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Ashley

Support my own therapy behavioural work and support the charity at the same time

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I agree you're an inspiration and your willingness to be honest and vulnerable will make a lot of sufferers feel a bit less alone. So sorry you had a crappy day but you are winning the war and you will win it 100% as you quite rightly say x 

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Sorry you're finding things so tough.  It takes an awful lot of courage to lay yourself so open & bare to others.  Huge credit to you :)

In your work you are an inspiration to others and offer so much by way of advice to get the help others both need and deserve.  You guide people towards the right routes to find expert help.  But what about you?  You spend so much time with people like Paul and a host of other specialists.  Isn't there any chance of you finding access to the top quality, specialist support you both deserve & need?  It just doesn't seem right (or in your best interest) to make do with something like a short course via IAPT.  You deserve better than that :hug:

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Thank you again guys.  Easy to forget that just 10 days ago this would have been impossible, I was absolutely dreading having to build the new work desk for Nicola.  But here I am kneeling with the brand new desk/chair ready to build up over the weekend. Zero anxiety.

20191018_124651.jpg

 

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3 minutes ago, Ashley said:

Thank you again guys.  Easy to forget that just 10 days ago this would have been impossible, I was absolutely dreading having to build the new work desk for Nicola.  But here I am kneeling with the brand new desk/chair ready to build up over the weekend. Zero anxiety.

20191018_124651.jpg

 

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

This is amazing ashley!!!! Hope you're giving yourself an enormous pat on the back!! 

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Isn't that great how that kind of worked out that facing that trigger with the card delivery has made this move that you were dreading, anxiety free. I always love most the exposures that result in that sort of direct freedom/reward.

Thank you again for posting more about your journey and how challenging it can be even when you've made so much progress. It is especially hard when our OCD involves a degree of embarrassment as it can make it hard to talk about with our counselors! I've been there as well. I think this is a great move coming out with it and yes seeing all that you've overcome in the past, i'm sure you can tackle this side of your ocd just as well as you've done with the rest of it.

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8 hours ago, Ashley said:

Thank you again guys.  Easy to forget that just 10 days ago this would have been impossible, I was absolutely dreading having to build the new work desk for Nicola.  But here I am kneeling with the brand new desk/chair ready to build up over the weekend. Zero anxiety.

20191018_124651.jpg

 

Great job! :clapping:You are very strong Ashley:sport_boxing:

Always remember you progress Ashley, all your progress has been amazing :57439eb60db27_thumbup:

Thank you for sharing your journey, you are a very brave person. You are an inspiration :57439eb60db27_thumbup: 

Edited by Andrea

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Great stuff Ashley. OCD is one big exaggerator and liar, but sadly to the sufferer it may be so utterly convincing in some measure. 

And probably Nicola won't see any issue threat or concern with where her workstation is - but that's how this illness works. 

 

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I did it!   Felt great sitting on the floor putting the desk together.  Thank you for all your encouragement guys.

20191019_125343_resized.jpg

 

20191019_125401_resized.jpg

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Not sure if this has been mentioned before, but if its possible it would be super convenient to be able to filter cards by category/occasion.  Lots of cute looking cards there!  Do they ship internationally btw?

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Thanks for asking BelAnna.

Isn't this the way. With the office stuff, I felt great no problem.... until I tried to do a nice thing (again this this issue).... I offered to take my new colleague for a lunchtime sandwich in Belper to show her the local area. As she went to get into my car, I saw her bag and I nearly said, "don't put it on the floor", but I held off (trying to not give in to OCD) and of course it went on the floor. I tried not to focus too much on that.  Anyway, I didn't look to see where she put the bag when we got back and later in the afternoon I had a look to see which part of the floor it was (on purpose).  I won't lie my anxiety was back up, at least 4 maybe 5 on my scale of 10. But, I did the right things... I think.

  • I didn't ask her to avoid the floor
  • I didn't 'track' the bag 
  • After she left I did go and touch that part of the office floor where she had put the bag

Because I 'chose' to do the exercise my anxiety did come down (rather than a forced exposure which leads to anxiety going up).  So as I left the office maybe a 3. Less so since I got home, perhaps a 2, so tomorrow morning I need to touch that part of the floor again, and I guess the bag bottom itself.  At some point I need to touch the car floor but that's definitely a 6 at the moment.

 

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The exposure work is great and an inspiration to us. 

But until you have the cognitive awareness to challenge the underlying core belief that is yelling threat at you I suppose that is all you can practically do. 

Have you any idea how long the wait might be for that therapy? 

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44 minutes ago, Ashley said:

But, I did the right things... I think.

Yeah you did, you did excellent Ashley, you should be really proud. You told OCD where to go. Keep up with the exposures on the floor and you'll feel fine with it in no time.

A good approaching behaviour with the car would be to recreate what you're already choosing to live with, which is to touch it with an object, something you use every day. I mention it because you've had good success in the past with approaching behaviours, and they aren't mentioned enough and I've found them super helpful :)

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1 hour ago, Ashley said:

Thanks for asking BelAnna.

Isn't this the way. With the office stuff, I felt great no problem.... until I tried to do a nice thing (again this this issue).... I offered to take my new colleague for a lunchtime sandwich in Belper to show her the local area. As she went to get into my car, I saw her bag and I nearly said, "don't put it on the floor", but I held off (trying to not give in to OCD) and of course it went on the floor. I tried not to focus too much on that.  Anyway, I didn't look to see where she put the bag when we got back and later in the afternoon I had a look to see which part of the floor it was (on purpose).  I won't lie my anxiety was back up, at least 4 maybe 5 on my scale of 10. But, I did the right things... I think.

  • I didn't ask her to avoid the floor
  • I didn't 'track' the bag 
  • After she left I did go and touch that part of the office floor where she had put the bag

Because I 'chose' to do the exercise my anxiety did come down (rather than a forced exposure which leads to anxiety going up).  So as I left the office maybe a 3. Less so since I got home, perhaps a 2, so tomorrow morning I need to touch that part of the floor again, and I guess the bag bottom itself.  At some point I need to touch the car floor but that's definitely a 6 at the moment.

 

That's brilliant! Well done! Although my contamination OCD focuses on different things (primarily Norovirus) I can really identify with your response to the contamination fears that you had the other day but I'm also really inspired by how you're facing it head-on. 

Gemma's idea sounds like a good one and might help to lessen the anxiety re. the car floor, really quickly over the next week or so. 

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3 hours ago, Ashley said:

But, I did the right things... I think.

  • I didn't ask her to avoid the floor
  • I didn't 'track' the bag 
  • After she left I did go and touch that part of the office floor where she had put the bag

Because I 'chose' to do the exercise my anxiety did come down (rather than a forced exposure which leads to anxiety going up).  So as I left the office maybe a 3. Less so since I got home, perhaps a 2, so tomorrow morning I need to touch that part of the floor again, and I guess the bag bottom itself.  At some point I need to touch the car floor but that's definitely a 6 at the moment.

 

You are doing a great job Ashley :57439eb60db27_thumbup:  keep going and don´t give up :sport_boxing:  You will succeed with this car floor situation and it won´t bother you anymore :57439eb60db27_thumbup: 

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