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  • Type of OCD
    Harm OCD

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  1. Nikki I think for your own good no one is going to keep offering what is now food for your compulsions. You have the tools, you know what to do, best of luck!
  2. To put it bluntly, you will never feel "ready". You have to take that leap of faith and just give it your all. Right now is the time you can start, there is absolutely nothing stopping you and like Caramoole said, if you're already suffering doing things this way, what really is the harm in trying something else? So whenever I get an intrusive thought, I will recognise it as just that and carry on with whatever I'm doing regardless of whether it triggers me. I do still get frightened by some of the thoughts that pop into my head, but my anxiety lasts for a MUCH shorter period of time now that I can tell myself its just a thought and not engage with it. Sometimes the anxiety lasts only a couple minutes now. I'm leaps and bounds further ahead than I was a couple months back. You can be too you just have to commit and persevere.
  3. Don't try, just do and see how you feel in a week or 2. It's not an overnight job, but if you persevere with it you will absolutely start to feel ok and not so bothered by this stuff.
  4. Exactly!!!! So don't do it, its that simple If this particular path you're taking leads to more trouble and distress why carry on following it?? it's just too jumbled Nikki, all these worries and then original worries and then trying so hard not to get a new worry to ruin your day all the whilst still worrying about new and original worries from the day before. It's too messy and you're in a state of flux. Collide it, contain it and dismiss it. Focus on what's ahead of you! Rule for today: dont engage with new worries, dont reproduce it in your head, dont try and solve, dont try and dissolve, dont try to "fearfully worry" - I mean this one speaks for itself, if its fearful and creates doubt and let's be honest, doesnt get you anywhere.. DON'T DO IT!! Lol With each reply of yours you dig further and further into a hole, you have to cease and desist.
  5. It's good to laugh about it, OCD hates that! Define "get rid of them" for me. Do you mean you try to hide them away/force yourself to forget them? That should stop too it just makes the thoughts more present in your mind. Try to learn to accept you have a thought that you dont like, but you are prepared to wave at it as it passes by. Also stop seeing it as a problem, and more as an opportunity to know what to do with the thought now that you have the tools you need. As mentioned by many others, when you get a thought, remember it is just a thought and that it is you CHOOSING to react to it by doing compulsions and thinking more deeply about it (one of those being coming on here and telling us about each and every individual thought, and also giving us the extended disco version with all the other thoughts you have because of it lol). I agree with PB, you're making this far too complex for yourself. Strip it back all the way and you will remember that it only started with a thought inside your head, there's nothing you need to do about it!
  6. There's the magic, you don't deal with it at all. Don't need to. The brain is a powerful thing, so once you give attention to a nothing thought you start unwrapping it like a Christmas present.
  7. Hey Nikki, That's exactly it, it's a loop, a vicious cycle. You know you can break that right? Here's the good bit, you do not need to worry yourself over discovering where these thoughts have come from. Something that helped me massively was picturing how my life would be if I just discarded these thoughts and didnt engage with them, I got a rush of excitement it was mad.. and then I thought, "well why dont I?" So I did. And I'm doing better. Have faith in these people on here they speak sense
  8. You will definitely get there, keep faith and apply what the amazing people on here have said and you will start to see the changes
  9. I was anxious all the time too, I hated myself, I wanted everything to end and I didnt care how, believe me i know. I have Harm OCD so I was terrified all the time that I may have harmed someone physically, sexually, when driving. Honestly I've had the anxiety and still do. But with the help from people on here I was encouraged to stop doing compulsions and get on with the day, and it made a massive difference. I'm not saying you're a **** forum member at all and I apologise if you feel that way, you're just not doing what's right for you at the moment. No matter how tough love it can be from members on here, I can honestly say I'm telling you this because I've been exactly there where you are, and I'm honestly trying to help you
  10. Nikki you're not stopping. We mentioned this on your other post yesterday. It's not good for you please don't keep staring down the rabbit hole by posting every couple hours. These are your compulsions and you WILL NOT get better if you keep doing it. This is what is keeping your fears at the forefront of your mind - you feel every time you have an anxious moment you need to post it on here. AND by the look of it if no one replies in time you feel you have to keep asking until you hear back. It's a compulsion. As PB said these are relatively new so there is good time for you to stop this and target your other compulsions too. I too felt I needed to post every other day when I signed up to this site a few months back but it became very clear it was just fuelling my OCD, take it from others on here who know and have experienced the exact same thing as you. You can do this!
  11. Hey Nikki, Sounds like you're really struggling at the moment I've seen your posts regularly though and you have received a lot of tips on dealing with this already. From all your frequent posts it sounds like you're worrying about it constantly. The key here is to stop ruminating - just get on with your day, do stuff. These frequent posts seem to be your compulsions by the look of it, try to cut down on these and tackle each triggering situation with the tools you have learnt already. If this current way of dealing with it isn't working, isn't it worth trying something different? You are looking for guidance on here but you know how to tackle it, it's been covered by others in your posts before. Hopefully this can help you out, I'm sorry to seem blunt but the guidance has been given, you'll see a difference once you start applying it. Hope it goes well, and chin up
  12. Hey Alex, Sounds like you had a pretty bad day. The days that would be bad even for non-sufferers (and this sounds like it qualifies) feel so much worse when you have OCD. The key here is to understand you had a bad day full of different varied emotions which caused you to act a specific way and hold a specific idea about what was going on around you. There will be more bad days like this unfortunately, and with OCD it might feel extra hard but the rules to tackling it remain unchanged. - Dont do compulsions as a result of this emotionally draining day. - Dont go over the day in your head and focus on all the negatives, leave it be. - Focus on the tools you've learned about OCD an implement them as you move forward. Chin up
  13. Nope, they're not anything more than OCD. I've read a few of your posts and they all point to classic OCD trying to mess with you. For 2020 dont do stuff like this anymore, that should be step 1 of your NY resolution. Don't give OCD the satisfaction by engaging with it. Thank you for this post Caramoole, I have a feeling 2020 is my year to succeed 👍👍
  14. You dont have to do anything now, that's the point. You said above you know you should not seek reassurance, and your very next sentence was a compulsion and reassurance seeking. Paradoxer is right - cease and desist.
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