'Innocent people don't confess...'

[Guest]

Saz would you ever consider structured therapy?

[Saz]

I just looked up structured therapy and I really don't think that would help...I've never heard of it before to be fair but it doesn't sound right. I feel stupid and a fraud because I only have this one issue that's caused all this. x

[PolarBear]

So you'd feel so much better if you were like me and had numerous different themes and types of obsessions? Funny, I didn't feel very good having those.

[taurean]

Now Saz you know you have other issues we've discussed - including magical thinking, personalising of news stories!

And you are very hypersensitive to worrying.

You need to stop this "I feel a fraud" balooney and do what has been frequently suggested by your good friends here - all of whom have had to do similar within their own themes - aka stop compulsing, stop giving belief and credibility to intrusions and connections.

When you really stop doing that and keep refocusing away, you will find the peace you seek - but not until then.

[Guest]

Hi Saz, no I meant looking up OCD therapy to undertake with a therapist in a structured way. There's got to be something

[Saz]

Oh sorry orwell...I'm stupid. I actually looked up 'structured therapy' and it was all to do with the family and family issues...I thought it was a bit odd for me lol! Thanks for trying to help...and thanks everyone else too.

Polar bear you know what I mean and I didn't mean it like that x

[Guest]

Ur not stupid! These things happen

[Binxy]

Come on Saz, time to take that leap of faith. You can't spend the rest of your life in limbo

[Guest tulipsandgerbera]

I have just read your thread, and so I don't know the back story in full but I can see how painful these intrusions are for you and how strong the pull towards compulsion.

What has been helpful for me in my own OCD is to know that the ruminative loop is activity at the front of the brain - problem solving, analysing, interpreting, responding to perceive threat - and that when we engage in chasing the thoughts with these behaviours we shut out the opportunity for peace, calm and connection because the front parts of the brain are very focused on threat/drive and block off our ability to soothe and find rest in life.

I personally have found Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy quite useful in terms of learning how to just be with the anxiety. CBT and ERP were very useful for structuring my response to thoughts, feelings and behaviour - but ACT helped me learn skills for unhooking from thoughts, and CFT helped me learn how to soothe myself when I was very agitated because of thoughts.

However, you have to take the steps. You have to be willing to turn towards the thoughts.

What helped me most? Really connecting in with what matters. Until you really believe that turning towards that pain MATTERS, that it is important in the context of your life and who you want to be in the world, you're going to be on the run from these intrusions.

For me, it was the kids. I was spending so much time trying to answer "Am I a bad mum? Might I harm these kids?" that I couldn't actually BE in the present with them, doing what they needed me to do - all the normal stuff that makes up a lifetime. And time, and life, was marching on while I was lost in obsessions and compulsions that weren't bringing me certainty anyway. We all know the pull towards certainty here, we wouldn't be here otherwise.. and at a certain point, you have to choose to lean into that in the service of living a more valued life, or stick with being inflexible, stuck and hooked and watch your life spiral downwards. No one can make that choice but you. And you can make that choice.

[DownTheRabbitHole]

Hi Saz, I'm writing this to tell you how much I'm feeling better after following the advice people have given me on here. As you know, I got stuck in a cycle of compulsions - ruminating and reassurance seeking mostly. I had another new false memory last week and although I could have asked for reassurance I didn't, instead I've been living with the uncertainty, my false memory still feels real but I'm trying not to let it it get to me. I don't know if it's real or not but I'm trying not to care, I even went into town by myself on Friday, something I've not been able to do in years as I was so fearful of developing another false memory. Please follow the advice from people on here, they know what they're talking about.

[Saz]

Thanks all.

Glad your feeling much better DTRH!

I see a certain someone has been sacked by the BBC for something that happened years back...These stories do absolutely nothing to help me and my 'false memory' honestly.

I am trying to ignore it though but it's hard to think that if my memory isn't false then I have all this to come...horrific. I'm getting really scared of writing on here too x

[gingerbreadgirl]

These stories do absolutely nothing to help me

You can use them to help you - you can use triggers such as these to deliberately face down your OCD. A bit like an arachnophobe holding a spider. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Think 'yes, maybe this could be me', then allow the anxiety to ramp up and get on with something else.

[Saz]

Thanks...its that old thing though of thinking that it REALLY mean's it might be true, like admitting it is deep down and that's scary and doesn't sit well with me...so hard gbg x

[Binxy]

I know it's hard, Saz. So hard. Hang in there, take the leap of faith (I know I keep saying this, I hope it's not annoying you)- it's the only way out of the loop.

Hang in there Saz.

[Saz]

Hi binx no your not annoying me, it's me annoying everyone else! X

[taurean]

You know what to do Saz. Those neural connections to the news,or any other such intrusion, are OCD,don't I myself know it!!!

As the forum team say, don't listen to, or give belief to, those connections.

[gingerbreadgirl]

Saz, I'm honestly not sure what you're posting on the forum, but I suspect it is in the hope that you will receive comments such as 'this is obviously OCD' which you have been told probably hundreds if not thousands of times by now.

The way you are posting is basically to carry out compulsions. The only thing you accept from anyone is reassurance. You do not accept our advice. You are adamant that you do - but I don't think you are being honest with yourself.

Time to do the hard work, Saz.

[Legend]

This sentence in the title played on my mind as soon as I heard it. What does it mean? I heard it tonight on something I watched and of course I am now worried because I felt like I was confessing about my 'false memory' when I was telling you guys about it or my friends. I've always felt this way about it - like I'm confessing to a rwall memory and not a false one. It's just adding more weight to it all being real. X

your views now Saz based off of fantastic information and knowledge provided ?

[Guest]

Saz give this a go http://www.guerrillaprojectmanagement.com/download/jeffrey_schwartz-you_are_not_your_brain-interview_transcripts.pdf

[Guest twonk the destroyer]

Thank you all but I'm really worrying.

I keep thinking that this is true and it's going to all come out years down the line. I know you all don't believe it's real but I do. You do here about this happening this way. Someone does something unspeakable/horrific and at the time the person doesn't realise but when they are older they know. I can't do this anymore. I really can't. I really can't.

It's just a script used in FICTION to portray a Kafkaesque situation where the person under suspicion can't win. For example, it could be used in a crime drama where a suspect was forced to "confess" to a crime they didn't commit, because corrupt police threatened his family. So the suspect "confesses" when he is innocent, then later we see the court scene with the prosecution lawyer telling the jury "innocent people don't confess."

It's not meant to be taken literally, in fact the message is the opposite, it's supposed to show you that yes, innocent people can and do confess sometimes. The writer chose the words in order that the audience would feel the frustration and anxiety of being in the situation the protagonist is facing. Television shows are for entertainment and it's a mistake to treat the script contents as directives on how to act, or statements of universal truth.

Getting back to your fear, why do you think it would matter, morally, if you did have a false memory and inadvertently said something factually incorrect? There are many conditions that can lead to that kind of behaviour and the people who are afflicted by it aren't to blame for their mistake. Being incorrect about facts due to a mental health problem is not wrong or immoral, because it's not something a person chooses. So, although you are not having false memories, even if you were there would be no rational reason to feel guilty.

[Guest]

Twonk, that is not helpful for Saz. The problem is not with being rational, it is to do with having OCD!

Now she's going to obsess about the last line you wrote. Really, that is most unhelpful!!

Edited February 27, 2016 by Orwell1984

[taurean]

Saz, don't get involved with Twonk's post.

This is the danger when you open up a new topic.

You already know what to do and that you must resist the power of intrusions and the urge to compulse.

[Saz]

I've not yet read your link orwell but thanks.

Twonk I don't understand what you mean?

[gingerbreadgirl]

It doesn't matter what Twonk meant, Saz - he was trying to be helpful but you need to follow proven advice if you want to get better. That's all that matters here.

[Saz]

It just sounded like he thought it wasn't a false memory..which shouldn't bother me because I myself struggle with that very thing. Was just a bit confusing x