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Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze

Borderline Personality Disorder

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I did wonder before about ASD, but then dismissed it. However, the more I read of people's experiences, the more I now think I do have it. Thinking about what my mum has told me of when I was little too, it fits. I feel it has been a barrier to making progress with my OCD.

I want to ask my doctor if I can be assessed, but I'm housebound and can't have anyone in the house...

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There is a diagnosis which both comes under the OCD umbrella and part of it does not. At least according to a recent classification of mental disorders. It is called hoarding. Being housebound and the feeling that I can’t have anybody in the house are two of the set of characteristics. Now I am not saying that you or your family are hoarders. You might be or you might not be. But not allowing tradesman in your house to fix problems can cause major problems. This at the moment is your major problem. You mention it in another thread. How are you going to solve it. I repeat. It is your major problem.

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1 hour ago, Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze said:

I did wonder before about ASD, but then dismissed it. However, the more I read of people's experiences, the more I now think I do have it. Thinking about what my mum has told me of when I was little too, it fits. I feel it has been a barrier to making progress with my OCD.

I want to ask my doctor if I can be assessed, but I'm housebound and can't have anyone in the house...

You could phone The National Autistic Society helpline on 0808 800 4104 and find out what to do re assessment. I’m sure there are others who feel that entry into their sanctuary area would be too overwhelming. I used to be like this too and detest people visiting my parents house or even the phone ringing would be an uninvited intrusion. Dunno if this is how it feels to you. I would make contact with the NAS and take it from there.

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ASD in females is often missed altogether or misdiagnosed as BPD, or some people have both (me feasibly) I'm a very obsessive person! 

 

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6 hours ago, Angst said:

There is a diagnosis which both comes under the OCD umbrella and part of it does not. At least according to a recent classification of mental disorders. It is called hoarding. Being housebound and the feeling that I can’t have anybody in the house are two of the set of characteristics. Now I am not saying that you or your family are hoarders. You might be or you might not be. But not allowing tradesman in your house to fix problems can cause major problems. This at the moment is your major problem. You mention it in another thread. How are you going to solve it. I repeat. It is your major problem.

Our house currently looks like that of hoarders, but I'm not sure if I actually have hoarding disorder or whether it is simply due to OCD and ASD. (Before my mum became disabled it was just my bedroom that looked like that.) Surely I can't have OCD, ASD, BPD, agoraphobia AND hoarding disorder?! I guess it's possible, but I don't know. If I did it would certainly explain the mess I'm in!

The plan is to rent somewhere else temporarily while our house is sorted out, but we still have not found anywhere suitable yet. I check the websites multiple times a day! The situation is desperate, but I do not know how I am going to cope when we do find somewhere.

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5 hours ago, Orwell1984 said:

You could phone The National Autistic Society helpline on 0808 800 4104 and find out what to do re assessment. I’m sure there are others who feel that entry into their sanctuary area would be too overwhelming. I used to be like this too and detest people visiting my parents house or even the phone ringing would be an uninvited intrusion. Dunno if this is how it feels to you. I would make contact with the NAS and take it from there.

Thank you very much, I think I will do that.

It does feel like that, but also I have contamination fears, so it is complicated.

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Hi Lost,

That sounds really stressful! I'm currently living with my family too and although the whole house doesn't look like a Hoarders house there are 20+ bin bags full of dirty laundry, which I consider 'too dirty to touch/wash' and I'm so scared of germs that I do prevent my family cleaning/tidying quite often.Do you hoard because you think the possessions have emotional value or because you cannot clean/tidy them? If it's the latter than it's not true hoarding disorder but is just a symptom of OCD. My family are moving soon too and the stress of house viewings and the anticipatory anxiety about how I'll cope with a new rental property, which is potentially 'contaminated' are difficult to cope with so I can imagine how you feel about renting.

Don't worry too much about labels at the moment but if in the future you are able to see a Psychiatrist then getting a diagnosis/multiple diagnoses might help when seeking treatment. 

When you claim PIP you are allowed to discuss symptoms that you have, even if you are yet to be diagnosed so you can mention the possible BPD/ASD symptoms and hoarding etc. and go into detail, as this might help your claim.

 

 

Edited by BelAnna

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Hi BelAnna,

Thank you very much for your message. I'm sorry you are facing a stressful moving situation too.

There is definitely a lot of OCD to my hoarding. My contamination fears have ironically led to me living in very unhygienic conditions. I also struggle with throwing things away in case I accidentally throw out something I shouldn't. I do also have emotional attachment to some things though, and don't like change. I worry too that I'll forget things if I don't have a reminder of them.

I've thrown away (or bagged to throw away at a later date) a lot of clothes I feel are too dirty to touch/wash. I don't wash any clothes at the moment though - I wear them for ages (or until they get contaminated) then get new ones. I struggle with wearing new clothes though, and usually only change them when I feel they are contaminated. (I think this may be related to autism and sensory problems. I have never been able to wear uncomfortable clothes.)

I had a look out of curiosity, and it seems there is currently around an 18 month wait for autism assessments. Maybe I should get on the list now?!

I won't be able to be totally honest in my PIP assessment as I can't let on how bad the house is!

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The irony of contamination fears leading to hoarding and unhygienic conditions is a very commonly experienced irony. It is well documented. People develop no go areas where they feel they cannot go. I have had CBT for OCD/hoarding and the therapist confirmed this fact.

Problems with throwing things away because of fears of throwing something valuable is also very common. And this is related to endlessly  checking some such things as  rubbish bags.

And very very common is leaving things on display or visibly evident. Because you think that you need a reminder.  But as more and more things are left on display then this leads to piles and piles of things so you cannot things. So tables, chairs become stacked. The stacking can become quite high.

I think that you should be honest in your PIP statement.

Edited by Angst

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Thank you, Angst. That sounds like me/us. There isn't a clear chair or table in the house!

I agree with you about being honest, but my mum doesn't and I can't go against her wishes as it is her house.

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I had a big clear out and sorting session two months ago. My flat has now quite a minimalist look. Jettisoned books, clothes, electronic equipment and furniture. I used to have problems throwing things out but I think no longer. But the hoarding repertoire of behaviour can reappear. I need to sort out a table with some things piled on it along with a sideboard. If you and your Mum just clear a table or chair a day every few days and the problem will dissolve.

It has been quite a long journey for me. Not helped by Brexit. Six out of ten report Brexit anxiety. Manufacturing companies and food companies and pharmaceutical companies are hoarding -sorry   stockpiling - at the moment. Warehouse space is full. People are stockpiling food and medicines. But I have not. 

Edited by Angst

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On 12/02/2019 at 12:40, taurean said:

I used to worry about all sorts of things - I used a self-help book called "How To Stop Worrying & Start Living" by american Dale Carnegie to work on, and eliminate, this tendency to unnatural worry from my life. 

Can I ask if any particular sections of the book proved helpful for you?  I found this a little while ago, and for other matters, started using the 'daytight compartment' method for dealing with some rather large life difficulties.

This past weekend, I came back to the book and have started to look at it more in terms of dealing with anxiety.  The thing is, I find it a challenge given a predisposition towards seeing negatives.  Sure, it can be nice to say if we only look at the positives and focus on those, things will be great, but my mind is not wired to focus on the positives.

I pulled out a quote this morning and put it on a chalkboard at my desk (working from home, so easy enough): "Our life is what our thoughts make it."  While I can say, okay, this makes sense given my life feels like a lot of **** no matter what I do, but that's twofold...  one side is that no matter what I do, things seem to turn out ****.  This is, of course, demoralizing.  It also doesn't point to relief by way of making better decisions.  The other side is almost worse...  I then worry about this.  If I must think good thoughts to have a good life, what if I can't!?  And then it goes back to worrying. 

I would enjoy hearing any advice you may have in terms of coping, and what the important notes from the book were for you.  Thank you!

 

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The book itself is purely geared to stopping worrying per se, rather than the specific worries of OCD - which need the additional working through of CBT for OCD to address those. 

The techniques all have value, but things that especially resonated with me are :

Putting a stop loss order on our worries. 

Living in daytime compartments. 

Not sawing sawdust - letting the past be, it's over we can't change it. 

Not letting the "beetles" get us down.

Planning for, but not worrying about, the future. 

Taking a worry situation then calmly thinking of all possible solutions - however unlikely - rationally considering them. Choosing the best, Implimenting it and dismissing all anxiety about the outcome. 

For specific OCD issues, like magical thinking and thoughts that "I am a bad person" you need to tackle these with a CBT for OCD book. 

I like workbooks, as they give you exercises to do after the theory. You will find some excellent books on CBT for OCD in the bookshop on the main OCD-UK website. 

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