Avo

Hi gbg I followed a similar path going from 20 to 40 mg daily, which remains my current dosage. Can't honestly remember mood wise as I was in a bit if a bad way at the time struggling with OCD and various other things quite up and down really. I don't remember any of my initial side effects returning when I upped the dose though. I am guessing but it could just be coincidence , you said you didn't really have any side effects when you initially started on the medication ?

Well said Andrea This is indeed a wonderful charity that has helped so many people myself included. I am glad it can help people no matter where in the world they are. That's a definite upside of online communities and social media platforms.

I have had a quick look at the leaflet with my fluoxetine, these symptoms do seem to be on there. In terms of how long into your course these take effect - its not very clear on this. I can't with all certainty advise on that part of it., I know people are different. I didn't get all my side effects immediately and some went before others also. Just thinking - do you think its possible these are part of your caffeine withdrawal?

I agree with Lost Roy - in many ways your the backbone of these forums. I think this Forum needs regulars who stick around and share their knowledge. its great people get better and move on - that's the aim of the boards but its nice when others stay around and maybe re-pay the kindness shown to them and help out others you have done lots on that score. Glad you will at least stick around in the members area to discuss a lot of non OCD related topics, the shambles of brexit for example. Take care, don't be away too long.

I can identify with the subtle compulsions GBG, keeping a certain theme going. These can often be low level and almost like a habit and in my overall way of thinking, just there in the back ground almost in our subconscious. I was in therapy about 2 years ago and I was massively in distress I felt I could not stop thinking about a certain topic and it was making me ill. My therapist got me to sit down with a piece of paper and actively try to realise the substance of these compulsions and write down what they were and when they happened, is this something you think you could do? in terms of not finding it too distressing? I found it helped me to understand a bit more and realise just how many subtle compulsions I was performing -it was mainly ruminating. - often these were internal things like arguing with myself - going down scenarios in my mind on hypothetical situations. If you can step back its surprising and revealing how many compulsions however small we perform. If you can do this it at least gives you a starting point to recognise what and how often you are doing these compulsions.

You have been through some very tough times Saz, and its perfectly understandable for you to be feeling upset and aggrieved at the situation. I can't explain why someone would treat another person like that. As Roy says there are decent people out there and hopefully you will find one. Life can be very hard at times. I think looking after yourself as much as possible is great advice, you can always turn to these boards for support. Take care.

Hi Belanna, I am still on fluoxetine, I have been for 3 years now, I started in July 2016. I think I do find it helpful, I had a review at the end of march and we agreed to keep me on it for another 12 months and review then, there are a number of life stressors at the moment so we decided not to 'rock the boat' by coming off them I don't know how I would react without them, I am open to the idea of trying to reduce them but now doesn't seem quite right.

Hi GBG, I took around 2 weeks to notice a difference, I did suffer with side effects but these subsided roughly After this time frame. I did find I felt a bit more balanced as if they had taken the 'edge' off my worries. My wife also noticed me seem slightly more light and engaged. I had my dosage increased around 9 months into the course from 20mg per day to 40mg per day. Hope this helps. Avo

No worries GBG, Although from a slightly different angle I have had relationship worries myself so I know how you feel. I know how distressing it can be. you can get better though - that's the good news.

I think the same GBG, it sounds like your Dad must have gone along with things to enable this to happen. He surely must have had times when he had a different opinion or viewpoint but maybe didn't air his views? I am not disputing that they are happy but just trying to say that I feel its possible to be happy in your relationship despite arguments from time to time. I think there is more than one way to work at a relationship, no way is right or wrong its a case of how the 2 personalities relate.

I don't think anyone has a perfect relationship GBG, they are things I think you have to work at over the years. Do you believe your mum on this? (sorry I am not trying to be rude or speak out of turn about her tell me to back off I wont be offended)

I went privately back about 10 yrs ago. To be fair I found my therapist very good and of course you don't have the potential of waiting for so long on the NHS. It wasn't cheap but at the time my wife and I had more disposable income at and I think where health is concerned - mental or physical it can be money well spent. I am sure you will but do make sure that the therapist is well versed in OCD. They may be able to tell if there are other things going on and could possibly recommend a route (I should say I have had very good treatment on the NHS too) My wife and I have had some big arguments over the years - we have not always laid everything to rest - I have a habit of not moving on in her eyes - which to a point may be a fair one. My relationship with her parents is a strained one due to a time when we worked with them in a business, this always causes arguments between us even now some 5 years down the line as they are heavily involved with are lives and as a lot of grandparents do they dote on my son who is their only grandchild . This does simmer over now and then. We I think have agreed to disagree on the subject. Is it supressing things by not reaching a resolution? maybe but I know in the bigger picture our overall relationship is more important and not hopefully strong enough not to let it overtake everything. not saying that's ideal but it is kind of where we are at with it. we agree on 95% of everything else. Also it probably feels bigger to you as your ruminating about it, which elevates and magnifies everything. If you can achieve a situation where it is not being ruminated on it will almost certainly feel less intense.

If only it were that easy - OCD would be a doddle to beat yet ruminating is such a difficult habit to break. How are you coping with starting your fluoxetine GBG? in terms of CBT are you on a waiting list currently? Sorry your confidence has crumbled so much lost - jobs are hard to come by, even voluntary ones. The world of work unpaid or paid is a tough one. I do a pretty ordinary Job where you don't need qualifications as such - just a decent work ethic. There are people at my work with qualifications galore yet they are struggling to get anything near their level of expertise and are saddled with a lot of student debt on a wage way below what they initially thought they would be earning given their level of education. I think that is quite typical across the country. The Jobs market is tough and Job hunting is stressful and hurtful I have had plenty of knock backs you just have to try and not take it personally I am sure it was their loss for not taking you on.

Hi GBG, How are you this evening? how are you finding the fluoxetine? have you already referred for CBT? I know black and white thinking is an issue for OCD, accepting the 'grey area' which often means uncertainty is a tough but I think important step. Heck I still struggle at times myself so I know how difficult it can be. People have their faults this is just being human - as you said yourself, putting your partner on a pedestal one that I am sure she has not asked to be put on is not fair on her or you. from what I know of you - you seem a nice person who is beating herself up - due mainly to OCD. I hope your a tad better this evening - or at least enjoying some distraction from the ruminating and beating yourself up? (my day at work was eventful to say the least thanks for asking - I may mention on another thread but I do sometimes wonder if Peter Kay is looking for material for a new show he should spend a few days at my place)

Hi gbg Sorry to hear your feeling so low. Glad to hear your looking Into more CBT. I Know you have not had the best experience in the past. However it doesn't mean you can't have a better experience this time round. Also it's maybe not a bad thing you are taking the flouxetine , it's certainly worth a try. It may help balance you out a little and able to embrace the therapy. It certainly did that for me. I think can't type much more now as I am a break at work it's a case of 'one of those days!' for me today. I will try and pick up the thread later today if possible. Try and stay strong.

Hi njb, I agree that OCD loves a chance to take hold - often when life stressors happen it see's its chance. your not alone these boards are always here and there some vary caring and compassionate people with great advice, most people on here are sufferers or ex sufferers can often relate to our anxieties.

Hi dksea thanks for your reply I suppose we can't control our dreams as you rightly say. Its difficult to avoid going down that ruminating path. Hi Gemma, Thanks for your response I am trying not to get too caught up in my ruminating. - how are you doing? I have not seen you on the boards for a little while. Hi njb Thanks for your response - its just so easy to get drawn into the spiral of obsessing over things - so many triggers on TV the internet and real life. I have been slipping of late with compulsions, I worry if I see someone -a woman I find attractive I worry if incase I am not realising they are actually a child!? I have taken to reassurance seeking and checking via the internet to check they are indeed an adult which I know is a massive compulsion! that's one of many examples of compulsions I have / sometimes still do. OCD is such a cruel disorder. Thanks for your response - hope your doing a bit better?

Hi All, Overnight I had a very unpleasant dream that involved my OCD theme around children, and of course waking up in the middle of the night for the loo - as a man a full bladder can sometimes lead to having an erection, at least I am hoping that was the cause as I woke up in middle of night needing the toilet after this dream. I don't remember covering dreams in CBT - Am I supposed to treat a dream like and intrusive thought? and dismiss despite its content? and the possible physical cause I expect that's all I can do as I know ruminating over it will not help! sorry to have to post its just I am in a bit of a whirl with this one. Any advice is gratefully received. Thank you

Greatpost dksea , excellent Insight. As someone who struggles with this theme myself you have summed the process up perfectly.

For me a good description of OCD is that is makes me very self-absorbed. If I am really caught up in an OCD episode of anxiety / rumination I can go very distant and my wife often asks me 'where have I gone' as in mentally. I fail to properly engage with life and others I become a passenger at home - almost like I am on autopilot not living just existing. This can have a massive impact on those close to us.

Great to hear such a positive update Wonderer, so pleased your doing so well. keep up the good work

Try and remember GBG that these moments can and do pass. While we are in them they are horrible but its at these moments we have to rely on what we have learned and trust in the process. Its OCD testing you - it doesn't go down without a fight. Try and be aware of its tricks. Can you use some of the techniques you have had success with in the past to help ?

I watched this yesterday. It was very brave of Nadiya to open up about her anxiety on national TV. It sounds like she really went through it during her childhood. Bullying is really such a shocking and disgusting behaviour. I think there were OCD tendencies such as the magical thinking around saying her family names before going to sleep as a child however I am sure if OCD was also at play then it would have been mentioned by Prof Salkovskis. I agree it maybe was a tad misleading in the type of therapy Nadiya received i.e getting to be seen by someone of Prof Salkovskis standing, I know some people have waited an awful long time - over a year on some occasions to access therapy and its generally someone in your local IAPT provider.. If the programme could have explained that waiting times do vary an awful lot depending on where you live. - Very much a postcode lottery. I think any programme - well produced and thoughtfully done about mental illness can only be a good thing, people such as Nadiya do have a platform that many of us don't to raise awareness. I also watched the David Harewood documentary, this was again very brave of him talking about his psychosis in his younger days. A well produced programme and again hats off to David for his openness and honesty.

HI GBG Try not to get mixed up in using a fact and comparing it to a core belief. Yes the earth is round - its a proven fact through science and exploration. I think there are very few facts when it comes to the human behaviour scale, just opinion and interpretation. It seems to me this is the heart of the matter you think you a bad person? is that a fact? no?, its your interpretation. Have you done things your not proud of in the past? yes - as has everyone else The main difference to me is that your OCD has leapt onto this and is having a field day. its possible to be a decent person while having done things wrong. You using what happened years ago to colour your character today. You seem a bright person to me but I think your getting bogged down in the fog which when we are in the midst of an OCD episode we have all have been at times. I did this quite a bit myself at times. Your interpretation of your past is just that an interpretation, yes you may have done things you are not proud of but it doesn't make you a bad person all told. I also think you are not really accepting that people have done wrong in their past as well but don't punish themselves like you do. You did some things you are not proud of but how long do you punish yourself for? 5 yrs,? 10 yrs? 15yrs? If this was your partner saying this to you about her past - or indeed anyone else - what would you say to them? I feel that you would be of a fairly even minded opinion and that they should not indeed be punishing themselves for doing wrong in the past - or maybe put another way - being a human being. you need to apply that to yourself too. Ultimately if you ruminate enough about something you could convince yourself of almost anything, every time you analyse this your doubt grows, it seems you are on hyper alert for anything you deem to have done wrong in the past and OCD is throwing it at you with relish. Have you ever tried some kind of self-compassion type therapy? I think you would truly benefit from it. Along with making a big attempt to break this pattern on rumination over your past. It has to be broken for you to move forward. sorry if this is a bit incoherent, I have been trying to type while 'multi-tasking' not sure how successful its been. Wanted to try and help if I can.

Great news lynz, really well done on your progress and congratulations on your up coming wedding !