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About Binxy

  • Birthday 14/07/1981

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  1. Sometimes- I pull my eyebrows more though. I don't know why. I just kinda feel like I have to sometimes.
  2. Hi Saz, I guess these things don't really go away- we just get batter at handling them. That's certainly the case for me. I'm much faster at recognising when I'm starting to disappear down the rabbit hole and I snap myself back to something positive. Remember, this is nothing new- occasionally it will take hold. Watch for the rumination and "trying to remember properly" compulsions- they won't get you anywhere except stuck for longer. Hang in there, Binx
  3. Not quite true. I was convinced I had- the fact that I couldn't remember meant that I couldn't prove I hadn't. It felt real enough and the guilt was crippling. An obsession is an obsession. I can't give you the reassurance that you need. You've got to learn how to handle this when the anxiety is so high. Are you still getting some help with your OCD?
  4. Same theme, different day mate. The "tainted my relationship" thing struck a chord with me- it won't feel like this forever, as long as you do the right things. The amount of times I decided to split up with my OH because I thought it was the only way to stop the worry/obsession that I'd cheated on her. It was bad in 2014. Not an issue int he slightest now. Don't play OCD's game BT.
  5. Come on dude- you've been here before and let go, remember how you recovered. When you come out of the OCD fog, you'll realise that the advice folks have given is spot on. I went through he same phase with my other half when I was unwell .... I would walk down the street confessing every time that I even looked at another woman, everytime I had spoke to a woman at work, laughed or joked etc. This is in the past, done. Cut it loose and let it go.
  6. Hi Lily, Good to hear from you, but sorry it's under these circumstances... it's the same old same old I'm afraid. We encounter all kinds of weird thoughts everyday... don't let this one take you back to where you were. Binx
  7. ...and whilst you're worrying yourself with this Saz, you're not living your life as well as you could be (and deserve to). Your response to this is probably what I would have said 5 years ago i.e. "How can I let it go when if I think I might have done something so horrible"... why? Because it's part of the condition. It's OCD. So you must treat it like OCD and let go of all the false stuff that it's feeding you. The more you do this, the easier it will get. "What if something horrible from my past that I can't be sure happened catches up with me in the future". Well, in the extremely unlikely event that something has happened (don't let this sentence trigger you)- deal with it then... not now, on the off chance that something might possibly, but most likely didn't, happen. Taurean- dude, I'm a dude! 🙂
  8. Hi Saz, nothing to add to the above. It's great that you've made some progress- keep it up! Binx
  9. Hi Matie. OK, I'm not a woman, but i don't think I need to be. This was 2009, there has been a lot of water under the bridge since then and she's stuck by you all of the way. I don't know if everyone will agree with me, but I think this is a problem with forgiving yourself, alongside the usual obsession you have with regards to confessing to your other half. It's just another angle for the OCD to creep in I think. Let it go dude. Binx
  10. A non-OCDer would not even think of this "issue" so they wouldn't worry about what was the right thing to do. This is why you need to do nothing- responding would be giving in to your OCD. Ultimately you're looking for reassurance that you've not cheated. This is why it's so obviously OCD... it fits your "theme" perfectly. You've got to let it go I'm afraid. P.S. I've been there with this same problem but with criminal acts... somewhere there is proof that I have/haven't done anything criminal. I used to obsessively read criminal activity in newspapers and have to check where I was at the time (and possibly consider obtaining CCTV footage as "proof") ... but how can I be sure? How can I satisfy myself I definitely didn't? I can't.... with therapy and meds... I can now let this go. It rarely bothers me now.
  11. Come on BT- time to climb back out of that rabbit hole. Look at your old posts- there is a pattern here. Don't let this spiral out of control and ruin a lovely time with your Mrs over Christmas.
  12. I spent some time on a psychiatric hospital ward in 2014/15 (more because of suicidal thoughts/tendencies linked to my obsessions rather than the OCD itself... it certainly wasn't a specialist centre). I had been told that the best thing was to be completely honest with the staff about what was on my mind. I opened up about some thoughts/worries about the past that were bothering me. It was clear that a lot of them misunderstood my condition, wanted to know what I "had done" and started talking to me about things that scared the bejeezers out of me (safeguarding etc.). A good therapist helped enormously after this though. Such a misunderstood disorder. Happy to say more if it helps. Binx
  13. Hi, All the feelings you're having are completely normal when you start Uni. It's been nearly 20 years since I started (I am now a lecturer at the same Uni) but I remember it clearly... I was only 50 minutes away from home but I also had the thoughts you describe above. The difference, I guess, is that at the time my OCD (un-diagnosed back then) was not very active and so I didn't obsess about it all. What you're feeling is normal; you'll make friends- it's just takes time, it will come naturally if you let it. I'm still good friends with a lot of the folks I met 20 years ago. As Gemma asked- are you getting any support for your OCD? Binx
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