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dksea

OCD-UK Member
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Everything posted by dksea

  1. Being told its OCD won't change anything. Wanting to believe its OCD won't change anything. If you want things to change you have to choose to treat this as OCD, choose to respond to it as OCD, choose to get help for it as OCD, and stick with that. I understand you are suffering, and I am deeply sorry that you are, really. You are desperately wishing/hoping that this goes away, that it gets better on its own, that you wake up one day and things suddenly make sense again. That would be awesome, but its not likely, anymore than I'm likely to wake up tomorrow having lost a bunch of weight and gotten in great shape. Improving your situation takes work. Its not fun, its not ideal, but its reality. If and when you are ready to that we can help support you. But its a choice you have to make, despite the fears ou have that this is something like denying being gay or what not. I know you FEEL like there is all this "evidence". I get it, I've been there. But the problem is you are not thinking straight and so your evaluation of that "evidence" is flawed. You have to trust other people on this, you have to accept that your own judgement has been compromised, you have to make a leap of faith and make a choice. Its up to you, but you aren't alone. I hope you make the choice that gets you the help and recovery you deserve. Its hard work, but its worth it.
  2. Hi @Livelovelaugh, I am sorry to hear what you and your daughter are going through. OCD is hard not just on those of us who have it, but our loved ones as well. I first developed my OCD around 13, and I don't know where I would be now, some 26 years later, without the support of my parents. She may not be able to express it or even realize it now, but she will be grateful for your help later on. In the meantime, I want to thank you on her behalf as someone who has been there before. Like your daughter I was very reluctant at first to take the medication, but it has been a huge help for me and Im so glad I agreed. One thing that helped me accept it was to have it framed as being no different than a diabetic taking insulin, or an asthmatic using an inhaler. Part of her body is not functioning properly, its not her fault, and it doesn't mean anything bad about her as a person, but the medication can help her body to function more like it used to, more like it should. While each persons experience is different, having taken medication for OCD for almost 3 decades now I can say that it has allowed me to live a much more normal life, including going to school, university, having a career, and five years ago, fulfilling a dream of moving overseas (to Japan from the US) to live and work. It hasn't been a perfect journey, and CBT was vital too, but the medication continues to play a big role in helping me. Maybe sharing that with her will help her be more willing to try it. She might also be more willing if you remind her that it doesn't have to be permanent either, if she decides she doesn't like it, you can come off the medicine too. Some people use it only temporarily just to get back to stable ground. I can imagine the reassurance seeking through questions that your daughter is doing would also wear you down. The natural inclination of any loving parent is to try and prevent their child from distress. However, as Gemma wisely (as always) mentions, this is a compulsion, and in the long run compulsions make things worse not better. It was challenging for me at times, but my parents (especially my mom) learned to limit how much I could ask questions and seek reassurance. I'm sure she did so based on discussions with my therapist and other advice from books. Although it frustrated me and angered me at the time, in retrospect I can see that she was doing the right thing, and once I calmed down each time I saw that too. Setting limits and sticking too them will ultimately help both you AND your daughter. Definitely a great topic to discuss with her therapist and the CAMHS team. Best of luck in your continued management of your daughters recovery. Again, she is very lucky to have someone who cares for her and is willing to fight for her and get her the help she needs on her side. You are a hero.
  3. Gotcha, it definitely is a tough situation, but as others have mentioned if your parents have made their choice there isn't a whole lot you can do. Like it or not they are adults too and get to make their own choices, even if we think those choices are not the most wise. It sounds like you have done what you can, you've expressed your concerns, you've pushed for alternate plans to try and mitigate things. Since it doesn't sound like the plans will be canceled, you probably just have to work on accepting that this is what will happen. Life is full of things that are beyond our control, as much as that exacerbates our OCD its simply the way things are. Try to remind yourself that worrying won't change anything, and focus on celebrating this moment with your family. You've done all that you reasonably can, remember you aren't responsible for everyone
  4. I don't know if its more or less cool, but its probably less difficult ? OMG Japanese is hard ? (But cool!)
  5. Good rule of thumb: If you think it might be OCD, it probably is.
  6. Sorry to hear about the trouble you are going through, it sounds very difficult and upsetting and I can understand why you are struggling. One of the frustrating things about OCD is that we can struggle with many different intrusive thoughts, but its important to realize there really are no subtypes of OCD, just OCD. This may seem trivial, but it really does matter, because when we think about OCD as "subtypes" we tend to compartmentalize our recovery and think the things we are learning only apply to that particular "type" of OCD. It also creates the false impression that the contents of our obsessions matter, which is the opposite of what we need to accept in order to overcome OCD. Of course the contents feel upsetting to you, but trust me, whatever your current obsession is it will feel like the worst possible thing in the world, because its what you are troubled by and struggling with now. So I highly encourage you (and everyone) to not think of or label OCD "sub types". It does more harm than good in the end in my experience. Its true, unfortunately there is no quick fix for OCD. And CBT is the best tool there is to fight it. Working with a qualified therapist can make a huge difference in recovery, and I definitely encourage it, especially if you are struggling on your own. But its important to keep in mind that CBT isn't like an antibiotic or something. You don't take it for awhile and then get better. CBT is training, its teaching you how to combat your OCD, how to behave differently every day so you can be in control. The CBT sessions, especially things like ERP can be very important, but the real work is taking what you learn from CBT and applying it in your everyday life. Your therapist is the coach, but you are the athlete, they can train you and advise you, but at the end of the day, you are the one who has to do it. I hope you are able to get the help you need and deserve, including more therapy, but I encourage you to approach that therapy with a mindset of learning, not simply as a thing to check off that on its own will fix things.
  7. Sorry, there is no but "But" is just OCD getting to you again. Sure I can. First, you noticed it because it was an interesting situation. All sorts of situations and "coincidences' happen around you all the time but you just don't notice them because they aren't particularly interesting. Our brains are designed to notice interesting things (like a crow with a shiny object). But just because we notice an interesting thing doesn't mean it has any deeper meaning. It doesn't mean God is "speaking to us" or anything like that. Its simply a thing we noticed, no more, no less. Besides which, so what if you saw the name of someone in a dream and then in real life. Why is that a reason to fear? Even if one ascribed to the belief that these "coincidences" somehow had meaning, why is it you assume they are always negative? Wouldn't it stand to reason there would be positive messages and neutral messages too? So situations you think are meaningful are almost certainly not, but even if they are, it doesn't mean they are bad, or really bad, or really really bad. You are allowing the OCD to run away with your thoughts, to carry you down the deepest darkest path. I understand that situation, I've been IN that situation with OCD too, almost all of us have I'd bet. But that doesn't mean its the right way to behave or the right thing to believe. You have a choice to make, and it won't always be an easy one, but it is what it is. You can choose to continue believing these "coincidences" have some deeper meaning, and allow them to control your life. Based on what you've talked about so far, safe to say that life isn't a very pleasant one. OR you can choose to reject them, choose to accept that this is likely OCD, and if you stop playing by these crazy rules, you will get back control of your life. While your life be perfect? Probably not, none of ours are. But your life will almost certainly be better than being controlled by OCD and "coincidences". Take my advice, take PB's advice. Choose the second path. Choose to stop letting the coincidences run your life.
  8. I understand that you want to figure out "why", but there really isn't anything to figure out. Its OCD. This is how OCD works. It absolutely sucks, but this is what it is. The problem isn't that you can't "figure it out", its that your brain isn't triggering the "ok I figured it out, things are ok" response. You could do an in-depth study with the greatest psychiatrist in history and you still might never feel like you've "figured it out". NONE of which means you are the monster you fear you are. OCD explains your symptoms and anxieties perfectly. THere's no need to dig deeper than that. What you have to do, and I know its hard, is to decide that you are going to treat this as OCD. Period. End of discussion. No analyzing, no "what ifs". Its simply OCD. Again, you desperately want to feel like you KNOW its OCD. I get that, truly I do, we all do. But just because you don't feel that certainty doesn't mean it isn't OCD. You have to decide you are going to treat your situation that way EVEN THOUGH you feel bad, EVEN THOUGH you feel disgusted, EVEN THOUGH you think you might be a monster. That is what will help you. Analyzing and "figuring out why" won't.
  9. Hi @Lilyjune, welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds very frustrating. Dealing with OCD in general, especially when you are new to knowing about it and treatment is tough in normal times, let alone during the current health situation. Its totally understandable you are feeling stressed at the moment, and one thing you can do to help yourself cope is to accept that. Accept that feeling bad right now is reasonable, that you aren't doing anything wrong by feeling anxiety or stress during this situation. Accepting that its ok to feel not ok can, ironically, help you handle feeling not ok better. Normally I like to avoid giving reassurance, it can become a compulsion of course, but since you are new here and your situation is recent, maybe hearing some facts will help you cope at least a little better. First, while its ideal not to get COVID, if you DO get it it doesn't mean death. While the outcome can be quite serious, most people recover from it, and doctors have gotten better at treating it since it began. It sounds like you are on the young end of things given you have a young child so that also works in your favor (even with the asthma). A friend of mine who works as a nurse recently caught and recovered from COVID. She returned to work this week in fact. She has been working in the ER and dealing with COVID patients for months now, and only recently caught it herself. So even if you do happen to catch it, it does not mean your daughter will be left alone. Obviously thats a scary thought, but scary doesn't mean most likely. Unfortunately people get sick for many reasons, so you could be feeling unwell for something having nothing to do with the current health crisis. Obviously its reasonable to be worried, but try and remind yourself what I said earlier: the worst outcome is not the most likely outcome. Its good that you'll be starting CBT with a qualified therapist soon, but you don't have to wait to start making some changes either. There are some great books on OCD, you can find them listed on the main OCD website. I recommend picking up one or two and starting using them to help yourself deal with things. I personally recommend Brain Lock. Another forum favorite is Break Free from OCD. Additionally keeping busy can help you avoid compulsions and anxiety, using relaxation techniques such as mindful meditation can help as well. While limiting/stopping compulsions is ideal, sometimes you are overwhelmed and need to give in. Try your best to avoid them or limit them, but don't feel like you've failed in sometimes you aren't as successful as you'd like. Overcoming OCD is more of a marathon than a sprint. Take your time and try to be patient. It sucks that things can't happen quickly but it is beatable. And finally, if you feel like things are going to hard for you to handle, don't be afraid to reach out to your doctor for additional help. Perhaps while you wait for the CBT to start you can try medication (if you are interested), either for the anxiety or for OCD or both. It need not be permanent, but if you need it to help you get through a stressful time that is reasonable in many circumstances. They might also be able to help you see someone sooner, or suggest some simple exercises you can do to help reduce your stress in the meantime. Try to focus on controlling what you can, but accepting that there are things you can't control, and anxiety and worry won't change that.
  10. Hi @BelAnna, I can't recall where you live (if you have ever mentioned it), but if you live in the US or the UK I would not go to be perfectly honest. The infection rates in both places (as well as many others) are simply too high at the moment, and until a vaccine is available, social distancing and masking are the best options for staying safe and healthy. Perhaps if the event were being held outdoors with a limited number of people it would be one thing, but I imagine this time of year thats not an option, and as you said its an indoor event, even with limited capacity thats still potential problematic depending on how big the indoor space is and how close people will be during the actual event. I understand that a christening can be an important event, and of course most of us WANT to be able to attend these sort of things. I WANT to be able to go home and spend Christmas with my family in America. But it isn't wise at the moment. Many people are having to make the difficult choice to miss out on these events, and its sad of course, but it would be even more sad if your family were to have to deal with an outbreak of COVID amongst themselves. If it were me I would politely decline and send a gift and see if an online option such as either live streaming video of the event or a recorded video you watch later are on option. Your health and your parents health are key factors here, its the prudent choice to make IMO. You DO have a choice, even if its not a pleasant or desirable one. I really really encourage you to stick to your guns on this. Normally I would rule out avoidance due to OCD, but this is a very real situation. Having said all that, if you end up going, for whatever reason, do what you can to be careful and minimize your risk. Wear your mask at all times. Stay as distant as possible during conversations, especially if around people who aren't wearing a mask. Try to avoid being inside as much as possible. Avoid physical contact. Avoid eating or drinking while inside and/or around lots of people. Wash your hands after coming in to contact with people and of course in usual situations like using the toilet. Also, while its ideal NOT to get COVID at all, even if you do get it, its not a death sentence. Doctors have gotten a lot better at treating severe cases. Many people have more mild cases, even with underlying conditions. How much you are exposed to COVID (the initial viral load) appears to make a difference as well in how strong your symptoms are. Its not an all or nothing situation. Bottom line, control what you can control, accept what you can not, and hope for the best. Unfortunately life is full of risks sometimes, some that can't easily be avoided. Perhaps this is one of those times. But I want to reiterate, from a completely non-OCD perspective I think its totally reasonable and in fact prudent not to go to this kind of gathering. Thats the advice of medical experts, not just paranoid OCD sufferers. Just because the gathering is "legal" doesn't mean its medical advisable. Unfortunately there are many leaders around the world who are not following best practices to deal with COVID. Some because they refuse to, some because they feel they have no choice, but either way, it doesn't mean you have to as well. I'm so sorry that you re in this tough position and you might have to miss out on your niece's special day. But better to be around for other special days in the future than risk it on this IMO.
  11. I'll remind you of the rule of thumb I gave up above: If you think it might be OCD, it probably is. And a corollary: If you think it might be a coincidence, it probably is.
  12. You are very welcome! I don’t think you need to permanently stop visiting the forums, it’s a great community and can be very helpful both for advice and simply as a place to connect with others who can understand your struggles. But it can also be good to take a break sometimes, especially if it’s become a compulsion or is fueling your compulsions. I’d take a look at how much time you spend on the forums and why and go from there. As for wisdom, well I’ve been at this OCD thing for quite some time now and have learned a lot of lessons along the way, and I’ve had some great help too from doctors, therapists, books, and this forum. Plus it’s often easier to advise others than apply the advice yourself so don’t let my words fool you, I still make mistakes and am still working on my own OCD journey
  13. Hi @StuckInTheLoop, sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time right now. Relationships are difficult enough without the added burdens of OCD AND a global pandemic. I can empathize with how much this is pulling at you right now. Sending you a virtual hug. I'm glad that you were able to get a diagnosis and are in the process of getting CBT. It doesn't fix things now, but it is good to have that hope for things getting better in the future. OCD recovery is a process, and it takes time, but its definitely worth it. I'm glad you have found this forum, its full of wonderful, caring people who you can hopefully relate to and will help ease your struggles a bit. There are some great resources on the OCD-UK site that you should check out too. Depending on how long it'll take for you to start doing the CBT you might also consider a book or two on OCD to start doing some self-therapy. I'd check with your current therapist to see what they think since you are already working with someone. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship. OCD or no OCD its quite normal to feel bad about the potential end or actual end of a relationship, even IF you know its the right thing to do. Trust me you are far from the first, and definitely won't be the last, to prolong a relationship due to fear of things ending or changing. Something a lot of people with OCD (and probably other mental illnesses) struggle with (myself included) is accepting that sometimes in life we will feel bad. Feeling bad is a normal part of life. It isn't pleasant obviously, but it also isn't the end of the world. Your life will go on. None of us can guarantee the future. Maybe you won't meet anyone, or maybe you'll meet them soon. Some people find love early in life, others late in life, and many in between. If a meaningful relationship is important to you I'd be willing to bet you'll find a good one, so very many people do! But again, its ok to feel bad about what you are losing now, its normal. Its normal to want to avoid unpleasant situations too. Its normal to feel overwhelmed. Its normal to worry even. Given the stress you are under, I understand why you feel like you can't cope, but I'm also willing to bet you will be able to. Will it be a fun journey? Probably not. But you'll get through it, like most people do, one day at a time. The reason I think you'll be able to do it is you seem like someone who has a good head on her shoulders. You are already working with a therapist to get the help you need (and deserve). You helped yourself get the OCD diagnosis you needed. You are clearly respectful and thoughtful about your partners feelings, and also willing to admit your own fears and doubts. To me those are all signs of someone who is capable and caring. Also, give yourself permission not to be perfect in how you feel or even handle the breakup. Its ok to feel angry or bitter or sad or hurt. Its ok to wish it could continue even though you know it shouldn't. You get to feel how you feel and how you feel doesn't have to match up with how you act outwardly. I've been though some breakups too, breakups where I was on the receiving end, and it hurts, but it does get better. I'll end with sharing a few thoughts for you to consider on handling that situation since its the current big deal for you. You mentioned that you aren't sure how you'll handle the conversation. Well maybe its better not to handle it AS a conversation. Your partner may feel like its the "right" or "honorable" thing to do, but maybe a letter (digital or real) would be easier for you to handle right now. In a live conversation you have to respond in the moment. That can be super hard. Maybe you'd be better able to process and respond to a letter. If you feel that way, I think its perfectly OK to ask him to tell you how he feels that way too. That way you can take time to respond, and you won't feel the pressure to handle things right right away. I think its ok to handle the situation differently if thats what suits the situation. Hopefully he will understand and be able to respect that, and let you process this how you need to. Seeking reassurance CAN become a compulsion, which is not good for OCD. But its also a normal part of life, and doing some from time to time in tough situations is healthy and normal. Its just like washing your hands. Too much is bad, but so is too little. I think when you are going through a particularly difficult time, like a breakup, getting some reassurance is reasonable. Finally, I would say there isn't any one "normal" way to handle this kind of stuff. There's a bunch of different ways. And try not to worry about handling it perfectly either. Sometimes we handle things in a messy fashion, and thats ok because its what we need, even if in ideal circumstances we'd like to handle it differently. These aren't ideal circumstances. You've got OCD. There is a pandemic going on. Life is messed up right now. It makes sense how you handle and cope aren't going to be "normal" either. Do the best you can, take care of yourself as best you can. Sometimes just making it through the day is all you can do. And thats ok. Hang in there.
  14. We believe you feel terrible bud, and it sucks that you feel terrible. But feeling terrible doesn't mean you have a reason to. I'm guessing, like a lot of OCD sufferers, part of what's keeping you stuck is that type of thinking "Well I feel terrible that means it must be bad right?" type of thinking. Try to let go of that. OCD is reason enough to explain why you feel terrible. "But what if its not OCD, what if I really AM a monster! I can't take that chance!" Sure you can. And you should. Because chances are you aren't a monster. Chances are its OCD. And if it's not? If you really are a monster? Well, I guess we'll deal with that later. But its like the old saying, better to let 10 guilty men go free than send one innocent man to jail. Except in this case its flipped, more like better to let 1 guilty man go free than send 1,000,000 innocent men to jail. You're willing to condemn yourself to being a monster based on the flimsiest of evidence, we're trying to tell you its better and reasonable to assume you are innocent and are just being plagued by OCD. And I get it, to YOU the evidence doesn't FEEL flimsy. You FEEL genuinely like this is super important and you have done something horrible and unforgivable. What you have to work on to overcome OCD is again to separate how you feel from what that means. Maybe an analogy would help. I've had mild asthma since I was born. Sometimes I have trouble breathing. Even when I was in the BEST shape of my life (around age of 18), doing sports year round, I would still have times where I'd find it hard to breathe. Pretty straightforward right? I had asthma, therefore I would sometimes have trouble breathing. But what if I genuinely believed I was out of shape. After all being out of shape can cause people to have trouble breathing. And I was having trouble breathing. Does what I believe to be true mean I'm right though? Of course not. I wasn't out of shape, I had asthma. That was the truth, regardless of what I felt like. And you have OCD. I know you feel like thats not true, you have doubts (because OCD), but what you FEEL doesn't mean you are right! You want to FEEL like this is OCD. Trust me, I get that. It would make things easier if you felt that way, if you didn't feel doubt about it. Unfortunately thats not always going to be possible. You need to accept that how you feel and what is true don't always match up. You need to make the choice to treat this as OCD, period. Even if you doubt, treat it as OCD. Don't just try and treat it as OCD, treat it as OCD. Make that commitment. Make the decision to assume its OCD every time it comes up. Don't give yourself wiggle room. Say "whenever I have a worry about this topic, I'm going to assume its OCD". If you always treat it as OCD then you don't have to analyze it, you don't have to ruminate on it, you don't have to entertain thoughts of "but what if this time...". You can FEEL doubt, you can FEEL unsure, but you should always default to "its probably OCD". Reassurance seeking @battlethrough Read this. Then read it again. Memorize it. Make it your mantra. This is the core of OCD, this is the problem. Mountains out of ant hills.
  15. Hi @hazel, sorry you are having a rough time right now. I think you have hit the nail on the head already all on your own, you are obsessing about recovery. Its definitely understandable, we all want to get better! And humans are naturally inclined to problem solving, especially OCD sufferers. Analyzing what you did/didn't do and why it worked (or didn't) feels like the right thing to do. But when you over do anything it can become a problem. At the core here I see the same as in all other OCD worries, a desire for certainty. Certainty about what you might have done before that worked. Certainty about what you are doing now and why it isn't working. That sort of thing. Part of recovery is becoming better at accepting uncertainty. You may never know why your previous anxiety faded. It could be a variety of things (you got better at resisting the urge to respond to it, medication, your body chemistry changed somewhat as you got older, a new anxiety took priority, etc.) or some combination of them. Its reasonable to spend some time looking back and seeing if you can learn from your past, but you have to draw the line at some point and stop overanalyzing. You probably won't "figure it out" at this point, and thats ok, you don't have to to continue to overcome OCD. CBT works not because we do it one specific way or in a perfect fashion. It works because the process is a good one. Its also good to accept that recovery isn't a constant forward march. Unfortunately you'll probably have setbacks, you'll probably have times where you feel better and times where you feel not as good. Again there are many reasons why, stress, hormones, medication changes, etc. If you can identify some of those triggers and eliminate or reduce them, great, but you might not always be able too, and again spending an inordinate amount of time trying to analyze is likely to do more harm than good. Trust me, I understand the urge to analyze, as a software test engineer its literally my job to analyze problems and find the cause. And I fight it myself when it comes to OCD. What is a skill in one area is a burden in the other. Aside from continuing to work at applying the refocus/relabel/sit with anxiety steps, also try and limit the analysis, not just of the anxiety but of your recovery steps. Mindful meditation or other relaxation techniques might help you slow your speeding mind. I'd say pick one or two areas to focus on and try one or two things for awhile to see if it helps. You're going to want to analyze your actions and keep trying new things to get the "right" one, but you'd be better served picking something and sticking with it for awhile. Then you don't have to constantly analyze. You probably will at first, but you can remind yourself "no, I'm not going to do this, I'm going to keep trying this technique for X amount of time and only THEN will I consider whether its working or not". Its going to require self discipline, which is not always easy or fun, but its definitely doable. Thats certainly possible. In which case its good to remind yourself of that and take a wait and see approach. I know you want to get better sooner rather than later, we all do, but like it or not, patience is one of the most powerful tools against OCD. Do your best to be patient. I know it sucks, but its better than driving yourself nuts overanalyzing and digging a deeper hole for yourself. Good luck!!
  16. It can feel overwhelming and unchangeable, and if you try and change it all at once it probably is. But you don't have to change it all at once. Rumination is a choice, but its also a habit, and habits are hard to break, especially ones you have done for so long. I highly recommend the 4 Step method from Brain Lock (and Brain Lock in general). Why? Because it's simple, you don't have to try and remember a lot of steps or information. It really helped me with my rumination. Also, setting achievable goals is important. Your first goal shouldn't be to stop ruminating. Your first goal should be to get better at recognizing when you are ruminating. Once you become aware of it, then you can start to work on trying to break the habit. But again, you don't have to stop all at once and you shouldn't expect to. At first you may only be able to stop yourself from ruminating for a short time before you start doing it again. Then you just repeat the process. If you have to remind yourself 100 times in a day that you are ruminating and need to stop, thats ok. Try to get it down to 95 times in a day, then 90, etc. Small, sustained change can result in a big difference over time. Lets say you get just 0.1% better each day. Thats a tiny amount. But over a year you'll have gotten 36.5% better. Thats a big difference. In less than 3 years its 100% better. 3 years may seem like a long time, or a short time, depends on your frame of reference. If you've been dealing with OCD your whole life and you are 30 or 40 or 50, 3 years isn't that long really. You've been suffering FAR longer after all. Does it suck we can't cure OCD over night? Absolutely. Can we change that right now? Unfortunately no. You can change things for the better, slowly, over time, but you have to take the right approach to do so, and stick with it. Finally, OCD recovery isn't a straight path, and almost always has ups and downs. Sometimes you'll feel bad, and that sucks, I wish you didn't have to, but its not all the time. Its ok to feel bad sometimes. Its ok to be angry about having OCD, or feeling some depression, or lots of other emotions. As long as its sometimes. Give yourself permission to feel not ok all the time, thats normal. But try not to let the bad times make you believe that its ALWAYS going to be bad. Thats a lie, an OCD lie. You don't have to believe OCD's lies.
  17. Stopping compulsions is hard, its normal not to be able to do it cold turkey. Most of us take time and effort to reduce and then eliminate our compulsions. Resisting confessing for awhile is a great start! Next step, try and consider some ways that you can further reduce your confessions. In addition to working at confessing less frequently, you could also try some other things, such as reducing the amount of details you share when you confess. Another option, instead of confessing to people, write down your confession in a journal or a text file on your computer or something but don't share it. Sometimes just typing/writing out the words is enough. You can delete/destroy the confession if you want afterwards or keep the journal to look back on in the future to see how far you've come. We understand how hard this is for you, we aren't mad at you, we just want you to get the help you need and to feel better!
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