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Why would I do this?


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When I was at work today I was helping a woman who’s kid was with her. What happened was that in the corner of my eye it felt like in my mind I was looking at the kid in an inappropriate way but for some reason I stuck my tongue out briefly. Why would I do that at a time like that? I don’t understand why my mind would want me to stick my tongue out at the same time it felt like I was looking at them inappropriately. I feel horrible now & can’t sleep at all. I really try not to come here but sometimes it’s too much where I can’t sleep or have severe stress & feel like I’m going to pass out from the stress.

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Do you feel like you are over thinking this?

I'm not sure it's inappropriate to 'stick your tongue out' in a playful way. A child would probably find that funny.

But if you do feel like you are having inappropriate thoughts, well it's good that you are aware of that.

So that could lead to you examing why you feel like that. Are you really having inapproprite thoughts or are you feeling self conscious in case you were being misinterpreted?

 If you got it wrong, learn and move on. The woman and her child may not have interpreted it the way you have. It may just have been another daily encounter to them.

Take it easy on yourself.

 

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4 hours ago, howard said:

Do you feel like you are over thinking this?

I'm not sure it's inappropriate to 'stick your tongue out' in a playful way. A child would probably find that funny.

But if you do feel like you are having inappropriate thoughts, well it's good that you are aware of that.

So that could lead to you examing why you feel like that. Are you really having inapproprite thoughts or are you feeling self conscious in case you were being misinterpreted?

 If you got it wrong, learn and move on. The woman and her child may not have interpreted it the way you have. It may just have been another daily encounter to them.

Take it easy on yourself.

 

They didn’t see me do it since it felt like I did it without thinking at random. I know the thoughts were intrusive but the part about sticking my tongue out at random is what’s bothering me. It was for like a split second & right after I was wondering why that happened. I just remember feeling part of my tongue come out of my mouth briefly. 

Edited by NJ321
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I suppose our faces may give away what we are thinking.

So maybe you need to examine those intrusive thoughts and whether they are inappropriate or not.

If you can be honest about the thoughts then you can probably get some help dealing with them.

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24 minutes ago, howard said:

So maybe you need to examine those intrusive thoughts and whether they are inappropriate or not.

I disagree. Examining the intrusive thoughts is not going to help NJ321, it will only make the situation worse. 

I find your comment unhelpful, to be honest. 

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8 hours ago, Cora said:

I disagree. Examining the intrusive thoughts is not going to help NJ321, it will only make the situation worse. 

I find your comment unhelpful, to be honest. 

So what are you suggesting? In the way of positive advice for NJ321.

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On 14/05/2022 at 11:47, NJ321 said:

When I was at work today I was helping a woman who’s kid was with her. What happened was that in the corner of my eye it felt like in my mind I was looking at the kid in an inappropriate way but for some reason I stuck my tongue out briefly. Why would I do that at a time like that? I don’t understand why my mind would want me to stick my tongue out at the same time it felt like I was looking at them inappropriately. I feel horrible now & can’t sleep at all. I really try not to come here but sometimes it’s too much where I can’t sleep or have severe stress & feel like I’m going to pass out from the stress.

You had a thought and now you’re questioning it and examining what it means which is giving it more meaning and creating more anxiety. 

You’re here now in the present but your mind is in the past, overthinking your intentions and trying to figure out what actually happened which is keeping you stuck there.

Give yourself permission to move on and focus on the present. Don’t fight the thoughts but just let them be and do something else. You don’t need to figure out the thought because it’s just that - a thought. If it was a thought that was positive, you wouldn’t get stuck on it. It’s because it’s making you feel distress and you’re desperate to prove it wrong, that you’re feeling this way and therefore doing compulsions (ruminating) which is feeding it.

Step back, don’t argue with it or question it (‘why would I think that?’). Deep breaths and do something positive for yourself.

It will get better and easier 😊

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Actually my thinking on this. We all experience a massive range of thoughts from positive to negative. So obviously if we want to be happy we try to focus on the positive ones.

If that fails we can distract ourselves so we don't think negatively, or we can try meditation to quiet all thoughts and just let them flow and subside.

But in NJ's case the negative thought is manifesting itself as a physical symptom. 

So another way of dealing with a negative thought is to analyse it, understand it, rationalise it and dispel it's power to disrupt our thinking or lives.

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14 hours ago, howard said:

 

So another way of dealing with a negative thought is to analyse it, understand it, rationalise it and dispel it's power to disrupt our thinking or lives.

Maybe this works for many people who do not experience intrusive thoughts or inflated sense of responsibility and guilt. Most of us here have issues with that and don’t always have the tools to ‘rationalise’ as you suggest. The physical symptom you suggest is already an interpretation we must question in my view. 

Recently I spoke with a friend who was reviewing an ‘incident’ from his past. As someone who doesn’t have OCD he was able to: place it it context, recognise he was one of many responsible people, compare the gravity to actions of others and weigh its significance, decide he would act differently next time and let it go. 

I on the other hand spent 5 years analysing an ‘incident’ and taking ‘rational’ actions in response to it which included avoiding my friends, changing cities, missing out on job opportunities, relationships, carrying out daily compulsions and damaging my physical health. In better health I can recognise the ‘incident’ was a very muddled interpretation of an event that may not have happened. My ‘rational’ responses were compulsions aided by an overwhelming sense of wrongness or guilt. 

 

@NJ321 as has been suggested by others, do your best to allow yourself to move on. There is no answer to the question of ‘why’ because it has been posed in the content of a condition that doesn’t play fair. Try and carry out activities that allow you some distraction and as @determination987 suggests, give yourself permission to move on. 

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There are no right answers. based on what any of the OP's tell us we can only make suggestions based on our own experience and knowledge.

It's ultimately up to NJ or any of the OP's which suggestions think might suit them.

They may try none of them, they may find one that works for them, they may try all of them. They may come up with a new idea and pass it on to us.

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