How long for anxiety to fade

[Hopingtorecover]

So like many people my kids go back to school tomorrow. Last year I got into the habit of compulsively changing them out of their uniform when they came in as I couldn’t stand the thought of it being on the chairs in the classroom or accidentally touching the school toilets then them sitting in the house with it on. 

Ive agreed with my therapist that from tomorrow im not going to do that and it’s making me feel anxious but I know I need to do it. 

How long is this going to take until it just feels normal? 

Any insight/encouragement would be most welcome

 

[Angst]

It is one of the major principles of CBT for OCD that this will be the case.

But the duration of anxiety I think depends on the individual. But it will stop.

You know that your previous regime was not necessary by saying ‘I got into the habit of compulsively changing them’. The word compulsively reveals it.

Those of us with OCD know that our beliefs are wrong at the intellectual level. But at the emotional level we do not accept. You will have to stop yourself.

Good luck. But your kids are clean enough. Just wait for the anxiety to subside. It is going to be a lot better without this compulsion.

[Handy]

Brain Lock has stories on moms like this. 

How long it takes depends on how strong an exposure it is. Hours, days. My first big one took 5 days b

[Ashley]

1 hour ago, Hopingtorecover said:

How long is this going to take until it just feels normal? 

Any insight/encouragement would be most welcome

 

1 minute ago, Handy said:

How long it takes depends on how strong an exposure it is. Hours, days. My first big one took 5 days b

 

There's some truth to this, but in my experience if we choose to change, if we choose to the exposure and we have fully prepared, worked on expecting the anxiety and understood why we are completing the exercise then generally anxiety fades quickly.  Compared to facing an exposure when we're not fully prepared or ready to 'take the risk', then anxiety can last a while, or even days.  

I once completed a challenge which was months in preparation and the anxiety was rising the nearer I got to the big day. But when it came to do the exercise whilst I was so, so anxious, I chose to engage (I was given an opt out) and the anxiety faded within minutes (which nobody believes when I talk to them about this).  So much so in fact within 30-45 minutes of engaging in work, I had more or less forgotten. 

[Emsie]

Good luck tomorrow hopingtochange, you can do it! Keep us updated. X

Edited September 2, 2019 by Emsie

[Hopingtorecover]

Thanks everyone! I’m prepared that this may take a couple of weeks of doing it everyday for it to be the new normal. And the worst can’t be that bad can it?!

[Emsie]

38 minutes ago, Hopingtorecover said:

Thanks everyone! I’m prepared that this may take a couple of weeks of doing it everyday for it to be the new normal. And the worst can’t be that bad can it?!

That's really positive thinking. You can do this! 

[Handy]

Ash, didn’t you once post you didn’t wash for two weeks & it was quite successful?

[PolarBear]

The other thing is, if you sit there sll night, thinking about dirty uniforms, you'll set back your recovery. Say to heck with it and keep busy with life.

[Hopingtorecover]

5 hours ago, PolarBear said:

The other thing is, if you sit there sll night, thinking about dirty uniforms, you'll set back your recovery. Say to heck with it and keep busy with life.

Any tips on what to do with those thoughts?

[paradoxer]

Yes, if they want to come in for a second at a time, let them, you can't stop them anyway, nor should you try, but don't ruminate. 

[Ashley]

13 hours ago, Handy said:

Ash, didn’t you once post you didn’t wash for two weeks & it was quite successful?

 

That's right. One day I had a flashbulb moment, I wasn't afraid of germs, I was afraid of the uncomfortable feeling OCD generates if I can't shower.  So that lightbulb moment enabled me to challenge myself by not showering for about 10 days I think it was. I was washing my hands, but not obsessively.  Lucky I was working from home and it was the time of year which wasn't hot and sticky, so I was able to somehow get away (socially) with not washing.

That wasn't the end of my OCD, but it certainly gave me some confidence to move on with other challenges. 

[leif]

For me I've found the anxiety somewhat unpredictable in its duration and intensity. Sometimes i think something's going to bother me and it doesn't at all, sometimes it's the reverse where i think it won't bother me too much and i'm surprised by the intensity of the anxiety.  Sometimes i'll go for a  week with very low grade anxiety, or discomfort around something. I think the key is just knowing that you can handle the anxiety, or the discomfort--approaching exposures in  a gradual enough way so that the anxiety isn't too much,, and also understanding enough about the CBT approach that the anxiety isn't an indication that something is wrong. I always especially like tackling my OCD issues that affect others in my life--giving other people more freedom from my issues. It gives me extra motivation and helps me to not go back to compulsions. 

10 hours ago, Hopingtorecover said:

Any tips on what to do with those thoughts?

I don't try and stop thoughts around the idea that things are contaminated. It seems there are different approaches to that, but I find it works best for me to just acknowledge my fearful thoughts and move along with the day. Sometimes they are absent from my mind, sometimes they are subtly there in the background, sometimes they suddenly come up big time, but again if you are going into an exposure knowingly, you should be prepared for those thoughts and know to just not react with compulsions.

[Hopingtorecover]

Well it’s been two hours since they came home from school and theyre in their uniforms on the sofa. Trying to just have fun with them and my husband is being super encouraging without reassuring! Hopefully this is taking the power out of the thoughts and some breakthrough is happening. 

[leif]

So great to hear--good for you!

[Hopingtorecover]

I also had to take the baby to the doctors today and haven’t changed my clothes after. So doing some good battling today!

[Emsie]

Amazing! A huge well done! X

[Andrea]

That is amazing Hopingtorecover! Congrats! 

[PolarBear]

Excellent!

[Hopingtorecover]

Doing the same again today. Does anyone else find when they begin exposures in one area it ripples out into other areas and you find yourself being a lot more resilient in avoiding other compulsions as well as your focused one?

[Gemma7]

Yes definitely. I think it's because it starts to fundamentally change your beliefs about risks and they are the overarching beliefs that cover many compulsions

Well done too x

[Red breast]

Oh I'm so pleased I found this! This is one of my biggest problems at the moment. The thought of the toilets at school and their uniforms. So I'm even washing my toilet seat when they sit on it because of it and making them change straight away. How are you getting on now with it?

[Hopingtorecover]

On 06/10/2019 at 02:57, Red breast said:

Oh I'm so pleased I found this! This is one of my biggest problems at the moment. The thought of the toilets at school and their uniforms. So I'm even washing my toilet seat when they sit on it because of it and making them change straight away. How are you getting on now with it?

Sorry I’ve only just seen this. I’m still don’t enjoy it but it’s become normal now and doesn’t cause the same anxiety it did. I also don’t like them sitting on the toilet at school then my toilet and often clean the toilet while they’re in the bath but my guess is it wouldn’t bother a non-sufferer. 

[Closed for repairs]

On 03/09/2019 at 13:33, Ashley said:

On 03/09/2019 at 00:25, Handy said:

Ash, didn’t you once post you didn’t wash for two weeks & it was quite successful?

 

That's right. One day I had a flashbulb moment, I wasn't afraid of germs, I was afraid of the uncomfortable feeling OCD generates

I'm going to write this down,

People keep talking about overblown sense of responsibility,  and I'm worrying about safety.

But short term the real problem is I don't like the feeling I get when I'm not sure, that gnawing stomach churning, all your muscles contracting, I hate it, and that's what I've got to get used to!

[Closed for repairs]

2 hours ago, Hopingtorecover said:

Sorry I’ve only just seen this. I’m still don’t enjoy it but it’s become normal now and doesn’t cause the same anxiety it did. I also don’t like them sitting on the toilet at school then my toilet and often clean the toilet while they’re in the bath but my guess is it wouldn’t bother a non-suffere

Yep, I'm not going to say public toilet seats are my favourite places, but I don't worry about where other people have sat before they sit in on my toilet seat.