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OCD-UK Member
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About taurean

  • Birthday 27/04/1950

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Northampton, England
  • Interests
    Olympics (especially London 2012),Athletics,Swimming,Photography, Astronomy, Archaeology, Antiques Programmes on TV,Art. Choral and Classical Music, Jazz, Fishing, Aerobic Exercise, Gardening, National Trust, Wildlife

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  1. Ever wondered why millions of people, including us, feed and water birds and find sheer enjoyment in sharing their lives? Well exactly the latter. They enjoy observing them and the food and drink is a help and encouragement. Do we worry about their poo and pee. No siree. Can the poo be dangerous? Possibly, if you say so. But is that a risk we should be focusing right in on, exaggerating its potential? No. Obsessively thinking about so it affects daily life? No. Bird poo is a fact of life. And if you happen to be keen RSPB members like we are, then it's more a feature of life.
  2. It is possible to recover if we are motivated enough to push ourselves to make it happen. And if that motivation happens to be strong, then it is more likely we will stick at it. So let's look at motivation, find it and use it to keep us going until victory is won. Many years ago I had a very sweet tooth - indeed I took two spoons of sugar in tea and coffee - really unhealthy. So my wife sponsored me to go twenty cups without sugar, and if I managed it she would give a sum of money to my operatic society, who needed donations. That motivated me. The first few cups were awful, seemed to taste horrendous. Then the slightly bitter taste of the coffee began to win me over and I approached the gain line between failure and success, burst through it, kept going and won the challenge. Beating OCD is like that challenge - tough at first but at some point starts to become a whole lot better. Let's try and get more people out of giving up before they approach the gain line. Often it seems to be hovering in the distance and yet they don't reach it.
  3. Fighting OCD in order to recover is difficult, and the path to glory is littered with tales of those who failed in some way or another. Why this happens is something that personally concerns me and is a focus of some of the advice I seek to give on here. But maybe our problem is we just aren't motivated enough to work at the CBT and the changes in thinking and behavioural changes we have to work on, including some challenging exposure and response prevention. So perhaps an additional incentive is needed to encourage us to do this and keep at it. So why not do it for those loved ones in particular, and close friends, that really matter to us, and indeed may rely on us? They are major stakeholders in us, probably badly affected by our illness, desperate for us to make progress and make their life with us easier. I did it for my wife, as well as myself. She badly needed me to get better to help and support her as she has disabilities. She supported me in many ways. I needed to play my part - and the OCD inhibited that. That added incentive kept me focused through my therapy journey and on to a much better mental place.
  4. I think we should, with acknowledgement to Gilbert and Sullivan and their light operetta "H. M. S. Pinafore," give "three cheers and one cheer more " to those wonderful other halves and close friends who DO guide and support us on our journey towards recovery. Many others sadly don't and a lot of awareness raising is still needed. But nevertheless the real work has to be done by the sufferer. And we have to go into the "war zone" in structured "war games" in order to, slowly but surely, unwind the layers of rules and restrictions that have built up on our own OCD onion. We can all do this Phil, we need to gain the belief that we can, then roll out the hard work.
  5. It's not a "cold turkey" process Phil. You can't just do it. That may be the goal, but you gradually work towards that. So must we all. So have I and things that would totally floor me before just don't bother me now. So, whilst it just now might seem impossible, that will gradually move along the scale to improbable, then possible and so on. It's softly softly catchee monkey.
  6. But that is surely playing into the hands of the OCD, supporting a compulsion which suggests there is something to fear. The point is that there isn't. Sufferers have to learn to accept this and expose themselves to what frightens or revulses them. The urge to confess, replace, surrender to the police for crimes OCD says we have committed or whatever the OCD theme must be faced up to. No-one is going to recover without weaning off the carrying out of compulsions. Kicking the can further down the road won't help.
  7. We can't obey a rule that everything has to be free of everything else at all times. And if we "see" something, it doesn't then - magically - become a problem, where none was perceived before. If I hadn't faced up to the attempted rules of my OCD I would never have been able to leave my house, never been able to go to work. OCD's rules are fabrications and exaggerations
  8. Phil there is nothing going on around you that isn't going on in miriads of other homes. It's YOU that has to change. Change your interpretation of what OCD is telling you to do. Understand it lies and grossly exaggerates. Change your demand for absolute cleanliness. Learn to cast off revulsion, as I and others do. There will be anxiety as you go through this process, but then it will ease away - as it has done in my case. Only YOU can make this happen.
  9. But only you see this as a threatening risk. Your behavioural response is a learned behaviour - it can be unlearned through CBT. BUT you must be prepared to undergo some short term pain for long-term gains. Don't waste the time and money you will have paid for the CBT. Rather, be ready to believe and engage with that, and look to handle it professionally and well.
  10. Yep doing fine Wonderer, all thanks to help from the charity forums and my therapists. As you said, it's not just about learning what we ought to be doing - we have to put in the work to make that happen, and consistenly - only we can do that.
  11. Wonderful news Wonderer, thank you so much for updating us
  12. We are taking some time out to enjoy this lovely garden, and to get out and about our new hometown of Northampton. Plenty of places to go, such as Althorp House and grounds, various other country houses and gardens, the canals and the canal museum, country parks. Mentally we are both good and looking forward to this period of time.
  13. N. B. Remember not to try and neutralise the intrusions. You know how this form of OCD works don't you, so leave them be and just let them play on if they do. You know that the OCD is taking your real core character value and alleging the opposite, and you know it lies. Take plenty of comfort and strength from that.
  14. This is a situation I regularly faced with my OCD and work. It was episodic. In an episode I would get up and go into work and put on the family act (we were all amateur singers/actors, with one of us a pro). Only those closest to me would know I was suffering with constantly-repeating OCD intrusions, so feeling anxious. But I just ignored them even if they played on in the mental background and got on with my job.
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