself. What about having a break somewhere for a few days where you will not be near triggers. Sometimes we just need to cope and relaxing will help. Incidentally, I think I should take my own advice. I think a break somewhere would be good for me. My therapists said that I should treat myself to more breaks!

[Guest Phil10]

2 hours ago, Angst said:

Hi Phi10.  When are you seeing your psychiatrist again? I remember that in a previous post you mentioned that your psychiatrist had stopped you getting psychological therapy on the NHS after your breakdown and you agreed it would be a good idea to clarify with him/her whether this was a temporary ban. It might be useful to talk about this along with the problems you are currently experiencing. Be easy on yourself. What about having a break somewhere for a few days where you will not be near triggers. Sometimes we just need to cope and relaxing will help. Incidentally, I think I should take my own advice. I think a break somewhere would be good for me. My therapists said that I should treat myself to more breaks!

Yes I have a few holidays booked this May help.

Right now i feel doomed by the thoughts of this letter box and I can’t afford to move house seems no escape from possible toilet germs 

[gingerbreadgirl]

Honestly Phil the best thing you could do is run your hand along the letterbox, lick it, go and put your hand in the toilet, or the bin, anything, anything that involves running right towards your fears.  Because every time you run away from them you reinforce the idea that there is something to be feared and you get more and more stuck.  Every time you run away you guarantee that this will get worse.  I'm sorry to be harsh but this is the decision you are faced with - the decision that every OCD-sufferer is faced with.  The problem is not to do with the letterbox, the problem is one in your brain, and every time you carry out a compulsion you make it that bit worse.

[Angst]

Hi Phil10 This thread has gone on for over a month with hundreds of posts.

As bob fish says you have touched things from the letter box and not run away. PaulM suggests that a graded response is best from his perspective of being a sufferer of this theme rather than flooding. Other people recommend flooding as in the last post. I think that there are a host of perspectives.

You say that you are in circles but this thread is also in circles. So the options as I see a. graded approach b. flooding c. short break and discussion with psychiatrist d. intermittent stage of cleaning (mentioned in the hundreds of posts).  To start with why not go back to PaulMs and bob fish’s posts about your partial success with the graded approach?

 

 

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

2 hours ago, Phil10 said:

Yes I have a few holidays booked this May help.

Right now i feel doomed by the thoughts of this letter box and I can’t afford to move house seems no escape from possible toilet germs 

Ok. This have gone out of control. Thread is just you confessing at this point, you are not even reading the posts. Phil this is bad for you.

[Guest Phil10]

3 hours ago, OCDhavenobrain said:

Ok. This have gone out of control. Thread is just you confessing at this point, you are not even reading the posts. Phil this is bad for you.

Yes I’ve got little out forums being told to put my hand down toilets and put my hand in letter box doesn’t help nor does people’s views on solispsim and others trying to worry me that it’s true because I believe there’s trolls out there who will make my ocd worse so I may have to retire from forums and find an alternative way to cope. 

[gingerbreadgirl]

Do you mind me asking what sort of advice you are after Phil? Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems you are quite unwilling to take advice on how best to address this so I'm not sure what your aim is in posting?

[PolarBear]

Phil you have a poor understanding of OCD and what it takes to recover. Gb was not trolling you by suggesting you ultimately need to touch the mail slot and put your hand in a toilet. That is a normal part of ERP. Just about everyone with contamination issues has to do the same sorts of things.

No one has trolled you on this forum. You have recieved excellent advice. Unfortunately you are unwilling to try. I'm not even sure you realize you have a problem.

Edited June 30, 2018 by PolarBear

[gingerbreadgirl]

I apologise if what I said was too harsh, I wasn't necessarily suggesting you do those things right now, I was pointing out that you need to be going in the opposite direction of what you're doing now if you want to get better.  But honestly I don't think you really want to get better, which is your choice. 

I do however object to being called a troll simply because I don't say what you want to hear.  I have never trolled anyone - I have however tried to help you.

I'm leaving this thread now so best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Guest Phil10]

My mum has continued to reassure me but the worry that it came from the bin continues my head believes it really happened how can I deal with this? I try distraction and it only works so long before I fear my life is doomed due to the letter box fear?

I don’t know why I worry over these certain issues the envolope bit the table but I don’t want to replace that just the door I can’t even clean it as it’s got hairs in letter box 

But I’ve been reassured by all my family it probably wasn’t in bin but it’s making
Me feel ill with worry and I don’t see the theripst for another week and a half?

Why does my head give such importance to some thoughts that may be false?

My partner and family don’t want to listen to my worry anymore 

[bobfish]

1 hour ago, Phil10 said:

My mum has continued to reassure me but the worry that it came from the bin continues my head believes it really happened how can I deal with this? I try distraction and it only works so long before I fear my life is doomed due to the letter box fear?

I don’t know why I worry over these certain issues the envolope bit the table but I don’t want to replace that just the door I can’t even clean it as it’s got hairs in letter box 

But I’ve been reassured by all my family it probably wasn’t in bin but it’s making
Me feel ill with worry and I don’t see the theripst for another week and a half?

Why does my head give such importance to some thoughts that may be false?

My partner and family don’t want to listen to my worry anymore 

7

Phil, don't you see how asking for reassurance isn't helping you in the slightest, and is in fact making things work? The reason why your brain is giving this so much attention is because you keep thinking about it. You're allowing yourself to ruminate on this - you keep trying to figure out for sure whether something's happened, but you'll never know for sure, so all this worrying just feeds your anxiety.

When you say your life is 'doomed', what exactly do you mean by that - what do you think will happen?

I know you're feeling awful right now, but to be honest, everyone has to at some point during their recovery from OCD. Don't engage with the thoughts, stop ruminating, stop asking your family for reassurance, stop trying to find out the answer for sure. Observe that the fear is there, but observe it passively. Watch your anxiety come down over time.

 

[Guest Phil10]

9 minutes ago, bobfish said:

Phil, don't you see how asking for reassurance isn't helping you in the slightest, and is in fact making things work? The reason why your brain is giving this so much attention is because you keep thinking about it. You're allowing yourself to ruminate on this - you keep trying to figure out for sure whether something's happened, but you'll never know for sure, so all this worrying just feeds your anxiety.

When you say your life is 'doomed', what exactly do you mean by that - what do you think will happen?

I know you're feeling awful right now, but to be honest, everyone has to at some point during their recovery from OCD. Don't engage with the thoughts, stop ruminating, stop asking your family for reassurance, stop trying to find out the answer for sure. Observe that the fear is there, but observe it passively. Watch your anxiety come down over time.

 

I just feel anxious because I can’t replace the door I can’t afford to really. But I feel doomed as I may worry about this for months of years and think the only way is a new door. I feel doomed because I’ve just moved and can’t move again and carrying a bank card on me means I carry these germs around with me. 

What annoys me is I don’t know if it even happened if it never it’s all one big worry over nothing if it did maybe it was the kitchen bin and no toilet germs? I don’t mind if it was in a bin my fear is it being in a bin where blocked toilet bags were so my worry is toilet germs and wash baskets these are my two biggest fears they are like radiation to me in my mind. For me to get better I would have to not worry about the germs created from a blocked toilet and germs from dirty washing. How can you suggest I get over these my point is its not really about the letter box it’s about possible blocked toilet germs no actual general waste germs from a bin?

[Guest Phil10]

And even if I accept the fear let’s be honest I may still think oh maybe the letter box has germs from a bin that had a blocked toilet? I wonder why do I ask these questions? Earlier in the topic I said I had envolopes before in the past via my old house letter box they could have come from a bin but because the envlope said dad I got anxious this is how my ocd works. I mentioned the table the envolope was on the coffee table I’d want to replace this can you explain my “selective” ocd why the letter box and not the table? 

[bobfish]

OCD is selective because it's irrational, that's why.

Getting over your anxiety takes time. You need to have enough willpower to stop asking for reassurance, to stop replacing things, and to just wait a few days and see what happens. Trust me, it's for the best.  Power through the pain.

Also, if I were you, I would just lick the envelope, or even the letter box.

[PolarBear]

OCD is what it is. For you it's one thing and for another it's something rlse. There is very little rhyme or reason to it. It's just all completely illogical.

Interesting you say you would be doomed if germs from a toilet ended up on your bank card. What makes you think they're not already there? Lots of people don't wash their hands after using the toilet. They touch door knobs, desks, mail, hsndrails and 10,000 other things. Despite that, we sll carry on and survive. None of us are doomed.