Dragonfly

Ah the book is brilliant. I think I’ll dig my one out again too actually. For the Meditation, I just googled 10 min mediations and free ones come up on You Tube. The one I done earlier was called A Powerful 10 minute guided mediation. There’s lots though x

Hi ecomum, I sound pretty much like you. My OCD has been ok for a while, but yesterday I went back a bit. Gemma’s advice is great, it’s really helped me reading that, so thank you for your post and thanks to Gemma. When I get myself together in a bit I’m going out for my days exercise in the form of a walk with my dogs. It’s always helped me in the past, as did short meditations, which I done one earlier. Maybe you could try those too? Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. Stay as strong as you can x

Hi there, Sorry to hear what you’re going through. My OCD got worse after I found out I was pregnant with my first child and then stepped up after I had her too. I wasn’t aware at that point though that I had OCD, I thought I was just strange. With mine, in pregnancy I became obsessed with if I had any diseases that I could possibly pass on to my unborn baby, then after she was born I became obsessed with whether anything was clean enough. I also worried about someone taking her if went out and about her breathing when she was asleep. Are you having any counseling or CBT? The techniques they teach you in CBT will be very helpful to you, especially with how to handle the anxiety. With your mum coming to stay you may be able to put these in to action a little easier too. There are also some great books. I know with a new baby it’s hard to concentrate or grab time to read, but some books are in sections and you could maybe read the sections that apply most to you. One of the therapists I once saw said to me ‘don’t fight the thought’. This really helped me as I find even now that once I start ‘fighting the thought’ it gives it relevance and starts me on the ‘loop’. What I have learnt (when I put my therapy in to practice) is the anxiety does eventually go down if I just leave it and don’t react to the thought - easier said than done at times I know, but it does get easier. Remember, at the moment you’ve so much going on, your hormones are up and down and anything like I was, very sleep deprived, which also doesn’t help OCD at all, so be kind to yourself. I’d take any offers of help and sleep the best you can and relax when you can. It will get easier. Stay strong! X

Hi Headwreck, Polar Bear is so right in what he’s saying. I’ve backtracked a bit at the moment, and I’m ruminating and as he says above, it’s getting me nowhere, my anxiety is like a yo yo. I’ve remembered what my therapist said to me about using calming techniques and breathing exercises, so I’m going for it today and practicing them again. I’m also going to really try and and ‘take that leap of faith’ that it is all just the OCD! I know it’s not for everyone, but could you try something like this too? Are you seeing a new therapist yet? They would teach you methods for when the anxiety is high or if you feel it creeping in. Stay as positive as poss! x

Hi Olivia, how are you today? That’s great you got out yesterday! Maybe you could try doing that each day? Ashley is the MD of OCD UK and is also on here offering advice at times. I’ve just tried to find the link on here for finding a therapist but it doesn’t seem to work @Ashley would you be able to help please? Yes, I would make an appointment with your GP and explain you are not feeling very good at all, and can he look at your medication and refer you for CBT. If there’s a waiting list in your area then perhaps you could find a private therapist until an NHS one is available? Don’t be so hard on yourself and try not to think that you’ve wasted your life on OCD. I think most of us on here have had OCD most of our lives, and yes if I think about how much it has ruled my life at times it gets me down. But, I think it also shows how strong we all are too! It’s never too late to fight even harder! Sending positive thoughts and good luck finding a therapist x

Hi there, could you go back to your doctor and speak to them about your medication? Maybe it needs adjusting. I think somewhere on here there’s a list of CBT specialists, maybe you could ask Ashley for ones in your area? It may be you haven’t found the right specialist for you. I’ve seen a quite few over the years, and some just didn’t work for me at all. There’s also a place in London that Taurean mentioned the other day. Not sure if you’re in London or could travel, but if not maybe give them a call and see if they could recommend or refer you to someone closer? I’ve had periods where I’ve been constantly ruminating and/or performing rituals. It’s awful, but you can get through this with the right help. Whilst you find another therapist do you have any self help books you could read? Also is there anything at all that helps ease the anxiety that you could do more? I find getting out helps me. Try and stay as positive as possible, you’re not alone and there’s always people in here to help x

I’m so very sorry to hear what you’re going through Saz. This at any time is bad enough, but at Christmas is not nice at all. A few years back now we thought we were breaking up after the Christmas. We’d had family causing problems then the ‘stresses’ of Christmas just added to it all. I thought I would break. As it happens after a few months we were back on track. You will get through this! The strength will come. Do you have family or friends you can lean on? If you can maybe try getting out with your children. Just try and take each day as it comes. You always have everyone here on the forum too. Sending lots of positive thoughts X

I needed a reminder of this! Thanks Roy

Hi there, Sorry to read how you’re feeling. It’s all OCD. And it’s doing what it does best, trying to make you doubt and question everything. Have you seen a GP or therapist at all? If not could you try and get an appointment tomorrow or after Christmas? Sometimes even taking that first step helps a bit. Try and stay as strong as possible, I know that’s hard though. I think most of us on here have been in the same place as you, where the OCD and anxiety just seems overwhelming and the themes keep changing. Is there anything you can do that helps reduce your anxiety? I find getting out helps reduce mine x

Have you tried reading Break free from OCD? I’ve gone back to re reading that a few times when I’ve been struggling, I do find it useful. Another one is The Mindfulness work book for OCD. You may be able to send a letter in to your doctor giving someone you trust permission to speak for you - not sure if that’s something that you’d want to do? Just means that the doctor could re check your medication to see if they think something else would help more perhaps, and possibly get you on the waiting list for CBT.

Hi there, I’m so sorry to read how you’re feeling. No way should you feel ashamed though! And you are not lazy, selfish etc either. You have a mental health condition just like all of us on here. The fact you’re on here talking is a good step forward though! Have you seen your gp at all? I going out is awful for you, but if you haven’t would you speak to a doctor over the phone, with the possibility of letting them visit you? Not sure if you’re on meds but they may help with the anxiety too. You could then start to tackle the OCD with CBT. My meds have helped a lot with my anxiety. At one point all I wanted to do was stay in bed. There’s also some great self help books too. Do you have any at the moment you could begin reading? If you can just start by talking small steps, maybe washing your hands and face and just sitting with the anxiety. Those may feel so difficult first of all but it will get easier x

I thought I was doing well this Christmas so far, but the OCD and anxiety have got worse this week as it’s gone on I’m doing breathing exercises and getting out when I can, plus reminding myself that this is what my OCD does. It’s helping sometimes, but feel like I’m on a see saw the way my anxiety keeps going up and down. Stay strong the best you can and know you’re not alone! Hope you feel better soon X

Ah that’s great to hear! I’m doing ok thanks, like you still have niggles here and there and anxious times, but dealing with it a lot better Xx

Hi Headwreck, Do you think that you’re feeling better but digging around still, as this is what you’ve been used to? I questioned myself at times still too after I began to feel better, after all that’s what we do don’t we! That’s our normal, not to trust ourselves and to let the OCD take the reins. I think if you can, and it won’t be easy, you need to ‘take that leap of faith’, that it is all just the OCD. May take a while but the thoughts and anxiety will decrease. But one thing is for sure, you keep analysing isn’t doing anything any good. It’s not going to happen overnight, could take months, as you’re retraining your brain, but just try and give a ‘whatever’ when a thought comes in x

Hi Battlethrough, Have you began therapy yet or spoken to your gp?

This is a great post Gbg. For a while now I’ve been able to deal with some of my OCD themes, through like you say, getting use to feeling uncomfortable, mainly the driving and locking door ones. With both of those I have to sit with the anxiety and I’ve found both go down quite quickly now. One of my therapists always used to say to me ‘don’t fight the thought’ and although I never fully understood what she meant, maybe now I do after reading your thread and likening it to being able to deal with the above themes - Just need to apply it to the other themes I have now too, which is proving harder!! Hope you’re doing ok Gbg x

Ah, Great news BelAnna! Well done for facing your fears about going in to a doctors and hospital too Xx

That’s why OCD is also known as the doubting disease. That’s it’s job, to get us doubting, and it’s unfortunately very good at it. The best you can try to stop going over the questions and what if’s about the meds etc, just label those thoughts too as OCD and give them a ‘whatever’ and move on. It will get easier, but you have to keep working on it. You are doing so well though! Keep going!

Hi BelAnna, Sorry to hear the above. You have some great advice, and I can only echo that even if it was cancer, there really is so much more they can do for it now. I too have friends who have had breast cancer and they are in remission and doing great. I know it’s torture waiting for the appointment, but it will soon be here. Please do not google anymore, it really won’t help and will only increase your anxiety. I don’t at all anymore because of what it done to be, but I did have to google a symptom that one of my dogs have at the moment and even for that, he now could have anything!! He’s off to the vets later now as it didn’t help at all. Try getting out if you’re up to it, or put on a box set, something you know you can get lost in. You may not feel like laughing but even a comedy may help more than you think, an old Friends episode or something! And there’s always the forum here to chat on, and Central Perk for light hearted chat, so you’re not alone! Remember this still could be something and nothing, worrying is not going to help at all. Stay strong and sending lots of positive thoughts X

It’s called OCD! Any little doubt it can chuck our way, it will try! I also think that when you have OCD you are far more sensitive than most in a few ways, but one being that you’re very aware of your moods (or at least I am) and when things do improve a little, but then anxiety sets in again, we take it as an enormous set back, or at least bigger than it is, and maybe notice it far more than a person without OCD. The thing I remind myself of is that everyone has down days, everyone has low times, it’s how we choose to deal with it that counts. Keep going as you are making progress, even if you think you aren’t x

Hi Headwreck, I’ve had my meds from different manufacturers. I too went a bit up and down. It did level out again, and like some have said I put this down to the meds just fluctuating whist they get in your system properly. It can take a few months. When the thoughts come try really really hard to give them a ‘whatever’ and a shrug. It’s been a constant, so this isn’t going to correct overnight. You really have to change your thought process. I know you have tried really hard, but the meds will eventually help the anxiety if they haven’t already and you need to retrain your brain to treat these thoughts as a nothing. I found what I’ve said about in the past helpful, when I say ‘oh I can feel the OCD trying its tricks again’ or whatever you want to say. You will get there! X

Hi Gbg, I always seem to suffer at Christmas too OCD wise (and other times too that should otherwise be happy occasions; holidays, birthdays etc), and the guilt is enormous if I don’t see my mum at Christmas. I have (finally) learnt some management skills for my OCD. Anybody that is likely to heighten my anxiety because of the way they make me feel, whether it’s intentional or not, I manage the situation. Like Caramol said above, I now visit my mum but I keep it short. It really works for me, and she does comment I don’t stay long, but for the good of my health and our relationship this is how it is. My mum can be lovely, but likewise she can make me quite anxious too. I cannot feel guilty for that, and nor should you about your mum. I also apply this rule to certain friends now, as I look on it that I am looking after my health and in turn making sure myself and my own family are happy. As my most recent therapist said to me, they’re the ones that ultimately matter, and likewise although of course your mum and family matter, you and your partner are the ones that ultimately matter too, she’s your very immediate family. I used to be suffering so badly with anxiety and OCD and taking on everybody else’s opinions and trying to please. Since I’ve stopped that my OCD has improved and recently I celebrated my birthday, and it’s the first birthday in absolute years that I’ve really enjoyed. I put this down to my taking control. Hope you don’t think I sound harsh, I truly don’t mean to, but sometimes you have to put yourself first! It isn’t selfish, it’s looking after your health! X

Years ago before I knew this theme was OCD too, I had a fear of blood contamination etc. In the end I had a couple of incidents take place where I was in a panic as I had been ‘exposed to contamination’ and I was in a real state. One being about 12 years ago now where a repair man cut his finger repairing our dish waster and I happened to cut mine too at the same time. I think now that theme went as I had no choice but to just tolerate the uncertainty (which was so hard) and get on with my life, and realise it’s really not that easy to be contaminated and catch something! If it was we’d all be walking around in masks etc!! Enjoy your day in London and the best you can try and develop a whatever attitude to the OCD thoughts x

Good for you BelAnna! It’s great they’re being thorough, but there’s also lots of other reasons usually too why our bodies react the way the do, and a lot of the time it’s something and nothing! Stay positive and keep busy! X

Yes! This is so true! Although I do find some of my themes have been easier to wait it out and sit with the anxiety than others. So far the locking up of doors when I’m going out and 90% of my checking when I’m out driving I can sit out the anxiety now, and it really does fade and clarity gained. Gradually the time increases too. My anxiety for locking up fades very quickly now, usually well within a minute.