Obsession came true : (

[Rajesh Patel]

I have an obsession that if I don't wash my hands a certain number of times then I will have a car accident.

A few days ago I didn't wash them like this and had a car accident.  These have reinforced my other obsessions

and I feel like **** and it has taken me this long to write this on the forum?  Any advice please? Thanks

[ivybasil]

Hey, I'm really sorry this happened! You've done the right thing reaching out for support. 

I know this is going to feel like it was an obsession come true but I think it's important to remember that OCD thrives on our 'magical thinking' and will keep looking for evidence why our beliefs are true. Can you try something like 'Theory A/Theory B' exercises? It might look something like this: 

Theory A: I didn't wash my hands so I had a car accident. 

Theory B: I had a car accident because of circumstances on the road. 

Then you try to find evidence why each of these may be true. Writing it down might help you see that it's super unlikely that washing your hands a different way to what your OCD would like would cause the accident. 

OCD also tends to go straight for the negative and frightening things too. Not washing your hands a certain way was a HUGE win against your OCD - hold onto that victory.  

[howard]

3 hours ago, Rajesh Patel said:

I have an obsession that if I don't wash my hands a certain number of times then I will have a car accident.

A few days ago I didn't wash them like this and had a car accident.  These have reinforced my other obsessions

and I feel like **** and it has taken me this long to write this on the forum?  Any advice please? Thanks

Wow that is a bit mindblowing. Do you have any idea why you associate that ritual with not having a car accident?

Do you think it's possible that part of you mind was obsessing over the idea that you hadn't carried out your ritual, you were partly distracted and not paying full attention.

 

[Rajesh Patel]

No idea of the association.  I have read though it doesn't matter as it is still magical thinking, however I'm not sure.

Yeah I was distracted I'd say but not to a huge amount that it would cause accident however that is my opinion.

In terms of this point how would you stop or at least reduce the distractions?  

 

However I didn't cause the accident.  I was at the traffic lights and somebody crashed into me so in all fairness

it was out of my control but I'm thinking that had I washed my hands then that car wouldn't have been there etc.

or I would have got caught up in traffic so not been there or it would have been a different driver hence no accident  

[howard]

The problem is, my distorted thinking goes the other way. I believe if I do all the right things, get everything sorted and in place(not rituals) and think positively into the future, then everything will work out positively. Even when something goes apparently wrong, in the long term I see the positive.

Thankfully you only had a minor accident, and it wasn't your fault, but you may have been in the right place at the right time. If you had had washed your hands you may have had a different situation occur. There are so many variables and possibilites out in the world, we just can't be totally in control, we just have to do our best. OCD often is about wanting to have control of your immediate environment to make you feel safe.

(I won't drive if I'm really distracted mentally. I drive a motorcycle and I have to be totally focused on everything all around me, to a degree that most car drivers can't imagine. So I make sure nothing is on my mind, and I know the vehicle is in good order).

[Angst]

6 hours ago, Rajesh Patel said:

I have an obsession that if I don't wash my hands a certain number of times then I will have a car accident.

A few days ago I didn't wash them like this and had a car accident.  These have reinforced my other obsessions

and I feel like **** and it has taken me this long to write this on the forum?  Any advice please? Thanks

I remember my therapist relating a story about how a client had a thing about painting. I don’t remember the details. But the thing happened, the therapist said that the client shrugged his shoulders and said oh well. Bad things happen sometimes they may be associated with our OCD fears.  But there is no relation to washing your hands and car accidents. Bad things happen oh well. But you survived and posting on an OCD site. Washing your hands and other compulsions might in your mind protect you. But they don’t. 

[PolarBear]

This is magical thinking. Nothing more. It's the faulty belief that two unconnected things have something to do with each other.

Toss it in the trash. And work to break your compulsions. You do not need to wash your hands a certain number of times.

[GettingBetterDaily]

This happened at work with me too, everyone was told something about me and it is what my ocd theme is centred. At first it was horrible, BUT now it came true there is nothing to fear.

Subconsciously things are probably rewiring now and this could be a blessing in disguise

[Rajesh Patel]

@ivybasil @howard @Angst @PolarBear @GettingBetterDaily

Thank you all for your responses :-)

[ivybasil]

Just now, Rajesh Patel said:

@ivybasil @howard @Angst @PolarBear @GettingBetterDaily

Thank you all for your responses

Anytime!   How are you getting on? 

[Rajesh Patel]

@ivybasil

Not great if I'm honest - I'm just really lost

 

[ivybasil]

Sorry to hear that! Are you currently in therapy or taking medication or anything for your OCD? I had to revisit my medication dosage recently and it really helped! Would something like that be helpful for you?

[orn4]

On 09/04/2023 at 13:31, Rajesh Patel said:

I have an obsession that if I don't wash my hands a certain number of times then I will have a car accident.

A few days ago I didn't wash them like this and had a car accident.  These have reinforced my other obsessions

and I feel like **** and it has taken me this long to write this on the forum?  Any advice please? Thanks

I've learnt some breathing techniques recently about obsessions. Imagine a balloon filling up every time you breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. It's best to have someone holding your hand with you and guiding you while you slowly divert from your obsession/compulsion. This has personally worked for me. I have some more techniques I can tell you. Know that a car accident would never be your fault because your obsessions don't determine what happens in the world. I remember all the times I felt exactly like you and this may not help but I can truly relate to your situation. You're not alone  

[orn4]

13 hours ago, Rajesh Patel said:

@ivybasil

Not great if I'm honest - I'm just really lost

 

Everything will be OK. It's important to not only br liked and loved by your family but the other people who care about you. Do you have a therapist that specialises in OCD by any chance?

[Rajesh Patel]

@orn4 - yes any techniques that you think may be helpful for me would be great

My family don't know and I cannot tell them for various reasons  

No therapist, just the internet

[Rajesh Patel]

@ivybasil - I'm not on any medication either.  I tried it but side effects were too bad.  I feel I can get through this somehow or the other (in all fairness there has been improvement over the past year) but am beginning to doubt myself and don't know if I can get out of this cycle.

[ivybasil]

@Rajesh Patel you absolutely can get out of this cycle! You've made a huge positive step by posting on here and talking about it! What has helped before? Are there strategies you could try again?

[orn4]

23 hours ago, Rajesh Patel said:

@orn4 - yes any techniques that you think may be helpful for me would be great

My family don't know and I cannot tell them for various reasons  

No therapist, just the internet

Here are a few techniques:

Square breathing. This is where you make an imaginary square and as you make the square starting from the bottom, breath in for 4, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold for 4. Keep doing this until you've calmed down.

Clock breathing (only works if there's a clock in the room):

Look at a clock and wait for the minute to finish. Once it gets to 12 you start this technique. Breathe in until the 1, breathe out until the 2. Breathe in until the 3, breath out until the 4. Keep doing this until you're back to 12 and the minute is up and do as many times as needed.

54321:

Firstly, name 5 things you can see aloud. Next, name 4 things you can hear aloud. Name three things you can touch (and touch them), name 2 things you can smell and finally one thing you can taste. Do as many times as necessary.

Finger tracing:

Start on the outside of your thumb and breathe in while going up the thumb and breath out going down to the second finger. Keep going until you're at the end of the pinky and do ad many times as necessary.

 

Hope all of these help and I'm always ready to give more advice

[Handy]

Nature doesn't distribute energy based on how many times you washed your hands.

[orn4]

7 hours ago, orn4 said:

Here are a few techniques:

Square breathing. This is where you make an imaginary square and as you make the square starting from the bottom, breath in for 4, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold for 4. Keep doing this until you've calmed down.

Clock breathing (only works if there's a clock in the room):

Look at a clock and wait for the minute to finish. Once it gets to 12 you start this technique. Breathe in until the 1, breathe out until the 2. Breathe in until the 3, breath out until the 4. Keep doing this until you're back to 12 and the minute is up and do as many times as needed.

54321:

Firstly, name 5 things you can see aloud. Next, name 4 things you can hear aloud. Name three things you can touch (and touch them), name 2 things you can smell and finally one thing you can taste. Do as many times as necessary.

Finger tracing:

Start on the outside of your thumb and breathe in while going up the thumb and breath out going down to the second finger. Keep going until you're at the end of the pinky and do ad many times as necessary.

 

Hope all of these help and I'm always ready to give more advice

If any of this doesnt make sense or is a little unclear I can explain again 

 

[ivybasil]

10 hours ago, orn4 said:

Hope all of these help and I'm always ready to give more advice

Some fab exercises here The clock is new to me - thank you for sharing!

[orn4]

10 hours ago, ivybasil said:

Some fab exercises here The clock is new to me - thank you for sharing!

  

 

Edited April 21, 2023 by orn4

[snowbear]

23 hours ago, orn4 said:

Here are a few techniques:

Square breathing. This is where you make an imaginary square and as you make the square starting from the bottom, breath in for 4, hold for 4, breath out for 4, hold for 4. Keep doing this until you've calmed down.

Clock breathing (only works if there's a clock in the room):

Look at a clock and wait for the minute to finish. Once it gets to 12 you start this technique. Breathe in until the 1, breathe out until the 2. Breathe in until the 3, breath out until the 4. Keep doing this until you're back to 12 and the minute is up and do as many times as needed.

54321:

Firstly, name 5 things you can see aloud. Next, name 4 things you can hear aloud. Name three things you can touch (and touch them), name 2 things you can smell and finally one thing you can taste. Do as many times as necessary.

Finger tracing:

Start on the outside of your thumb and breathe in while going up the thumb and breath out going down to the second finger. Keep going until you're at the end of the pinky and do ad many times as necessary.

 

Great tips for reducing anxiety in the short-term.

Just a word of warning - these helpful tips can become compulsive rituals if relied on as the sole means of dealing with OCD.

It's important to combine the reduction in anxiety with facing your fears. If you like; using the calming techniques to clear your head so you can do the ERP/ behavioual part of therapy successfully.

[Handy]

On 18/04/2023 at 13:48, Rajesh Patel said:

@ivybasil

Not great if I'm honest - I'm just really lost

 

It must happen right away but since it didn't you must consider intervening forces were also possible. 

[Rajesh Patel]

@ivybasil @howard @Angst @PolarBear @GettingBetterDaily @orn4 @Handy @snowbear

Thank you for all of your responses, advice, and experiences all of which I will use for recovery

I have another question which I will set up another thread