Jump to content


OCD-UK Member
  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About taurean

  • Birthday 27/04/1950

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Northampton, England
  • Interests
    Olympics (especially London 2012),Athletics,Swimming,Photography, Astronomy, Archaeology, Antiques Programmes on TV,Art. Choral and Classical Music, Jazz, Fishing, Aerobic Exercise, Gardening, National Trust, Wildlife

Recent Profile Visitors

30,669 profile views
  1. taurean

    Dealing with shame

    Hi cub Coming back to feelings of hurt and resentment at being held back by your mental issues whereas others can progress, I identify with that. It was certainly true for me. I had the qualifications and experience to be a Director with my own department, but not the mental health to be able to do this. So I decided to make the best of what I could do, and exchanged some client work for training and mentoring others - I thoroughly enjoyed that, plus it wasn't stressful. So there may be some way that you could ask for them to rejig your work to make it more fulfilling without adding stress. 
  2. taurean


    Oops sorry Skippy posted onto wrong thread. Will copy over to cub's. Roy
  3. taurean


    Hi cub Coming back to feelings of hurt and resentment at being held back by your mental issues whereas others can progress, I identify with that. It was certainly true for me. I had the qualifications and experience to be a Director with my own department, but not the mental health to be able to do this. So I decided to make the best of what I could do, and exchanged some client work for training and mentoring others - I thoroughly enjoyed that, plus it wasn't stressful. So there may be some way that you could ask for them to rejig your work to make it more fulfilling without adding stress.
  4. taurean


    It's a step in the right direction, Skippy. Maybe see if you can build on it by practising refocus away to benefial involved activities. And shifting to in the present in the moment thinking (mindfulness) takes us away from that part of the brain where we obsess and compulse, and into a benign area where we are totally wrapped up just in the here and now immediately around us. This can break that chain of constant ruminations. All the best Skippy Roy
  5. taurean

    Existential OCD

    There is never any point in worrying. Concern perhaps, worry no.
  6. taurean

    Dealing with shame

    Hi cub Treat the temper thing as OCD, it's like my harm theme. Don't fall for it, it's attacking your true core values. Re the stress, check out my tips on my topic today. Cheers Roy
  7. Got a head cold. But taking Contac and getting out and about anyway! 

  8. Phil, the OCD "standards" are actually restrictive rules that no one else would give any thought to. You no more need to replace your rucksack than I need to replace my mobile phone, which I just laid on the table in my local cafe. It's stuff and nonsense to anyone but someone who not only has contamination OCD, but also your particular take on contamination OCD. This is a chance to "break" those rules, and realise that nothing bad will happen as a result. Resistance is NOT futile in standing up to the compulsions "demanded" by OCD.
  9. taurean

    Norovirus fear

    Hi BelAnna. You WILL need to go through the ERP hierarchy process in order to get better. It matters not which themes of OCD we have - the sufferer needs to work through that process. Have I done it? Yes. Was it easy? No. Is it the best thing I ever went through? No, but it's right up there as Dksea says, it's short-term pain for long term gain. I struggled with the news. Unpleasant headlines used to leap out of the print and stick in my mind. I struggled watching TV in case I got spooked by a sudden violent-themed trailer. I couldn't watch films with any kind of violent content. I had problems travelling because of posters and news screens. And now? None of those things are a problem. And if a trigger should pop up, I can gently ease it away without focusing on it. I needed to first understand the cognitive side. Harm OCD was targeting my true core values and alleging the opposite could be true. Then I was able to gradually work up the hierarchy of ERP, experiencing the anxiety, repeating the exposures in targeted - then freely-encountered untargeted - timings until the anxiety disappeared. With contamination issues, it's all about an exaggerated reaction to a nil or minimal threat. We have to realise that first, then work the ERP. Without this cognitive understanding, and acceptance, it is not going to work. I was helping a school worker recently who feared a discarded plaster (band aid in some territories) on the floor would harm the cleaner then possibly others. To us that seems a nil or impossibly unlikely scenario, but to her it was a potential catastrophe. This catastrophic thinking element of OCD is what we must disconnect in ERP to stop cycles of anxiety perpetuating.
  10. Time and again we will read on here that a forum member has sufferered a period of stress and as a consequence their OCD has worsened; this is quite commonplace. But perhaps we then tend to focus on the OCD, when we might best also be looking at becoming less stress-prone, more resistant to stress. Based upon my own experiences as one for whom stress used to be such an issue, here are some ideas that may help, or at least provide some calm and comfort. Get Organised and Manage Your Time I went on two time management courses at work and emerged a new man. There are self-help books and online resources to help with this but, if your firm offers access to a course, I recommend it. Declutter Only work on one thing at a time, and create projects with sensible timescales. Use an efficient diary system, and plan any external visits in a practical co - ordinated way leaving time to catch up on clerical matters. Structure the Week Working a timetable plan for the week anchors us into a familiar routine. And by going to the gym Wednesday evening, when working, I effectively broke the week up into two halves. Work/Life Balance If we are too focused on work, homelife and relationships suffer. We all need time for domestic and relationship matters - including paperwork, cleaning, me-time, couple-time and family time. Shout if You Are Struggling Employers must comply with workplace regulations which will likely require them to take action if an employee is suffering from work-related stress. Remedial actions might be a reduction in workload or tasks if these are too much and causing the stress. Friends and partners can help with other stresses. Often some simple changes can make a big difference. When my wife and I both had executive jobs we brought in a cleaner and she made a massive difference to our lives for a modest weekly outlay. Friends Into "Cold Storage" Choose friends wisely and don't be afraid to say no. If sensible, take time out from certain friendships to concentrate on doing other things that have to be done. Managing Family Illnesses And Deaths If someone is ill reschedule tasks so everyone is helping. Don't panic or worry - it's pointless and just makes things worse. Be concerned, but not worried. Accept the cycle of life, and sometimes our inability to control it. We once lost a dear cat to cancer at only the age of 8. And we lost a nephew killed in action in Afghanistan. Advice from the army included this pearl of wisdom - treat his life as full, even though it ended at only 25. Our elderly relatives will likely at some point get ongoing illnesses, and at some point they will die. Advice given us, which gave us great solace, by my wife's uncle was to the effect that as we go through life we get better at dealing with death, and that is I think true. But it helps to expect it. We can't put people in cotton wool and keep them going. When a life ends then I have found it best to give thanks for it rather than get overly distressed for losing it. My grandmother passed to my mother great advice. When we die, consider our bodies as simply overcoats for which we no longer have a need. That has always comforted and sustained me. As also the concept that those that remain take on the baton of life from the deceased, bringing continuity. Learn Some Relaxation Skills And Take Some Exercise Simple meditation is an easy way to reduce blood pressure and tension. Aerobic Exercise burns off the stress chemicals adrenaline and cortisol. At work wherever possible I would go for a walk in the lunch hour. When I learned to manage stress and stop irrational Non -OCD worries my resilience to illness, and OCD, significantly improved. Hopefully this piece will serve to help others do the same.
  11. taurean

    Norovirus fear

    I think a good perception of what meds can do is act as "water wings" to hold the sufferer afloat in a sea of distress, balance mood swings and enable them to be able to engage with CBT therapy. The SSRIs are also anti-depressants so can aid with the "secondary depression" that is commonly a consequence of OCD. If they happen to do more than that for a particular sufferer, that's great. But they are essentially a longer term option, and a structured withdrawal programme is needed to reduce, or eventually come off, them - they take a long time to build up in the body's systems, and a long time is needed to gradually work their way out. I am planning to tackle this withdrawal process starting in the Spring. Ostensibly it shouldn't be a problem as I am only on a lowish dose of 20mg Citalopram (the max usual dose given in UK for someone of my age (68)) but reactions are so specific individually.
  12. taurean

    Existential OCD

    I don't Paul I like Shakespeare's quote. All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. But to me - since we aren't immortal and I can't imagine wanting to be anyway - we strutt our time upon that stage, then pass our place upon it on to the next generation. I call this "handing on the relay baton". Back in 2001 my mother handed on she and my father's batons to my sister and I. Some 6 year's back on were passed my parents-in-laws batons to their children. There is a natural order to this which brings me comfort. As an amateur astronomer I understand universe star systems galaxies planets asteroid belts and the life cycle of a star. It fascinates, not worries, me. In fact it brings me enormous calm to know how this chain of existence occurs. Do I worry? No not ostensibly. Many years ago I was a compulsive worrier, worrying about literally anything. Had I carried on with that it would have been seriously detrimental to my health. I learned how to stop worrying, and look to see problems as challenges, concerns not worries. Nowadays I look to have a great time every day. Of course I don't - and my wife and I had some difficulty with an emotional response she felt to something today. But we face such things together, shoulder to shoulder, and look for the sunshine again ☀
  13. taurean

    Norovirus fear

    The answer of course, on behalf of the non-contamination sufferers, is that they might not know because they wouldn't have carried out such compulsive research I think I knew about the microcobes in colds flu and norovirus, now you mention it. But it would still be low threat on my radar, nothing to sound an alarm. This has to be your target. In OCD we fear the theme, say we cannot tolerate it. But we must in order to recover, and it can very definitely be done with CBT. I have the T-shirts👕 My erstwhile local hospital, Whipps Cross in East London, had sufferered outbreaks of norovirus and was applying strict health care procedures as a result. When I needed to attend it for an X-ray, and another time a blood test, did this strike fear into me? No. I simply made sure I complied with those rules and gave it no further thought. I think we are back at the "exaggeration of risk" or at least excessive focus on risk element to contamination OCD. As an insurance broker, risk was a concept I was dealing with every working day. Without risk I would have had no job, no salary, and now no pension. It held no fear for me and I would advise on avoiding, managing and offloading known risks within my specialities. I didn't fear them. I dealt with them. And I almost felt pride when a client called me a "necessary evil", though I would have preferred it if he had left out the "evil"
  14. Hi Skippy. Here is a topic I posted on the basics of CBT which hopefully will help you and others. https://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?/topic/84356-taurean-simple-guide-to-key-elements-of-cbt-for-ocd/ All the best Roy
  15. Here you are Skippy https://www.ocdforums.org/index.php?/topic/77971-ruminating-video/