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  1. Intrusive thoughts are obviously a core part of OCD, but I was interested in how everyone experiences these thoughts? For me, my intrusive thoughts are kind of like a permanent, buzzing cloud inside my head - like a swarm of angry bees. It's always there, but at certain times one particularly vicious bee might fly out of the swarm and make itself known. With CBT, I've got better at not paying attention to those bees, but the swarm is still always there, buzzing away in the background. How do other people experience their thoughts?
  2. So sorry to hear you're struggling, Cub. I'm not sure what advice I can give other than what I usually try to tell myself when going through an especially bad patch... you are really strong, but you also have a serious mental health condition, so you need love, care and support. That can come from others, but you can give it to yourself too - after all, we know how best we feel and how much of a struggle it can be. You said it's hard for you to take days off, but is that something you could do if you're feeling especially rubbish? I used to feel bad about taking mental health days off, but I try and equate it to physical health now... no one would expect you to come hobbling into work if you were having a physical health crisis.
  3. This looks beautiful, thanks for sharing. Do let us know when we can watch the full film anywhere. I love your book. Can I ask - did they keep the 'POCD' theme of your book? Or is the film more loosely based on your experiences?
  4. Torsa

    Cure my OCD

    That's interesting - I didn't know the full backstory around Smart TMS. The treatment makes little sense to me... OCD is such a complex and embedded thing, and I really can't see how zapping the brain with magnetic fields would have any benefit, apart from maybe via the placebo effect. I really hope he's able to get the help he needs... which I agree is probably some good quality, intensive CBT.
  5. Powerful film on the BBC homepage today: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-49501432/cure-my-ocd-i-thought-i-d-killed-someone I'm a bit skeptical about TMS - would be interested to hear if anyone on here has had experiences with it.
  6. Torsa


    Hi Irene, I think many of us who've been struggling with OCD for a long time have similar experiences. I know that when I first realised I had OCD a few years ago it seemed so bound up in my identity and personality that I had no idea how I'd even go about tackling it - by that point, I'd been engaged in the OCD loop for around 15 years, and I couldn't imagine living any differently. As with anything that affects us on a day-by-day (or minute-by-minute) basis, OCD can become a huge part of our identity. But that doesn't mean you can't start making steps to get better. I think we all have some resistance when it comes to getting better - after all, we've been engaged in this thing for so long, and it's become a kind of safety blanket. But as you say, it's not really a safety blanket because it has huge impacts on our wellbeing. It might not seem it to you, but you've made a massive step just by recognising the problem and exploring the possibility of getting better. You don't need to get better overnight - recovery is a gradual process. Take your time, read up about OCD and how it can be treated with CBT, keep doing the things you love, find people who you can speak to about what you're going through - whether that be family, friends, or healthcare professionals. And the OCD community is here for you too - there are a lot of us, and we're all going through remarkably similar things.
  7. Compulsive obsessive disorder...?! COD...🐟
  8. Yeah, I've watched the first three episodes on All4, so am halfway through now. I've got mostly positive feelings towards it so far. Like you, it's probably not something I'd watch if I didn't have OCD (it doesn't really tickle my funny bone... not really my kind of humour), but I think it'll really help to raise awareness of this form of OCD. I found some bits pretty cringe-y when she get's diagnosed with OCD - you'll probably see which bits I mean when you get there! But I also appreciate that they have to make it work as a drama and make things more dramatic than they often are! My main concern was that it would ramp up the 'comedy' aspect of the intrusive thoughts (we all know there's not much comedy in OCD) at the expense of getting across the real pain of the disorder, but I'm glad they seem to be showing the hardship of it. I think they could go deeper with showing her struggle, but will reserve judgement until I've watched the whole series... They've ultimately set out to do something which is really, really difficult - visualising someone's intrusive thoughts. The sexual theme probably makes the most sense, as this is something they can be creative with and can actually show on TV. A lot of the time, it does seems like she's having hallucinations rather than 'thoughts', but I can't really think of another way they could have done it. It got me thinking about how something like this would work as a radio play, making the intrusive thoughts auditory instead of having to show them visually. For me, Rose's book was more effective, but I'm glad they've made this series, and it's never a bad thing that more people will hear about OCD and the concept of intrusive thoughts.
  9. I've certainly had feelings of irreality too and thoughts like "what if everything's fake?", and I try to treat them like all my other intrusive thoughts - i.e. letting them go and getting on with my day. Obviously I'm not an expert, but your wording does sound like the usual kind of reaction to intrusive thoughts. OCD is always trying to challenge us with new kinds of intrusive thoughts and come up with new ways to make us feel anxious (hey, I bet you haven't thought about this one yet!), so I'd just try to treat them as you do the other types of thoughts.
  10. Yeah, am a big fan of OCD Stories... Stuart is doing some wonderful work for the OCD community.
  11. Hi TimeToStop, I've struggled with similar things to you over the years - I also have OCD and have had problems with excessive usage of internet porn and chatrooms. You've recognised it's a problem, and that's the first thing. It took me ages to recognise/accept that I have an addiction, as that's such a loaded word. My one piece of advice would be: don't tell yourself that you're going to stop doing this thing immediately. I used to try going 'cold turkey', and that never worked. It just makes the pull even stronger. Instead, I suggest taking it day by day. When you get the urge in the evening to go online, take a step back and think - do I really need to log on? Is there something else I could do instead that's not going to make me feel so sh*tty afterwards? Could I do some reading around OCD? Could I look after myself and get an early night? And if you do decide to do that, congratulate yourself and feel proud. You say you're in the habit of masturbating when you go online... so why not try to enjoy masturbating by yourself. I recognise that this in itself can become a habit, but it's healthier than going online for hours, and you might also find that the urge to go online diminishes afterwards. And if you do go on the chatrooms, don't beat yourself up. Recognise that this is a long journey. You're going to slip up - that's the nature of it. That's just part of being human. OCD is a terrible thing to deal with, and the only way to beat it is with a lot of self-love and compassion. I'm still on the journey myself, but this is the advice I'd give based on what I've experienced so far - hope it's helpful.
  12. A snippet from this doc on hoarding was shown at the OCD conf in Glasgow: https://vimeo.com/603058 Worth adding to the list I think!
  13. I think the best doc I've seen recently was the BBC Wales one by Ian Puleston-Davies. It's still on iPlayer: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b08lq2qf/week-in-week-out-ocd-an-actors-tale The Irish doc OCD and Me was also very good, but I can only find the trailer on YouTube now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cljUOxES-9U
  14. This is amazing news... please keep us updated with progress!
  15. 2) I definitely find the mornings harder, especially if I've not slept well. It's that feeling of "argh, not another day of this again". But then as the day progresses, as I put into practice the CBT tricks I've learnt, things generally tend to ease off slightly.
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