Checking OCD and leaving apt.

[Zazoo]

Every time I leave my apartment I have to go through a series of rituals but what gets me is while I've got over most of them new one's keep popping up or an old one gets worse.  

The worst one (and this may be odd) is my bathroom tap, I can't stop myself from checking it constantly even though I can clearly see its off and even take pictures to prove it.  It just doesn't make sense to me because my mind just can't believe its off but once I'm out of my apt its fine (mostly).  I can believe my kitchen tap is off, that my fridge door is shut, that my fan is fine being left on but this one has been a constant for about 10 years now even while I've managed to get over others, its the grand daddy of all my OCD rituals.  I only do this when leaving, otherwise nothing.  

Any suggestions for attacking long term ingrained rituals?  I've tried many things to combat it but its just so persistent.  It makes me not want to go out just so I don't have to deal with it.  Thanks in advance.  

[PolarBear]

Stop your compulsions. That simple.

How many times do you check the tap? Each one is a compulsion. Any more than zero checks is prolonging the problem.

You said you take pictures of the tap to prove it's off. Big compulsion. You must stop doing that.

[taurean]

I have always had issues with taps. 

But we have to learn just to make one sensible check of key things in our home before we leave it. 

Such checks are sensible and practicable and all that is needed. 

 

[paradoxer]

7 hours ago, Zazoo said:

Every time I leave my apartment I have to go through a series of rituals but what gets me is while I've got over most of them new one's keep popping up or an old one gets worse.  

The worst one (and this may be odd) is my bathroom tap, I can't stop myself from checking it constantly even though I can clearly see its off and even take pictures to prove it.  It just doesn't make sense to me because my mind just can't believe its off but once I'm out of my apt its fine (mostly).  I can believe my kitchen tap is off, that my fridge door is shut, that my fan is fine being left on but this one has been a constant for about 10 years now even while I've managed to get over others, its the grand daddy of all my OCD rituals.  I only do this when leaving, otherwise nothing.  

Any suggestions for attacking long term ingrained rituals?  I've tried many things to combat it but its just so persistent.  It makes me not want to go out just so I don't have to deal with it.  Thanks in advance.  

There's an easy answer but it's not necessarily easy, namely, don't do it. Every time you yield to OCD - you're making those 'grooves' all the more entrenched. There are different schools of thought on this, but you might want to set yourself incremental targets i.e check a lesser number of times. Ideally - not at all. Or as Taurean points out, perhaps one sensible check. You'll know yourself if it oversteps the bounds into a sneaky self-sabotaging OCD ritual.  

[Dragonfly]

Hi Zazoo,

I used to take pictures of locked doors in my house, it would take me sometimes an hour just to leave.

Are you having CBT? 

My therapist told me to leave without checking at all, no tugging the locks, taking pics or anything. I then had to log my anxiety out of 10, which at first was through the roof. I also had to log how long it took to come down. 

She did warn me that if it was too much to do on my own she would help me the first few times, I assume to help with the anxiety and not going back to check. I didn’t need her to come to help me, but i can’t lie, the anxiety at first wasn’t nice. The chart helps though, as you do gradually see the anxiety reduce.

I still have off days where I tug locks at times, but I’ve never had to take pictures since. And I found taking pictures added to the anxiety. Even though I’m still dealing with a lot of my themes, I notice when anxiety reduces now I quite a few, which in turns helps me label the OCD easier, which I believe is thanks to this exercise. 

Good luck! 

[Angst]

I too have a thing about the bathroom basin tap. My checking used to be a lot worse but the basin tap checks is still in my repertory of behaviour. I understand completely about avoidance - not wanting to undergo the compulsions because of all the hassle involved. Still the recommendation is not to do repeated checks and still go out. Probably counterproductive to think about the reasons why we are preoccupied with bathroom taps - just cease doing it.

Edited August 3, 2018 by Angst

[Zazoo]

When something like this is so ingrained, just ceasing to do it feels almost impossible, the anxiety is horrible and again I just can't understand why.  This all started years ago when my landlord asked if I had left a tap on by chance, simple as that but because I was going through a period of stress one check became part of a whole new series of rituals.  On Saturday I left my apt within a few minutes but had to come back later for a few minutes because I had forgotten something, next thing I know I was doing the rituals and ended up being late to meeting my friend for lunch.  I tried to not do it but I just couldn't stop myself.  The longer I know I'm going to be away from my apt the worse it gets but again once gone, I'm usually okay no matter how long I'm out for.  The mind is such a weird thing.  

[PolarBear]

Quitting cold turkey is difficult. You can use the procedures of reduce and delay to whittle down your compulsions.

You reduce by reducing how many times you check. If you normally check five times, then start with four. And only do four, for one week. Then reduce to three for a week. And so on.

Delay means to delay when you do a compulsion. If you normally check as soon as you get the thought you left the tap on, make yourself wait ten minutes for a week before checking. Then a week of 20 minutes and so on.

Know this: your goal is not to get down to checking once. Zero checks is the only goal to strive for.

[taurean]

A structured CBT approach is, for me, the way forward here. 

You need the cognitive side to understand why 

4 hours ago, Zazoo said:

The mind is such a weird thing.  

In OCD. 

The anxiety response will only be short term if you work through the programme, reducing down as you go through the behavioural side, including exposure and response prevention. 

Staying as you are, you also risk the illness spreading into other themes, other restrictions "adding other layers to your OCD onion". 

So for me, it is CBT all the way Zazoo - not just to overcoming the checking, but also to halt any potential worsening of your experience of OCD. 

[Angst]

I too have the same thing as regards intensity of checking -the longer I plan to be away, the worst it gets. I attribute this to the idea that more damage could be done in a longer period.

For me it is not so much the conscious thought that I have left the tap rather checking is part of a habitual system which is initiated in the process of going out. I think from what you write that you have something similar.

You probably have to schedule in checking time before you leave your apartment. This is probably done unconsciously. You could reduce the amount of checking time  explicitly.

But what works for me is this. I have a slight relapse but plan to reinstitute the regime.  I stopped Cold Turkey for the briefest of times I was absent from the apartment. I slowly stopped checking for longer and longer periods for which I planned to be absent from the apartment.

 

Edited August 6, 2018 by Angst