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Chels

Sexual intrusive thoughts and groinal response

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Looking for some advice not sure about reassurance but just some insight. I’m not sure what’s real or what’s not anymore but my ‘rationale’ mind KNOWS that these thoughts/feeling ARE NOT true. It’s driving me insane I am feeling so upset. I’m in a relationship and extremely happy with the most loving person I have met. I am for some reason having stupid thoughts about his cousin! And I convinced myself I found him attractive then because of that convinced I fancied him (which is definitely don’t!) because of this every time I see him I can’t look at him as I just convince myself I’m flirting. I also have weird thoughts not just with him this has happened in the past I can’t lie in a certain position like if I lie on my side and my genitals are showing and not covered by me lying on my back I have thoughts of someone having sex with me and then I convince myself I’m moving my vagina? As if I’m enjoying it when the thought physically repulses me! I even sometimes convince myself I’m ‘smiling’ at the thoughts, because I’m half asleep most of the time I can’t even remember if I am moving my vagina (I can only describe it as pelvic floor movements) it’s awful. I wouldn’t do that even if I was single and did fancy someone! But this just literally feels so weird I know I wouldn’t do it but my mind is saying ‘what if’ it’s so it’s so irrational but I’m scared as it’s becoming more and more significant to me and I’m letting it take over 😢 the last thing I want is to drive my partner away. I’m so upset, hope someone can shed some light 

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Hi Chels - I am sorry that you are struggling with this. It is true that this constant noise in your head can be so distressing. I cant offer much advice because I myself have struggles with different things. Health anxiety is my issue right now. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this and while I may not be able t offer much advice, I hope that knowing you are not alone will be of some comfort. OCD is a cruel illness and likes to attack those things you hold dear. If you are not on instagram I would suggest joining and looking up some people who blog / share about OCD. There is help to be got. I have a call this evening with Robert James who is an OCD and anxiety Coach. Feel free to get in touch :)

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Thank you for getting back to me! I do have Instagram what pages would you recommend? 

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On 22/05/2020 at 12:38, Kevsangel said:

If you are not on instagram I would suggest joining and looking up some people who blog / share about OCD.

I'm not against people sharing OCD experiences, but be careful about using Instagram as a place to find advice. Unlike the charity website/forum here there is nobody monitoring what people say on Instagram or checking it is appropriate and helpful.

On 22/05/2020 at 12:38, Kevsangel said:

I have a call this evening with Robert James who is an OCD and anxiety Coach.

I have no idea who this person is; he may be a qualified CBT therapist, he may be peddling his own brand of therapy that's not regulated or approved by BACPS (the organisation which accredits properly trained therapists.) Before doing any sessions with someone (particularly if it's someone you've discovered through online advertising) always check their credentials and don't be afraid to ask about the therapy on offer. Make sure it's CBT (both cognitive and behavioural parts) and not ERP alone, or counselling, or 'anxiety management'. 

 

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On 22/05/2020 at 04:06, Chels said:

I’m scared as it’s becoming more and more significant to me and I’m letting it take over

So often people say exactly what they need to hear without realising what they've said. :)

It's because you're treating these thoughts and feelings as significant that they have become troubling. When you realise they are just thoughts and accept they have no significance they will gradually fade away.

When you do compulsions (ruminating/thinking about it, checking your physical reaction and more) you convince yourself the thoughts are significant and set yourself up for another round of trouble. 

You asked on another thread if the book Break Free from OCD would help you. The book does explain the cycle of thought > interpretation > feeling > result and how changing the interpretation you give it (the significance/ meaning you decide it has) can break the cycle. If you haven't yet got a therapist to talk you through it then a self-help book like this one is a good place to start. 

 

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@PolarBear thank you for that advice on the book. It’s like I know what I need to do but it’s terribly hard to accept it and to not worry by doing that I feel bad. Also I have had CBT twice now :( but seems to creep up again sometimes although this is the best position I have been in with it and the strongest Iv been. So I have came far but I don’t want to fall into that black hole again where I can’t get out of it or do everyday things 

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By the way, Chels, polarbear and snowbear are different users. We sometimes get mixed up but snowbear is the smart one.

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@snowbear sorry about that! Here is my reply to your message I saw the picture and thought it was polar bear 

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No worries, Chels. I'm not bothered about these occasional mix-ups and neither is PolarBear. :) 

On 23/05/2020 at 22:39, PolarBear said:

We sometimes get mixed up but snowbear is the smart one.

:lol:  I wish...

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On 24/05/2020 at 06:39, PolarBear said:

By the way, Chels, polarbear and snowbear are different users.

I dunno, I've never seen you both in the same place at the same time...

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