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efes

Have you ever been afraid that your dreams wouldn't come true?

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In my opinion, the worst-case scenario is them not coming true and fooling myself that life with them unfulfilled was fine. Settling basically.
 

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It terrifies me. I cant seem to settle. I have dreams which I'm pushing at but also realising at the same time they're very unlikely to happen.

I used to blame OCD for my job jumping all the time (and I still do it - last year probably had about 6 different jobs) but I actually think it's a bit of this thrown in too; I cant comprehend the idea of settling for a normal 9-5 life - in such a pickle with this exact problem! :(

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Maybe it's for the best that I assume they will so that I don't have to consume myself with worry. 

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Yes I do too, but I like your attitude - just assume that they will and, if they don't, so be it. Nothing is guaranteed for anyone, we all just have to do our best.

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On 15/03/2020 at 17:16, efes said:

Maybe it's for the best that I assume they will so that I don't have to consume myself with worry. 

I sounded so at peace when I said this, but that was only because I had just come back from a bad tantrum and didn't want to further anger myself. 

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I believe the answer isn't that simple. Because dreams will change over time 😊 They are not stationary. They will move as you evolve. it is a great thing to have dreams that can help us navigate and maybe you will end up the place you wished for. But a lot of details will change during that journey towards it ☺️ Hope it makes sense!

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I realized something: one of my biggest issues is fear of being excited over nothing, because that has been the case for me before. But at least I try to not give into that fear anymore. 

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Hi efes :)

Why do you fear being excited over nothing? What do you worry will happen if you are? 

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Without knowing what your specific 'dreams' now are, whether they're realistic (in general or for you) or not, healthy or not, I'll say, that:

Many people, with or without o.c.d. symptoms, have all sorts of dreams, wishes, ambitions that they're unable to realize, for various reasons: some people because they live in poverty, others because they have incurable bodily illnesses or disabilities. Think about that.

Perhaps in life we should seek more, or we should primarily seek something else, than to tick achievements on a list. You should know that also 'successful' people have and had o.c.d. symptoms. Think for example of Howard Hughes, the aviator, if you've seen the film.

But what exactly are your dreams? Maybe you want to go and live with a nomadic tribe. :-)

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On 14/03/2020 at 23:59, efes said:

In my opinion, the worst-case scenario is them not coming true and fooling myself that life with them unfulfilled was fine. Settling basically.

I think there is a difference between 'settling' and living a happy and fullfiling life in which some of your dreams don't come true.

For one, as others have mentioned, dreams change over time.  We grow, we learn, we experience new things and that shapes our goals and our hopes and our dreams.  Where I am now in life is not at all where I'd imagined I'd be 10, 15, 20 years ago.  Things happened, I had new experiences, the course of my life shifted in ways I couldn't have planned for.  That doesn't mean I've "settled" though, far from it. Along the way I reevaluated my priorities and goals, and aimed for new and different things.  And I keep doing that, as we all should.

Imagine you had a dream of being a baker.  Of opening your own shop someday and selling delicious cakes and pies, etc.  You go to school, learn lots of baking skills.  Finally the day comes where you can work at a baking shop, getting some experience to open your own store someday.  You have a good time, you enjoy your job baking.  But you notice the owner doesn't do much baking, she's always busy with bills, and ordering supplies, working with customers, fixing equipment.  You realize that you enjoy the baking part but have no interest in the business side of things.  So your dream changes.  You could keep trying to follow your dream, open your own shop, etc. but what if that would make you miserable?  Should you follow your dream endlessly just because?  I don't think so.  Dreams change as we do.Some dreams you will accomplish, some you won't.  Life meaning is not measured in how many dreams we fulfill. You can be happy and fulfilled without meeting all your dreams in life.

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On 25/03/2020 at 13:35, Rarity said:

I believe the answer isn't that simple. Because dreams will change over time 😊 They are not stationary. They will move as you evolve. it is a great thing to have dreams that can help us navigate and maybe you will end up the place you wished for. But a lot of details will change during that journey towards it ☺️ Hope it makes sense!

Very well said!

I hope the advice here brings you some solace, @efes

We can't spend our days worrying what will or what won't happen. Well, we can, but what kind of an existence is that? 

Especially in light of the pandemic, I believe we have the opportunity right now to truly live in the moment, and enjoy anything and everything that is presently with you. Keep dreaming, have goals, as that is vital and wonderful! :)but don't beat yourself up with worry that they may not be accomplished. Especially when a goal you have today may have changed by next month, or even tomorrow. And that's absolutely fine!! :) We are always growing and changing and that's a beautiful thing. Try your best to go with the flow - control what you can, manage what you can't. Embrace your dreams as they come and accept if and when they fall away. All that that is doing is clearing the way for new dreams and goals. And if a dream you had doesn't happen, trust that it's because the universe has other, great plans for you. 

I also worry that I'll never be able to accomplish my dream. But I know that even if that's the case, it doesn't mean I'm settling. It just means I'm not a psychic and the universe has other plans for me :)

Best wishes. 

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I would like to add to my previous reply here, Efes, that a person generally shouldn't let o.c.d. symptoms stand in the way of their studies or profession; that you shouldn't give up on studies/profession because (and only because) of o.c.d. symptoms, especially if it's something that you're competent at.

But again: I have no idea what exactly this is all about, who you are, what your dreams are, what your situation is (I haven't read any of your other posts on this forum).

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17 hours ago, hazydaze said:

And if a dream you had doesn't happen, trust that it's because the universe has other, great plans for you.

What exactly do you mean by 'great plans'? In this earthly life or in the life hereafter? And why doesn't 'the universe' have 'great plans' in this life for so many, many other people, for all those who work eight or more hours a day, from Monday to Friday, at dirty and/or tiresome or uninteresting jobs, and thus keep modernized cities functioning, so that those with other jobs can live comfortably?

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