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OCD-UK Member
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About taurean

  • Birthday 27/04/1950

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Northampton, England
  • Interests
    Olympics (especially London 2012),Athletics,Swimming,Photography, Astronomy, Archaeology, Antiques Programmes on TV,Art. Choral and Classical Music, Jazz, Fishing, Aerobic Exercise, Gardening, National Trust, Wildlife

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  1. It's not a "cold turkey" process Phil. You can't just do it. That may be the goal, but you gradually work towards that. So must we all. So have I and things that would totally floor me before just don't bother me now. So, whilst it just now might seem impossible, that will gradually move along the scale to improbable, then possible and so on. It's softly softly catchee monkey.
  2. But that is surely playing into the hands of the OCD, supporting a compulsion which suggests there is something to fear. The point is that there isn't. Sufferers have to learn to accept this and expose themselves to what frightens or revulses them. The urge to confess, replace, surrender to the police for crimes OCD says we have committed or whatever the OCD theme must be faced up to. No-one is going to recover without weaning off the carrying out of compulsions. Kicking the can further down the road won't help.
  3. We can't obey a rule that everything has to be free of everything else at all times. And if we "see" something, it doesn't then - magically - become a problem, where none was perceived before. If I hadn't faced up to the attempted rules of my OCD I would never have been able to leave my house, never been able to go to work. OCD's rules are fabrications and exaggerations
  4. Phil there is nothing going on around you that isn't going on in miriads of other homes. It's YOU that has to change. Change your interpretation of what OCD is telling you to do. Understand it lies and grossly exaggerates. Change your demand for absolute cleanliness. Learn to cast off revulsion, as I and others do. There will be anxiety as you go through this process, but then it will ease away - as it has done in my case. Only YOU can make this happen.
  5. But only you see this as a threatening risk. Your behavioural response is a learned behaviour - it can be unlearned through CBT. BUT you must be prepared to undergo some short term pain for long-term gains. Don't waste the time and money you will have paid for the CBT. Rather, be ready to believe and engage with that, and look to handle it professionally and well.
  6. Yep doing fine Wonderer, all thanks to help from the charity forums and my therapists. As you said, it's not just about learning what we ought to be doing - we have to put in the work to make that happen, and consistenly - only we can do that.
  7. Wonderful news Wonderer, thank you so much for updating us
  8. We are taking some time out to enjoy this lovely garden, and to get out and about our new hometown of Northampton. Plenty of places to go, such as Althorp House and grounds, various other country houses and gardens, the canals and the canal museum, country parks. Mentally we are both good and looking forward to this period of time.
  9. N. B. Remember not to try and neutralise the intrusions. You know how this form of OCD works don't you, so leave them be and just let them play on if they do. You know that the OCD is taking your real core character value and alleging the opposite, and you know it lies. Take plenty of comfort and strength from that.
  10. This is a situation I regularly faced with my OCD and work. It was episodic. In an episode I would get up and go into work and put on the family act (we were all amateur singers/actors, with one of us a pro). Only those closest to me would know I was suffering with constantly-repeating OCD intrusions, so feeling anxious. But I just ignored them even if they played on in the mental background and got on with my job.
  11. You just have to ignore that jibe, same as we have to when they think we can just "push it out of our mind". Recovering from OCD can appear like the labours of Hercules because the illness is so powerful, so convincing, and it's so difficult to change ingrained learned behaviours. There is lots to help family members understand OCD on the main OCD-UK website, but I wonder how many might bother to read it.
  12. N. B. Phil your problem might also be one of revulsion. I clean my hands after touching the food waste Lucy bin in the kitchen, but my wife doesn't tend to. Do I find this revulsive? Yes. Enough to make an issue of it? No. We have been together for approaching 40 years, and it - as with many behavioural differences between us - are just things we became accustomed to. Is there a threat there? I don't see one. OCD alleges threats that aren't there, or are grossly exaggerated. And revulsion becomes a repetitive emotion that creates rules. Once you really take that on board, and are prepared to dismantle and stare out those rules, you will start to recover.
  13. My nightly chill out - Listening to "smooth classics" on Classic fm. Divine. 

  14. Remember Phil the absolute best therapist in the world is of no help if the patient doesn't believe what they tell them, and doesn't work hard at making the necessary thinking and behavioural changes they tell them to work on. At the moment you aren't doing this, from what you previously were told in therapy, and what we have told you, and so the therapy isn't working. We told you why there was no need to replace the door handle. You haven't believed us and are replacing it. So now, with a new session of therapy starting, please enter into it with a new intent to listen to the therapist and not what your OCD is telling you.
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